Friday, May 4, 2012

In and Out of Love with you spouse?

Do you fall in and out of love with your spouse? Is that even possible? I mean, once you fall out of love...can you really FALL BACK IN LOVE? I guess anything is possible, but how often does it happen. I know many times I hear women say, I love my husband but I am not in love with him but recently I have heard men saying this more and more. Men don't usually admit to not "being in love with their wives". In the instances that I did get to speak to the men, it seems that they were their for the sake of the children - and if the kids were gone (or non existent) so would HE (or them).

It just makes me think, if you knew your husband loved you but really wasn't in love with you anymore, would you still want him to stay with you? Would you want him to move on. Shoot if you find out he is really not in love anymore, you might want to move on! Or is just loving you enough? Is just staying in a relationship for the sake of raising kids in a two parent home enough? It's a hard question to ask, it's a hard pill to swallow. In both situations, the wives really have no idea.

Also, can a person really be the love of your life if they don't feel the same about you? And if you are truly meant to be someone, would you really fall out of love with them? I am just asking questions as I type. Also, let's talk about years.... I hear people say, "Oh we've been married 12 years! We've been married 21 years!" Okay, does that mean that either party wanted to be there the entire time? Or even still wants to be there? Years don't really mean a thing, because you never know what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes, it is some real unhappily married folks! Just saying.

This post was just me sitting here thinking aloud. It had no real point. But if you have thoughts, feel free to share. And don't get me wrong. Marriage is not a bad thing at all (depending on yours! LOL!) But I know that it is alot of UNHAPPY married folk fronting for their friends and their SPOUSE. And men usually hide their unhappiness more than women do. They just go with the motions for whatever reasons, (family, money, can't walk away). A women will voice her unhappiness in different ways, (actions, lack of sex, etc.). My thing is.... why stay?

I think one of the worst feelings to feel is 1) being in a relationship KNOWING this person is not the ONE for you but you can't just walk away (because of the life you created) AND 2) Knowing exactly who is the person for you but you can't have them (because of the life you created).

Have a great weekend!
This was just my spontaneous post!
Love HARD!