Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Do you have gender specific roles?

Hello, today I would like to ask the question do you and your husband have gender specific roles? Do you do certain things because you ARE the WIFE or because you are just better at it? Do you cut the grass, does your husband pay the bills? Did you discuss this or did it just happen? Does it even matter?

Monday, August 15, 2011


I actually received a call from a friend with this question. I love it. I love the fact the people want their questions posted and comments from other wives. That's exactly why this blog exist. So let's dig in.

In this situation the husband SNORES. Really snores. He snores so loud and so heavy that the WIFE actually gets up and sleeps on the couch in the middle of the night. She agrees that she sleeps better next to her hubby but, she can NOT sleep when he snores which is more often that not. If she nudges him, it wakes him up and disturbs his sleep (even though he says "Wake me up!") If she doesn't wake him up, she won't sleep. Now my husband snores sometimes, usually if he is super tired. He says I do the same (snore when I'm tired). It has never been that bad that I had to leave the room, and I won't hesitate to knocking him in the head a couple times and saying, "Hey! Hey!!! Turn over!"

They have been to the doctor and he does have condition. I can't quite remember the name she called it or what actually makes him snore but something is going on. She said that getting the snoring machine is really not an option due to financial reasons, but I suggested it might be worth making payments on such a machine. You have to sleep! You need a good night sleep to function. And who wants to have to sleep on the couch for the remainder of the marriage. I know I am exaggerating, but still. I have actually seen on TV talk shows couples that have separate bedrooms because the spouse snores, but is that something you really want to do? I think that in this age of technology, there is no way that something can't be done about his snoring. It's all about how bad do you want a good night sleep.

Ladies, feel free to weigh in!

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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

OMG! Did you see this movie? I was fortunate enough to see a pre-screening (which was probably the only way I would have seen it) and really enjoyed it. I have never watched any of the other Planet of the Apes and really had no desire too. What peaked my interest was Whoopi and Sherri on The View. They spoke so highly of it that I sought out free tickets and got them!

Now, I haven't seen any of the other movies but watching this movie didn't make it seemed like I needed to. I was happy about that. This movie kept my eyes glued to the screen the entire time. The monkey was so real. His actions, his gestures and most of all his personality. He scared me at times but at the same time, I felt sorry for him. And if you saw the movie, the last three words that were spoken at the end of the movie made all of us gasp! I don't want to give too much away so I will stop while I am ahead, but I say it's a must see.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

What does my husband need to do to keep me from cheating!

I know this is an interesting question, but last night at church we were having a forum discussion. Members put questions in a box and the mediators would pull and ask a question to the crowd. Anyone has an opportunity to answer. Well, one the questions last night was just the opposite from the title of this blog. It was “What does a WIFE need to do for her husband, so he does not cheat on her?” When I first heard this question, I really didn’t like it. Mainly because I don’t spend my days thinking, ‘How do I keep my man faithful?’ Then I thought what about the other way around. Women cheat too. And now-a-days if the husband is not acting right, women (not saying I would, I am just saying…) will go astray. Since the creation of Facebook and Twitter, statistics on women cheating are up 60%.

On this particular question (“What does a WIFE need to do for her husband, so he does not cheat on her?”) Most of the men answered. Mostly ALL of them said “Do not close up shop!” I think for women that is a no brainer, we know our man likes sex. But one gentleman made an all around great point. He said his wife needs to be everything and nothing! Everything, meaning she of course needs to fulfill his needs but be able to stimulate his mind. Be able to give him conversation and go along with the vision he sets for the house. Also he said “Never deny him sex!” which I don’t agree with, because if I don’t want to do it – I DON’T WANT TO DO IT! Then he said 'nothing'. Nothing meaning it depends on the maturity of the man, because a woman can be all that to you and a bag of chips but if the man is a dog, he is just a dog! It depends if the man is ready to be faithful and desires to be faithful to his wife. Statistics also show 1 out of 3 men cheat on their wives.

A lot of men were going back and forth and I just kept thinking, what about the women. What does my husband have to do to keep me from cheating? He has to be my EVERY-FREAKING-THING! He has to listen to me. Really listen to me. I want him to give me what he knows I need and my wants (within reason, he says I am spoiled). I want him to BLOW MY MIND more often than not (and you already know what I mean!). I want to be able to talk about everything with him, like politics, children topics, and even when I feel emotionally unstable. I want him to do what I ask him within a reasonable amount of time (and not have to ask him 50 million times and then end up doing it myself). I want him to be romantic without me nudging him to do that! (The men didn’t like that!) I want him to be hands on with the kids (he’s a great daddy, I must say!). I want him not to mind holding hands in public or showing affection. I want him to LOVE GOD and not afraid to show it. I want him to be strong and a leader in our house but not so strong that he is overbearing or controlling. I want him to be a motivator and my number one cheerleader. I want him to wash the dishes! LOL! I want him to have goals and let us (the family) see him working towards those goals. I want him to be “My Husband!” In return, I will do the same for him; at least I am trying to.

I also am not saying that if he doesn't do any or all of these things, I will go and cheat. I was just answering the question. Smile.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Plea for HELP! "My Husband has stopped......!"

Good morning ladies,

I hope you have been well. I received this email yesterday from a woman about her husband and how he has changed. They have only been married two years and she is already going through it. She told me it was fine to put the email on this blog in hopes that other married women will give their viewpoint or perspective. Please read this and feel free to share. You never know what another woman is going through and you never know how your story can help change theirs.

*You do not have to log in to comment. Just comment and you can put your name or anonymous*

I have been married 2 years.  I saw your blogs and I had to talk about my life with my husband.I don’t know what to do about him, though. He acts like he don’t even want to give me a say in anything we do, he  doesn’t respect me, like when I don’t want to be touched, he does it anyway, like at night, he always touches some place on me and I can’t sleep. And he seems to be agreeing with everyone else about me and seems to love his mother more than he loves me, and makes me feel like I’m just a bad wife. And also, I want to ask a question- when your husband is done with sex you tell him not to continue but he does, can that be considered rape?  I don’t want a divorce, but I’m frustrated and honestly needing something more from him than he’s giving me right now. I do want to hold on to him, and I have patience, but honestly he’s testing me and I am feeling ready to separate from him.  I love him, but he’s really testing me, and I find myself asking where did the sweet man I married go? What do I do to make it better? I want both of us to be happy.