Wednesday, March 17, 2010

If you were Elin Woods (Tiger Woods Wife) would you stay?

Good Evening, Morning or Afternoon WIFES!

I went to a girls night out last month and they had a really cool ice breaker. We had to say our name, how long we have been married, how many children we have and if we were Elin would we stay after what Tiger did? The room was actually divided. Most of the women said they would leave but it was a few women that were standing by Tiger (if they were Elin!) That night I just stood up and did the intro and said I would leave real quick. For one, I was new at the meeting and didn't want to get all deep! And two, I was nervous. I know right! ME!

So now on MY BLOG I can stay what I wanted to say that night and welcome you all to do the same. Well I would leave or stay. You heard me right. I would leave or stay depending if I loved him or was just in it for the money. If I was just in the marriage for the money, I would stay. Mainly, because I would want to maintain my lifestyle. The fact that he cheated (with so many women) makes him look like the bad guy and you the victim and you actually have the upper hand (Like Kobe's wife!). He is also your children's father and they will still be able to have a family unit.

BUT if I married him for LOVE, I would divorce him. I would divorce because I would know that after cheating on me with 10 women (giving him the benefit of the doubt that some of those women were lying), that there is no way he could love me or I will say BE IN LOVE WITH ME. And because of the fact I married for love, if I stay I would be settling and end up resenting him, not trusting him, always checking up on him, wondering what and who he is thinking about, every time the phone rings wondering who that really is and basically unhappy. I would want to be with someone who loves me as much as I love him if not more.

My answer the night of the event was, I would leave. I would leave b/c I married for LOVE. Money comes and goes. Even if you are blessed to never have money problems, LOVE can keep you when LUST can not. If you married for money and never loved him, you will never have enough money to satisfy you. You will always want more to fill a void. Unless you have a boy toy of your own somewhere!

Chime in.....


Anonymous said...

I would stay and try to work it out. Initially, the trust will not be there, but if both individuals work together to build the trust then it is worth holding on to the marriage. Also, I can't remember, didn't he go for treatment for his addiction? If he did, that means he wanted help. Why kick him down if he is seeking help. If you really love him as you say you do, then try to work it out.

Also, before you found out about these women, how was he treating you? If he was treating how a husband should treat you then you should think twice about leaving. It seems if he was treating right, he may really love you. It was just his addiction had him out there. Did he really LOVE these women? Or he just wanted to satisfy his urged? You know married ladies, how it is when your husband want sex. I said sex not make love. Be real! You know they just want a release. Maybe that is what Tiger was doing and because he traveled plenty, he was exposed to many types of women. And you know the man need the Holy Spirit to tell them BACK OFF!

Now, if he was mistreating you and having all these women, then run the hell away. (lol)

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a great question! First, I would like to say that personally I think Tiger has issues that is deeper than what meets the "eye." And, he needs "real" help and fast. To answer the question, I would leave. For the simple fact, that if things are the way the media has portrayed it, if I was Elin and decided to stay I would be putting myself at risk....i.e. just the thought of him being with all of those women; not to mention porn stars...makes me want to yes, I would leave, but honestly I would want to end the marriage, but remain supportive of him through his process of healing!

Anonymous said...

I was there at that girls night out. That was a good ice breaker but after I said my answer and realized that I would get half of everything, I changed my answer (in my mind!) I would leave-- and as one lady who was also there put it, "Me and half of his money would leave." Money isn't really a factor here but it IS an incentive to either stay or go.

In order for a marriage to work, BOTH people have to be willing to put in the work required. I don't care why he did it. He had a choice and I'm sure he had access to some therapy IF he had decided to get some help BEFORE he was caught. (Only doing something about a "problem" once you're caught is something that doesn't come across as sincere to me!)

Sleeping around with one other person is dangerous so sleeping around with LOTS of other people is even MORE dangerous. I just wouldn't take the risk of my husband bringing home an STD (fatal or not) along with his smile. You should be able to trust your spouse to be the only person you can have sex with worry-free.

I would wish him well and pray for him constantly but I would leave. If over time we were able to work things out and get counseling alone and together then I would consider going back for us and for the children. God bless the Woods family and every family that's going through a similar situation!

AJ said...

Mr. Woods did not just have multiple affairs, he had an alternate lifestyle and, almost, another identity. This is not a case where he was looking outside the marriage because of problems within and wanted companionship to fill a void. Mr. Woods became power hungry and surreptitiously advanced upon women to fulfill his iniquitous and debauched fantasies of power through debase sexual exploits. Not excusing these shameful women, because they knew he was married, but his behavior is egregious, at best, in that he has now put his wife and children in a position of humiliation. According to some law books, Elin has a right to keep Mr. Woods away from the children for such an embarrassing and immoral showdown. If any custody issues come up, this would be the trump card.

If I were Elin, I would leave him. He unashamedly put Elin's life in danger every time he had unprotected sex with a woman of ill-repute. Not once did he seem to take thought of his family because he resorted to bribery. If Elin had left him before this all came to light, he would have spent more on these scandalous women than in alimony. So, did he really care about Elin? Absolutely not.

His disingenuous apology revealed a man who was humbled by his indescretions, not a man who was deeply sorry for the pain and embarrassment he caused his family (aka, The Sorry-I-Got-Caught Syndrome). His actions were worse than betrayal because he revealed that he wasn't who he claimed to be. That is scary for any wife -- to realize that the man standing in front of her is not the man she fell in love with.

wife K said...

I have not been in the know of the whole situation I know where have I've been under a rock,you can say that! but even all that has been in the news it is all only what they want you to know not always what it is all to know been in a situation with the news kinda no how they work and Im no star so what happen to vows at this time. I would stay and make his life a living HELL! until he wanted to leave or until things got better but would not let anyone else run me out if all is well with me and no hitting or violence going on between us and the love would be shot but it would take time to heal and repair our lives as a unit again.

The WIFE said...

@ Wife K - why would you stay only to make his life a living HELL? You might as well leave, b/c making his life a living hell would mean you are living in HELL. It's not worth it. Just leave.

The Wife

Anonymous said...

I would love to see you guys talk about how long should a woman/man hold on to a marriage that is not working. When is enough is enough???? I guess my question is "How long should a woman/man stay in an abusive marriage?" Should the person stay and keep praying that God change their spouse. I know you all are not professionals, but I would love to hear you all thoughts on the matter… The wonderrrrr

Southern Wifey said...

I would leave Tiger and get paid for leaving. Women take so much from men and the men rarely show remorse for their actions. When you have proof of an affair(s) like this I would say leave. The trust is gone immediately and I would not stay around him too long because of the emotional roller coaster you will be on because of his actions.