I won! I won! I won the contest!

Guess what! I won the Black Swan Style Swap Contest. I received the news two weeks ago but I just haven't been able to update my blog. The contest ended on October 31 and I emailed the lady in charge on November 4th to find out the results. Well, she called me right back and told me she has good news for me! She said, "Not only were you a finalist and won $500 but you are also the Grand Prize Winner of $4,500!!!" What a grand total of $5,000! I almost jumped out of my office! I was so excited and so thankful. BUT BUT BUT the not so great news is that I won't get it until early.2012.  So no Christmas shopping with that money! It is still a blessing none the less. The original gift was supposed to be a trip for two to Boston, hotel stay, and more. They decided to just give the value of the grand prize. That is fine with me!

I am so happy and I appreciate all the votes from my friends and family! It really did matter. It really did count!

Black Swan Wine Contest: VOTE FOR ME!!

Click the link to VOTE for me http://www.blackswanwine.com/Sip-and-Swap/Style-Swap.asp

Back in June, I went to a Fashion Swap hosted by the Swapaholics, sponsored by Black Swan Wine. It was actually at the Atlanta Zoo. The event was great too. I actually saw the Swapaholics on Dateline in November 2010 and started doing my own fashion swaps after that! We (Teresa & I) call ourselves the Swap-Tastics!

Before the night was over, a represenative from Black Swan told me to enter the competition by taking a picture of myself in a something I got at this swap! I was like, "I can do that!" I went home and made my hubby snap 1 million (ok exaggerating) pictures and submitted this one! And just last week, I get a call that I am finalist!! I was shock and SUPER excited. I thought of the famous line, "It's a honor just being nominated!" But the truth is, I want to win. So can you please support me and vote for me. The contest end on 10/31/11 and it's a great grand prize. Cash & a trip to Boston to do MORE SWAP SHOPPING!

Thanks for your support!! Please share the link with your friends and facebook!
http://www.blackswanwine.com/Sip-and-Swap/Style-Swap.asp

DAMN! I have to give up some more STUFF???!!!!!

Do you find yourself sacrificing more than your husband since you got married? What types of things do you or have you given up in order to make the marriage work? Have you given your money towards your husband’s dreams? Have you sacrificed your credit? Have you put your dreams on hold? How did that work out for you?



I was at a wedding a few weeks ago and the Minister said to the WIFE-TO-BE (as he was marrying the couple), "...Help your husband make his dreams come true..." I was taken aback and even caught a small attitude for a moment. I made a face and even did a little smirk over at my own husband! The minister didn't tell the husband to be to 'help make his wife's dreams come true!’ Or even tell the wife to make sure you make your own dreams come true TOO! Or does that not matter when you get married? Is it all about the husband’s vision and dreams? And should your dreams, goals and vision be tied into his? And if yours are different that means putting yours on the back burner so his can be manifested first? Man, this is heavy. I know we are created to be our husband's helpmate BUT ........... (right here I have gotten speechless...) I will end this blogpost for today.

Do you TALK DIRTY? Here are some tips!

Talking dirty, if not your usual cup of tea, can seem a bit intimidating or trashy. What do I say? How do I say it? Will I sound silly? And yes, its a bit trashy and for lack of a better word. Lets substitute "trashy" with SPICY! Change your mindset and challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone for a minute. You never know, it may be just the spark needed to light a fire in your relationship.
You can start with a simple text message about how "hot" your spouse looks today. Lean in or come up from behind and extend an invitation to engaged in something naughty softly in your spouses ear...Thoughts? Still feel embarrassed or is that not SPICY enough?With these tips I discovered from Dr. Laura, you can shake your nerves and say what you want, the way YOU want to say it. Check this out!


- The first is to take a paragraph from a sexy story. Lift a passage from your favorite Danielle Steel, or do an online search for "erotica." Type up the text, then go through it and delete key words. If you ever played Mad Libs as a kid, you know how it works: Nouns, adjectives, verbs, and adverbs are replaced by your partner with no sense of the story's real context. Only this time, the vocabulary's a bit more grown-up! I never played "Mad Libs" but I do like the idea of searching sexy or erotic love stories for ideas!

- The other way is to take the driest writing and sex it up with a "naughty words only" rule. Try a news story from today's headlines, or clip an ad from a magazine. It's fun to see how sexy you can get about fabric softener! This may help you shake some nerves. Its simple and you can play with some dirty vocabulary and incorporate it into daily conversation. For example, "Hey babe. Did you hear about the news story on high frutose corn syrup? Not sure what the fuss is about, but I like the thought of something sweet and sticky. What you about you?" I don't know...just trying to help. Not too bad for off the top if you ask me! LOL

- If games aren't your thing, you can still spice up your connection with the power of the written word. Read erotica out loud in the bedroom before you hit the sack (think options such as Best Sex Writing 2010by Rachel Kramer Bussel, Afternoon Delight: Erotica For Couplesby Alison Tyler, Flipside Erotica presents: Both Sides of the Story Vol. 1 by Darren Michaels, and Bitten: Dark Erotic Stories by Susie Bright) As you read the stories, you will likely come up with a whole host of ideas to keep you busy well into the night. If you decide to forgo the dirty talk, maybe a kinky text or email? You can use these tips for inspiration. Or if you are a "I can show better than I can tell you type", this tip can still help get YOU in the mood for a SPICY night!

- Another idea is to write you partner a x-rated love note. If you are like most couples, you have likely exchanged love letters in this past, but this note will be a completely different animal. Be graphic and bold, and spell out every little thing you want to do your partner and vice versa. If you are seeking inspiration, turn to written erotica or check out a classic collection of poetry by authors such poets such as Robert Herrick, C. P. Cavafy, Walt Whitman, and e.e cummings. I know my husband would respond well to a sexy love letter. Leave it on his pillow. Mix it in to his pile of bills. Add a few naughty items to his "Honey Do List" on the fridge. (If it's private. Don't want the kids or company to see it I suppose.)
On "Talking Dirty"

Hearing your partner’s voice whispering his most intimate highly erotic, and doing the same for him will feel incredibly naughty and empowering. Feeling shy? Start slow by simply moaning or cooing your approval whenever he strokes or touches you in just the right way. Then, move forward to whispering your pleasure by saying “That feels so good” or “I love it when you touch me like that.” After you break those barriers (and see how much your partner enjoys it), you will feel bold enough to start being more graphic and uninhibited.
After you master dirty talk, try being more vocal about your hidden fantasies and desires. Whisper your secret fantasies to your partner over a intimate, candlelit dinner, and seduce him with your inner desires as you lay cuddling in bed. Whether you turn to mad libs, erotica, poetry, or the spoken word, just make sure to give voice your desires and harness the sexy power of words.
Dr. Laura Berman is a world renowned sex and relationship expert who is considered a thought leader and innovator in her field. As a sex educator, researcher and therapist for more than 20 years, she has helped countless couples build stronger relationships, improve their sex lives, and achieve a heightened level of intimacy. Her new television show, In The Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman, is featured on OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network, at 10 pm Monday evenings. She is also the Host of The Dr. Laura Berman Show on Oprah Radio on XM 111 and Sirius 204 at 5 PM EST.
This article was taken from Spicy Wifey Blog. I thought it was a good topic and wanted to share!

Have you ever "LOST" your Mojo? (Updated)

I am TIRED. Have you ever been TIRED as a mother? I am NOT saying, tired of being a mom (even though it's possible to feel like that too!), but right now I am asking, "Have you ever been just TIRED because of all the things that come along with being the responsible MOTHER (& wife)?"


What did you do to get your mojo back? How long did you say in that slump? Could your kids tell? Could your husband tell? What would you do when no one was around? Lately my energy level is not there. I am pooped. I still go where I need to go and take care of my responsibilities, but after that I am singing the praises of the bed or the couch. I just want to sit and look at the wall. I know that is crazy to say, but I either need a VACATION or a BREAK. I started back taking my vitamins, not sure if that is going to make a difference. Have you ever felt just drained?

Update: I took a break from LIFE September - December. Meaning, I didn't do any outside activites (except when I got the call to be an extra on Tyler Perry's House of Payne & BET's The Game!! Couldn't miss that!) But anything else, NO! I went to work, came home, did the WIFE & MOM thing. And once the kids were off to bed. I was on the couch relaxing! All my activities, I put on hold. I even closed my facebook account! I wanted to revamp! Revive myself. And honestly in January, I wasn't ready to come back to LIFE (so to speak) but I know I needed to because I have responsibilities outside of being a wife & mother. I do feel so much better even though, I was just telling my husband I am still tired. I am not even doing as much as I was but I already want a break. I think it's because working a FT job & being a MOM (&WIFE) is already time consuming - but mix in ALL THE EXTRAS - it's alot. I think it takes good time management and the discipline to say NO!

Do you look older than your husband?

My husband and I met another couple and chit chatted for a while. My husband had never met either person before. When we left he asked how old were they. I told him I didn't know. Well, he then says "She looks older than him!" I agreed. I said it seems that they have been together for a while because they have two children but I am not sure if she is older or it just looks that way. It got me to thinking.....is looking older than your husband a bad thing? We didn't talk anymore about it, but just the fact he asked me that made me wonder. Do you want your wife to look younger than you? Do you want to look younger than your husband? I think I kinda do (want to look younger). No one has ever told me I look older than my husband, but I think I might feel some kinda way about that, especially since I am 2 years younger than him. I am not saying that it's a bad thing to look older than your man, especially since we are in an age where more older women are dating & marrying younger men. I am just asking, would it bother you if someone made that comment?

Do you have gender specific roles?

Hello, today I would like to ask the question do you and your husband have gender specific roles? Do you do certain things because you ARE the WIFE or because you are just better at it? Do you cut the grass, does your husband pay the bills? Did you discuss this or did it just happen? Does it even matter?

What do you do if your HUSBAND'S SNORING KEEPS YOU AWAKE?

I actually received a call from a friend with this question. I love it. I love the fact the people want their questions posted and comments from other wives. That's exactly why this blog exist. So let's dig in.

In this situation the husband SNORES. Really snores. He snores so loud and so heavy that the WIFE actually gets up and sleeps on the couch in the middle of the night. She agrees that she sleeps better next to her hubby but, she can NOT sleep when he snores which is more often that not. If she nudges him, it wakes him up and disturbs his sleep (even though he says "Wake me up!") If she doesn't wake him up, she won't sleep. Now my husband snores sometimes, usually if he is super tired. He says I do the same (snore when I'm tired). It has never been that bad that I had to leave the room, and I won't hesitate to knocking him in the head a couple times and saying, "Hey! Hey!!! Turn over!"

They have been to the doctor and he does have condition. I can't quite remember the name she called it or what actually makes him snore but something is going on. She said that getting the snoring machine is really not an option due to financial reasons, but I suggested it might be worth making payments on such a machine. You have to sleep! You need a good night sleep to function. And who wants to have to sleep on the couch for the remainder of the marriage. I know I am exaggerating, but still. I have actually seen on TV talk shows couples that have separate bedrooms because the spouse snores, but is that something you really want to do? I think that in this age of technology, there is no way that something can't be done about his snoring. It's all about how bad do you want a good night sleep.

Ladies, feel free to weigh in!

Upscale Magazine Promotion & Giveaway!

Upscale Magazine: What successful people read.
It's a great magazine that showcases the hottest things in Entertainment, Beauty, Style, Travel & Living. The are branching out and now offering Upscale in a digital format as well as print.

Here is how the GIVEAWAY works, post a topic that you think Married women would like to discuss, on our facebook page https://www.facebook.com/WIFEBLOG or email the wife2010@gmail.com (and we will post it for you). Be sure to Tweet your post also www.twitter.com/wifeblog. Whoever gets the most "Likes" for their post will win an Upscale Magazine Prize Pack! The contest starts today and ends August 27th!

In addition to the giveaway, Upscale Magazine is offering a great deal:  Offer #1: Get both 9 issues (one year) of digital and print for the special low rate of 19.95 and receive a FREE Upscale t-shirt. *while supplies last Click here

Offer #2: Get both 9 issues (one year) of digital and print for the special low rate of 19.95 and receive a FREE Upscale t-shirt. *while supplies last Click here

And just for being a WIFE reader, enjoy an additional 10% discount by entering the following code: UPSC20

Learn more about Upscale Magazine at UpscaleMagazine.com, http://www.facebook.com/UpscaleMagazine, and on Twitter: @UpscaleMagazine.

W.I.F.E (WIFE Why Isn't Forever Easy)

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

OMG! Did you see this movie? I was fortunate enough to see a pre-screening (which was probably the only way I would have seen it) and really enjoyed it. I have never watched any of the other Planet of the Apes and really had no desire too. What peaked my interest was Whoopi and Sherri on The View. They spoke so highly of it that I sought out free tickets and got them!

Now, I haven't seen any of the other movies but watching this movie didn't make it seemed like I needed to. I was happy about that. This movie kept my eyes glued to the screen the entire time. The monkey was so real. His actions, his gestures and most of all his personality. He scared me at times but at the same time, I felt sorry for him. And if you saw the movie, the last three words that were spoken at the end of the movie made all of us gasp! I don't want to give too much away so I will stop while I am ahead, but I say it's a must see.

What does my husband need to do to keep me from cheating!

I know this is an interesting question, but last night at church we were having a forum discussion. Members put questions in a box and the mediators would pull and ask a question to the crowd. Anyone has an opportunity to answer. Well, one the questions last night was just the opposite from the title of this blog. It was “What does a WIFE need to do for her husband, so he does not cheat on her?” When I first heard this question, I really didn’t like it. Mainly because I don’t spend my days thinking, ‘How do I keep my man faithful?’ Then I thought what about the other way around. Women cheat too. And now-a-days if the husband is not acting right, women (not saying I would, I am just saying…) will go astray. Since the creation of Facebook and Twitter, statistics on women cheating are up 60%.


On this particular question (“What does a WIFE need to do for her husband, so he does not cheat on her?”) Most of the men answered. Mostly ALL of them said “Do not close up shop!” I think for women that is a no brainer, we know our man likes sex. But one gentleman made an all around great point. He said his wife needs to be everything and nothing! Everything, meaning she of course needs to fulfill his needs but be able to stimulate his mind. Be able to give him conversation and go along with the vision he sets for the house. Also he said “Never deny him sex!” which I don’t agree with, because if I don’t want to do it – I DON’T WANT TO DO IT! Then he said 'nothing'. Nothing meaning it depends on the maturity of the man, because a woman can be all that to you and a bag of chips but if the man is a dog, he is just a dog! It depends if the man is ready to be faithful and desires to be faithful to his wife. Statistics also show 1 out of 3 men cheat on their wives.

A lot of men were going back and forth and I just kept thinking, what about the women. What does my husband have to do to keep me from cheating? He has to be my EVERY-FREAKING-THING! He has to listen to me. Really listen to me. I want him to give me what he knows I need and my wants (within reason, he says I am spoiled). I want him to BLOW MY MIND more often than not (and you already know what I mean!). I want to be able to talk about everything with him, like politics, children topics, and even when I feel emotionally unstable. I want him to do what I ask him within a reasonable amount of time (and not have to ask him 50 million times and then end up doing it myself). I want him to be romantic without me nudging him to do that! (The men didn’t like that!) I want him to be hands on with the kids (he’s a great daddy, I must say!). I want him not to mind holding hands in public or showing affection. I want him to LOVE GOD and not afraid to show it. I want him to be strong and a leader in our house but not so strong that he is overbearing or controlling. I want him to be a motivator and my number one cheerleader. I want him to wash the dishes! LOL! I want him to have goals and let us (the family) see him working towards those goals. I want him to be “My Husband!” In return, I will do the same for him; at least I am trying to.

I also am not saying that if he doesn't do any or all of these things, I will go and cheat. I was just answering the question. Smile.

Plea for HELP! "My Husband has stopped......!"

Good morning ladies,

I hope you have been well. I received this email yesterday from a woman about her husband and how he has changed. They have only been married two years and she is already going through it. She told me it was fine to put the email on this blog in hopes that other married women will give their viewpoint or perspective. Please read this and feel free to share. You never know what another woman is going through and you never know how your story can help change theirs.

*You do not have to log in to comment. Just comment and you can put your name or anonymous*


Hello,
I have been married 2 years.  I saw your blogs and I had to talk about my life with my husband.I don’t know what to do about him, though. He acts like he don’t even want to give me a say in anything we do, he  doesn’t respect me, like when I don’t want to be touched, he does it anyway, like at night, he always touches some place on me and I can’t sleep. And he seems to be agreeing with everyone else about me and seems to love his mother more than he loves me, and makes me feel like I’m just a bad wife. And also, I want to ask a question- when your husband is done with sex you tell him not to continue but he does, can that be considered rape?  I don’t want a divorce, but I’m frustrated and honestly needing something more from him than he’s giving me right now. I do want to hold on to him, and I have patience, but honestly he’s testing me and I am feeling ready to separate from him.  I love him, but he’s really testing me, and I find myself asking where did the sweet man I married go? What do I do to make it better? I want both of us to be happy.

Famgrab Day! The Deal of the Day!

Hello Ladies,

Today is a great day. Today the wonderful site http://www.famgrab.com/ has displayed out Summer Fashion Swap as the deal of the day! It's a really great deal too! The Fashion Swaps are normally $20 but today you get it at 60% off! A whopping $8!!

Swapping is the new SHOPPING and it going on all over the country now. Ladies bring the unworn or gently worn items (Shoes, Accessories, Clothes, Handbags & more) to the SWAP and check them in. We then set up a SWAP boutique and what ever you can fit in your bag (that we provide) you can take home. We do ask that you bring at least 4 items to swap but there is no maximum. Click on the Swaptastics event tab for more information or email us at http://www.wife2010.com/

We are so excited about being featured today! Today is a great day!
See you at the SWAP SHOP! July 23rd!

I cried as my children rode away today! Have you ever sent your kids away to another state?

It was about 5:50 am as my son came to the side of my bed and said, "Mommy, can I tell you a secret!" He leaned over and said, "You are the best mommy ever!" And just stood and looked at me. I looked at him and started crying! He ran out the room, down the stairs, and into his grandparents mini-van. They were taking him and his sister to Florida. My daughter on the other hand wasn't as excited to go. As I walked downstairs, I heared screaming. Her daddy, is holding her as she screams, "I wanna stay! I wanna stay with Mommy and Daddy!" I want to bust out crying even more. I want to grab her and run back in the house! I really do. Instead, I stand there. I let daddy handle this one. And he does a nice job of it. He gives her, who by the way is 3, his fathers cell phone and calls his own cell. He talks to her from his cell as they pull off to make her feel better. She calms down. It worked.

My husband walks in the house still talking, as I wave by outside and crying like a baby. I started praying for my babies. You might be saying, "Why is she over reacting?" And maybe I am, but we live in Georgia. My in-laws live in Florida and it's not a hop-skip-&-a-jump away! It's hours. I have no problem or doubt they will take great care of their grand babies, but for me it's about the distance. They have watched them once before and I cried like a baby then too! I am going to miss them for sure even though I look forward to some alone time with the hubby. I am just not used to sending my kids away "for the summer!" Well it's really not for the summer, more like a week. Still, I honestly don't see how people send their kids away for a whole summer! I would be on edge all summer worried about my babies. I just need some peace that's all. Some peace.

Have you ever sent your kids away for an extended period of time to another state?

"I can't sweat because of my hair, so I don't workout!" Your Hair vs. Your Health

The following read today was found on http://www.youforie.com/. I thought it was an interesting read because I often speak to African American women who want to look good, but not good enough to sweat and workout. It's like the hair is the ruler of all things. I understand wanting to look good, but you can get your hair done ANYTIME, but your body is your temple and it's not an overnight project. I say you should workout and get your body in the condition you really desire and then worry about your hair. Why be fly from the neck up and your body isn't 1) Healthy & 2) In the best condition because you can't sweat due to your hair. The sad part is I used to think this way in my 20's (when I had a relaxer, and that was my excuse.). But I still worked out (a lot of walking in 30 minute increments) because I knew what I wanted my body to look like. Now in my 30's, I do not have a relaxer anymore and unfortunately after two kids my body goals are even MORE IMPORTANT so not wanting to sweat is not an option! In my 30's, walking wasn't enough. I have had to add workout routines, to get, stay and keep it toned! I can sacrifice a few cute hair days here and there to know that when I step out [for events or whatever] I feel I look great because I put in the work to do so. 

So please read the article below. It was NOT written by me, but I think she has some GREAT points. By Tosha Bailey http://www.toshabaileyfitness.com/
A 2007 study by womenshealth.gov showed that 4 out of 5 Black women are overweight or obese. In 2009, the CDC found that Black women were 60% more likely to be obese than non-Hispanic White women. We are all familiar with at least some of the diseases and health problems that are caused by obesity which include (but not limited to): Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, increased LDL (bad) cholesterol levels, heart disease, stroke, and death.

Despite all of that, the same study found that Blacks were 50% less likely to engage in physical activity compared to non-Hispanic Whites. Want to know the top reason given by many Black women on why they do not exercise? Their hair. A 2008 survey conducted by Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center found that 31% of 103 Black women said that they exercised less than they should because it might harm their hairstyles

With many Black women spending $70 or more for a relaxer and over $150 for a weave, one trip to the gym or pool can ruin the style causing more money to be spent bringing it back to its original glory.
As a personal trainer with seven years in the industry, I have personally heard this excuse over and over again. I have even been asked not to make workouts as intense to save a hairstyle. I know women who would rather pop a pill, drink a weight loss tea, have surgery (from lipo to lap band) and/or starve in order to lose weight without working out. Others feel that the only other option is to not do anything about losing weight at all. Obesity is an epidemic in the Black community and we must wake up, see the importance of exercise, and drop the hair excuse to put an end to it.

Luckily, there are ways to become active without ruining your hairstyle. In the 1990’s researchers at Harvard University created a pamphlet for active Black women called "Hair Care Tips for Sisters on the Move," that offered advice for maintaining both a healthy lifestyle and hairstyle. This pamphlet can still be found online at www.hsph.harvard.edu/sisterstogether/move.html.

Here are some examples of hairstyles that work well for active women of color:
Ponytails: Women with relaxed hair can pull their hair back into a high ponytail and pin the end under using hair pins. Use a headband/sweatband to catch sweat & keep the hairline smooth
Braids: This is a style I recommend to clients often. Micros, Cornrows or French Braids can be an easy way to maintain a cute style. You can also opt to create a couple of braids during workout, then take them down for a wavy, tousled look afterwards.
Weaves: Sew ins work well to protect your natural hair (because it’s braided) with the weave sewn in. This way you can wash the hair more often (if necessary) and be able to style it without damaging your natural hair.
Natural Styles: This is the route most Black women are taking now. Instead of fighting the natural hair texture, embrace it. Locs, Twists, Short afro or just wearing the hair out creates freedom to be as active in many ways including swimming, which is so often avoided by Black women due to hair concerns. I have personally been loc’d for 6 years now & love it! I was active before with a relaxer, but having locs makes it so much easier.

As you can see, there are many hairstyle options available to look good while becoming more active and creating a healthier, fitter, better you!

I completed my first week of INSANITY! (The Workout)

I completed my first week of this Insanity workout. I completed 6 days in a row! And what a workout it is. I have been getting up at 6am every morning to go in my basement and workout before the rest of the house gets up. It’s funny because my children get up after I finish and they always ask me, “Mommy, were you working out?” They know that mommy and daddy do work out. They even join in and hang as long as they can.


After the first week, I do notice a small difference. I know my stomach is down a little bit. I will take it! One week down, 7 weeks to go. I notice on day 6, I was able to stay in the workout longer than day 1 and day 2. So on day 50 and 60, I can’t wait to see how I am performing. I will say I want a knee brace though. I just want to protect my leg, because I feel something in my left knee when I work out. I also feel good throughout the day! I usually workout in the evening and getting up early is new for me. I think I like it though. The downside is I get sleepy earlier. Before I started working out, I would stay up to 1am with no problem. Now, I am getting sleepy at 10pm! It’s very weird. It also makes me make better food choices during the day. I feel like, “Hey I worked out today! I don’t want to mess any of this up!”

Insanity is INSANE. You work every part of your body without weights! And you start sweating during the warm up! I like that he yells in the camera, “You can do it!” I need that sometimes. I like when he also says, “Take a break when you need it!” and “Never compromise form for speed!” If you do this program, you will need a break unless you are superman. Just get back up and get back in it. When I do this work out, I just concentrate on the finished product. I see myself TONED!

So, one week down. 7 weeks to go. August 26th BABY!!!!!!!!!

I will say my husband is doing this as well. We are just on different schedules. He works out at night and is one week ahead of me. I told him that we can be each others arm candy.

To have or NOT to have your child a BIRTHDAY PARTY?

That is the dilemma I am facing this year. I have two wonderful children and they have been having a party every year since birth! I love giving them parties and I am sure they enjoy it, but it gets tiring and it gets expensive. My son will be 6 this year and my daughter will be 4. My and husband and I have agreed from now on, we will do parties every other year. And this year will be the year of NO parties. What we are doing is allowing our children to pick 4-5 friends and we will take them out and spend the day.


My son is actually a 4th of July baby. This year we are letting him choose his friends and his activity for this coming Saturday. He wants to go see Cars 2, lunch and bowling! I am definitely doing lunch and the movies but bowling might be ruled out. Once I add up all the kids for movies and lunch, that’s enough. If I add bowling, I feel I might as well have had a party! We are doing this to save money. But I don’t know, I will see how the day flows.

What about you? Do you give your children a party every year? I think if you want to and have the means to do it, by all means – have a party. If you want to take a break from the many kids running around and do something just as impactful for their special day – do that as an option. Whether you give your kids a party or not, they just want to have a blast for their birthday.

I do have a question. For parities where you let him invite 4 or 5 friends, should you choose the friends or let him choose? I let him choose his party crew. He knows best who he feels he will have a blast with.

If you don't like your body, CHANGE IT! My INSANITY Journey Day 2! (Out of 60)

I have started on a journey to redefine my body. I want a new shape and I am committed to changing it. I believe if you want a new look, maybe you should change too. I am not doing it with surgery or pills (but I do take vitamins) but I am doing the workout DVD INSANITY! I am 34 and I am already in good shape. I stayed active as a child/teenager and did cheerleading and track all of my adolescent years. Even as an adult I continue to work out and attempt to eat a balanced diet. Although sometimes French fries, pizza & chicken wings get the best of me. You see I am not a sweets person (which is another reason I believe my weight has stayed down over the years). I hardly ever eat cake. I don’t like pies and really hardly ever desire a donut, cookie or candy. I just have no desire for that. But like I just said - if you put some fries or pizza (good pizza not the franchise stuff!) in front of me…………. I might bend!


I am healthy. I am currently a size 8 and can fit into some (limited some) 6’s. At my last physical, all of my blood work came back as HEALTHY & great numbers! But I want a better body. It’s not about size with me because I am happy with my actual size (how I look in my clothes) but not excited about my actual weight and just the actual change in the body (kids & age). I am thankful for what my past exercise regimen has done for me but what I realize was – I was maintaining what I have (weight) and not actually trying to redefine my body. I currently weight (here it comes!!!) 150. 10 pounds of that is after baby weight! My baby is 3 ½ and I have never been 150 in my life. Before my son, I was 144 (the biggest ever at the time), but some of that weight was newlywed weight. After I had him, I lost all 70 pounds and then some. I got back down to 135. Looking and feeling great! But here comes baby number 2. I gain another 70 pounds but haven’t been able to knock off this last 10 pounds. It’s funny because I have been concentrating more on the 10 pounds over the last 6 months and it is remaining steady. I will eat right, work out and lose 2-4 pounds and then here come Friday, Saturday & Sunday eating. I will gain it all back over the weekend.

I want to lose 10 pounds and TONE my thighs, arms and get my abs TIZ-IGHT! At one point I wanted a tummy tuck, but I realized my stomach is not that bad. And if I just dedicated myself to really working out, I could fix it naturally (I do understand everyone can’t do that). I don’t just want to lose 10 pounds, but I want my body DEFINED! And I am excited about INSANITY because if I am faithful to the process, I know in 58 days, I will have a better body! I am going to blog about my journey and hopefully you will comment about yours. And if not, just enjoy the story. I am not going to post before and after until AFTER! I will be Thirty-FINE in a few months and my goal has always been to grow older gracefully. It’s time to have the body I want and dedicate myself to doing. No one is going to do it for me but me! I am tired of wearing girdles, body magic’s, corset’s, etc.! I just want to put on my bra and shirt and GO! I never wore support before my kids! I just held it in! LOL!!! But now, these support garments have become part of my freaking wardrobe! NO MORE! NO MORE! BETTER BODY COME FORTH!

So today is day 2 out of a 60 day program. I started last night after watching the BET Awards (which were a little disappointing, honestly). And I got up again, something I have NEVER done, at 6am to work out before going to work. I also have a new job at a college, so this is going to be interesting. Insanity makes you sweat like no other workout, so it looks like I will have to wet/rinse my hair after every workout. Thank GOD I am natural (no relaxer), so I can wet and go! Plus, its summer so I don’t do a lot of hair straightening in the summer anyway due to Georgia humidity! So I will be rocking a fro for 60 days!

WIFE NIGHT: Sip & Swallow! What is your Love Language?

Saturday, June 11th we had our first WIFE NIGHT Support Group Gathering. We called the night Sip & Swallow and we had a ball! We (Teresa, Angela & I) taught about the 5 Love Languages. It's based on the book by Dr. Gary Chapman. When the night began, I was able to explain where the idea of WIFE came from and what my goals are for the organization. We then proceeded to all share a little bit about ourselves and a Hot & Spicy tip that makes our hubby smile. OMG! You had to be there for some of the things that were said! Greats tips! It should have been called tips & sips! I have more pictures, but I need to get them downloaded from my friend!

After all the tips we took a wine break and jumped right into the topic of the night, the 5 Love Languages. The WIVES took a quiz, which gave them a preview of what their love language would be and how it can effect their communication within their marriage.  What I loved about this night was the dialogue. The women that came shared, laughed, taught and just had a great time!

Below are a few comments I got on the facebook event page as well as a summary of the 5 Love Languages!

"Had a great time... Ill be sure to bring a guest next time"


"Bernetta you truly have an awesome creative gift. Continue to yield to the Lord and keep up the good work."


"I Really enjoyed my self at the very first W.I.F.E Gathering. I enjoyed hearing everyones hot and spicy tips, I can not wait for the next one!!"


"I had a ball!!! Thank you sooo much for inviting me!!!"


"I had a great time and took away a lot of tips! I look forward to your next event"

Love Language Quiz
• I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do. Words of Affirmation


• I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me. Quality Time

• I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love. Receiving Gifts

• I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores. Acts of Service

• I feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for me through physical contact. Physical Touch

Explanation of Languages
Words of Affirmation - Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time - In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts - Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service - Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch - This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.