Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Good and Bad of Marriage

The Good and Bad of Marriage Hello ladies, I decided to respost a BLOG from the past!! Sometimes we just need a reminder, and good information or a good blog post never goes out of style.

Marriage itself has it's pros and cons, its good, its bads, its ups and downs. And every marriage is different. Just like you should compare yourself to another person (in most cases), you shouldn't compare your marriage. So today, I wanted to talk about the GOOD and the BAD of Marriage in your oppinion. Or the GOOD and BAD of your Marriage. Your choice. My only request is that if you write about the GOOD, you must write about the BAD.

Good: As for my marriage or marriage period, I like the commitment aspect. I like the fact that if you love someone and they love you that you agree to come together and create a family, a lifestyle, have common goals and work towards them, grow and enjoy life together. I like the family aspect. I personally knew who my father was/is, but he didn't father me. I even had a stepdad in the house for at least 10 years, but he didn't father me either. He was just there physically. I always knew something wasn't right about that and knew I didn't want that for my future. My husband is a great father and very involved in every aspect of our children's lives. I like the fact that we are a team when it comes to our children. I like the safe feeling my husband gives me. Not the fact that he takes care of me kind of safety but the fact that he is just here feeling. When he's home, it's like awwww daddy's home. When he's not, I hear every crack in the floor! I personally like the fact that my husband pays the bills! Yep, he sure does. And he pays them on time. He started paying the bills when I was pregnant with our first child b/c he didn't want me to stress out and afterward just kept doing it. I love always having someone to talk to, bounce ideas off of, and living with the person you should trust the most. And of course as far as intimacy without getting to graphic, I like being with one person you trust PERIOD! It's crazy out there, sometimes I feel for singles who have to get condoms, get sexual history, go get tested and still don't really know .... all before you have sex!

BAD: Sacrifices! Both parties make sacrifices BUT to me... women make more sacrifices. A woman takes care of her husband, the children and the house. When is it time for her dreams outside of the home? Can she have dreams outside of the home? When do they fit in? I mean TO ME, back in the day alot of women just wanted to do what I just stated above. But growing up as a child, I never thought about it from a parent perspective. I was just dreaming and working towards my goal. I knew one day I wanted a husband and children but I also wanted a career and to do great things outside of the mother-wife role. I didn't realize until I got married that as the WIFE that I would have to slow my roll! Another thing that I personally don't like that as a WIFE it seems like I am asking permission to do something from my husband versus just letting him know. I mean I am a grown a** woman! LOL! But still, that's the way it seems. I don't like the fact that as a WIFE you always have to watch what you say in reference to the MIGHTY MALE EGO! You always have to pump that EGO! WTW!! Make them feel good. Blah blah blah! Shoot! PUMP ME UP! Who is feeding my EGO! "I walk like this 'cause I can back it uuuup!" (~beyonce) I have more to say but I will let you all talk.

Go ahead ;)


Donnie Brown said...

The good about marriage is growing together; pushing each other to do better. Making where ever you are into a house and not just a home/apartment. As a man I love to pay the bills take my kids to practice and be a husband/friend to my wife.

The bad about marriage: It is not all about you anymore even without kids you still have to respect your spouse and I think this is when you lose yourself identity. As a man is does it get little overwhelming to take care of the family. I know it has to be rough for woman with children to want to have a career and be mom and be a wife. That is the new society that we live in and both wife and husband have to learn to play their role.

D WWAHHMpreneur Johnson said...

I love that you've created this conversation space here. My thoughts:

Good - I am grateful that I married the right person for me. My husband is very patient ... I am a work in progress ... no he's not perfect, either, but he's perfect for me. :)
He has always taken care of me and the kids (married for 12 years); and I am truly truly grateful that last year he took over the bills and the shopping ('cause he's a great couponer), so this has freed me up to pursue my calling (founded an org and a ministry over the last year or so)

Bad - like you, I also have found the stifling of my personal career aspirations to be a bit disappointing BUT, honestly, hubby has kept me out of a lot of trouble 'cause sometimes I need to be stifled. lol ... gotta be honest. I also don't like that sometimes I feel guilty because I have started working on one of my dreams, even though my family is supportive, helpful and never complain ... don't know why this "mommy guilt" just never seems to go completely away

BernettaStyle said...

Wow! You two made very good comments and I am so glad to get a Male's point of view! You both give really good food for thought! Thank you again. And yes, that MOMMY GUILT is a BEAST!

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how i got my ex boyfriend back after a break-up.
I'm Alvin Lee 21 yr old from UK,
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