Monday, May 31, 2010

How many times DO you forgive a cheating spouse

This video is Part 1! The title says it all and so does the video. How many times do you forgive? It depends on your marriage and the situation. There is no perfect answer. Be sure to watch Part II as well.

Did you contribute to the rise or fall of your marriage

This is part 11. The title says it all and so does the video.

Memorial Day Weekend! Whewww

I can not say I am glad this weekend is over because I did get some well needed rest. I feel like I am finally caught up on sleep. Now I just have to maintain this feeling of being just right.  My weekend started Thursday when my son graduated from Pre-K. I was asked to be the MC of the event. They do a full out graduation, with the cap and gown, processional and they cross the stage to get their diploma and award. They also showcase what they have learned over their time. My daughters class sang three songs too! It was so touching. I cried at the end. Friday evening, my husband and I had a business presentation and then spent the remaining part of the night playing with our children. I told them they could stay up all night because they couldn't stay up Thursday night. And you know children don't forget. Luckily for me, they got tired around midnight. As soon as they went to sleep, so did I!! Saturday was clean house day for me! I cleaned up and folded clothes until around 3pm. My friend who owns a shoe store in the mall was doing a Sex in the City theme and featuring another friends new clothing line so I wanted to go see the store, the line and support. I got my children dressed, then myself and my husband said we have one stop to make first. So we went to look at a car! You see on this past mothers day, he wanted to get me a car but it didn't work out that way because people weren't being honest and he didn't want to rush the find! And he has been looking for cars ever since, always going to test drive but he never says - "This is the one, or come see this one." But today was different. We all went to see the car and long story short - 2 hours later....."My hubby bought me a car!!" I am so thankful and happy about it. My BMW was on it's last leg. And I mean that literally. It hasn't went in reverse in almost 4-5 months! So don't ask me how I drive it that way!! (For the most part, my hubby drove it and I drove his truck) Not to mention the other issues. But my husband knew it was time and he got me a SUV, 3rd row, good mileage, much needed space and NO CAR NOTE! That's what I really like. I haven't had a car not since 2000 and I want to keep it that way!

So after we finalized the car deal, we had 30 minutes left to get to the mall. I was on that highway rolling! I walked in the store at 8:55pm! The mall closes at 9pm.  But the store was nice and the clothes were too cute. I bought alot of accessories. My hubby was like take it easy now, you just got a car! Sunday, I had to dance at church and for the first time in a long time I was really nervous. But the routine went iigght. After church my mom watched the children while the hubby and I went out with the Pastor and senior leaders of the church. Great meal and great conversation. After church, we picked up the children and let my son rent a movie. He picked Alvin and the Chipmunks again! My husband went fishing and we (the kids and I) took a 4 hour nap. Man that felt like heaven. We got up, ate and just enjoyed each other until around midnight again and this time we let the kids stay in our room! Not sure what I was thinking because my kids sleep wild. I was so thankful for a day off. Monday, we ran errands and went over my daughters God-parents house. We bbq'd, and even went fishing in their lake. My son caught a bigger fish then his daddy! Then we came home and start getting things back to normal. I wish I had Tuesday off too!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Oprah WIFE Show Audition is a REALITY!

Oprah WIFE Show Audition is a REALITY! *new topic under this post*
Hello everyone! Please take time out and vote for the WIFE show to become a reality! Click on >> VOTE <<>

The IN-LAWS or The WIFE?

Dear WIFE,
Who should the husband listen to? His momma or his main lady? What should I think of a man that is always running to his parents for advice or whatever? Has your husband ever had to choose between his parents and you?

A wife with in-law issues!

Dear Wife with In-law issues,
Oooooh this is a good one. Just looking at the topic alone, I would automatically say choose "The WIFE". I am not going to quote the bible right now, but you know it says "cleave and become one". I believe once you say I do, then your spouse becomes a part of you and should be number 1. Not his mama or your mama (or the daddy's), but your spouse. It may be hard to say, but choosing between a parent and a spouse shouldn't be a question or an option. It comes a point in the parents life, that they have to let go and let live. A good parent would not even try to come between their child and spouse, but speak when asked and let them deal with their own issues. And when I say speak when asked, I mean if she sees the couple having a slight argument in front of her - she shouldn't just bud in and give her two cents saying, "What I would do baby is this ...."

Speaking from a WIFES perspective, I have an o-k relationship with my in-laws. I would love love love for it to be better. I think it was on it's way to being real good but they moved to another state 1 month before we said, "I do." So now we actually see them a few times a year.  And when we do, we get along just fine but it's not all lovey dovey. I will say this about his parents, they do not get involved with our problems. His mother and father are still married and they respect our marriage. She helps when I ask (if I ask and that is few and far in between). I never see my husband running to his mother about me or our problems. I will say this - at times he did call them, we agreed on calling them before we made the call. And if we ever call - for us, it's a question about the kids, food, house stuff.... NEVER ABOUT OUR PERSONAL ARGUMENTS (again, unless we agree together to call them). And honestly, his mother has taken my sides quite a few times! But if it's an issue where your husband is always calling his mother, always.... ask him WHY? If my husband was always calling his mother (besides the regular check up and I love you calls) to ask advice and talking about US (you know what I mean), I would wonder what he really thinks of me, or us! Why can't we (meaning you all) just work it out? Why bring the parents into it?  As for my mother, she hardly knows anything personal that goes on in here! If she knows it, it's because she was over here when we were talking about it! But you have to know my mom to know why!  Hope this helps, and I hope some WIFES chime in. God's Favor.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

"I bring home more money! So I am the BOSS!"

**Real quick, thank you to all the people that voted and are continuing to vote for me on the Oprah OWN TV Show Audition! You can vote as much as you want! So come on WIFES, blow it up!
Click here WIFE'S AUDITION to see the audition and VOTE!  It's funny because Monday, everyone voted and no one visited the blog! That's fine because I had over 1100 on day 1! Thanks everyone for all the words of encouragement too*** Luv you wives!*** VOTE***VOTE***VOTE***

This post topic was given to me by a friend of the WIFE BLOG.  Here's the exact question: How many wives bring home more bacon than the husband? Do you bring up the fact that you are the bread winner in the home? Do you know if you husband feels less of a man because you carry majority of the financial load?

I liked this topic because many women deal with this as well. As for me, throughout our marriage, it has been times he has made more and then times I was bringing home the bacon! My husband actually pays the bills. I started out doing them when I got married and when I got pregnant he said he wanted to relieve me of stress and he started doing them and I haven't went back. He does a great job and paying things on time and managing the household finances.  NOW, when I was making more money than him, he still paid the bills! I didn't throw it in his face or keep reminding him when he got in arguements about what I bring in! He already knew! Shoot he paid the bills! In fact he was more critical of my paycheck, asking me about my hours and my tax deductions! I was like, are you pimping me!? LMBO!

In my household, I respect my husbands title and he is the head. I have no problem with that. So, with that being said - when I brought home more, I never thought I could now take over running the finances because it's my check paying the bills. Don't get me wrong, at times I resented him or got mad on the inside when HIS money wasn't coming in fast enough or at all. But again, he knew what we had in the bank so it wasn't a real need to hurt his feelings. Now, did my husband feel less of a man because of it....honestly I am not sure, he didn't discuss those feelings with me. I am sure he did though. My husband is a provider. That's just how he thinks, he wants to take care of us. He doesn't mind me making more, but that is not his desire. He desire is that I say home, take care of the kids, the house and do what I want to do. And if I want to have a side business fine, but he doesn't want to depend on my business. I love him for that. BUT right now..... I work! LOL

Monday, May 24, 2010

Children: Who are there role models and are the teachers left to raise our children?

Today's video blog is about our future! Our children. Who are you children's role models? Is it you? Is it a celebrity? Do you have control over that? I hope that I am my children's role model. I strive for that daily. I can't tell my children, "Make me your role model!" But by my actions in front of my children (and even when they are not around) will allow them to see me and how a mother, wife and just a good person should behave. I can't tell them who not to look up to, but I can have a major influence because I can control (for as long as I can) who they watch on TV, listen to on the radio, etc.

Part 2 (please watch) goes into children and the teachers. Why do some parents expect the teachers to teach our kids absolutely everything and impart absolutely nothing! Tisk, Tisk, Tisk! We welcome you to watch and comment!

Children PART 2: Is the teacher raising your child?.wmv

Part 2: Children, Teachers and Role Models Cont.

Friday, May 21, 2010

If your best friend's husband is best friends with your husband AND she told you she was cheating, would you tell your husband? (*And you tell your husband everything!)

This is a good question. This question was given at a girls night out meeting I went to and the conversation was a good one. Even though I might tell my hubby everything (based on the question) I would not tell him my best friend was cheating. Why? Because #1 it's not her business is not his business. #2 if she trusted me enough to confide that secret in me, why would I go running to tell him, whether he would tell his best friend or not. If she wanted my husband to know she could have told us together or mentioned it was ok to share.

We (her and I) can talk about why she feels the need to cheat and/or what she wants to do about it. But as her friend, her best friend, I will be there through the storm. I know for a fact that if the tables were turned, the man wouldn't tell me if his best friend was cheating and his best friends wife was my best friend. He would say the famous words men say, "I am not in that!" or "It didn't have anything to do with me!" So, there ya go... What would you do?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

MEN: What doesn't your wife know about you?

This post is especially for the men! One of our most successful post was when the WIFES had a chance to say things that their husbands had no idea what was going on with them. Today, I wanted to give the HUSBANDS a chance to do the same thing. More and more men are commenting on my page and I do like it because it is giving us a male perspective when we least expect it BUT "What doesn't your WIFE know about you?" What is something you really can't tell her or won't tell her or don't know how to tell her?!?

I will give you an example, one WIFE said, "My husband doesn't know I don't kiss him anymore because his breath has gotten unbearable! I even have to face away from his face to have sex with him!" WHOA CHARLIE!!! After the post, she began a discussion with her husband and was able to share it with her husband! I am not saying that if you post, you will end up sharing with your WIFE but ....... just tell us!
We wanna know!

*Remember, you can post ANONYMOUS!*

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The REBOUND CHICK & Just Wright Movie Review

The Rebound Chick!
Although I wanted to speak about the movie JUST WRIGHT, I also wanted interaction from my WIFES. So to tie the two together, have you ever been the rebound chick? Have you ever been someones plan B? Most times, you really don't know if you are the rebound chick unless you are lucky enough to know that the guy just got out of a relationship and even more lucky if you find out if he still has feelings for her or not. Nine times out of ten if he still has feelings for the ex & and he just got out of the relationship then you are the rebound. Sometimes men (and women too) don't always allow themselves to completely heal and instead jump right back into another relationship. And try to use the rebound to get over the ex. But it really doesn't work like that. You need to completely get over the other person or even though you are with the new person, you mind will still be on the ex! Especially when you realize the rebound isn't what you thought they would be. It's funny because from what I can tell I have never been someones rebound girl BUT I have had rebound friends. And as soon as whatever it was I thought I felt for that guy or really finally got over the other guy...I no longer had a need for the rebound guy! And that's what usually happens, the rebound gets dumps! But not always. Sometime you marry them and realize after the fact that you married the rebound and now it's too late! Just my thoughts.... on to the movie review.
I was fortunate enough to see this movie on May 6th at a special movie premiere held for the Mocha Moms with my mother. I honestly didn't know what to expect BUT I didn't expect high expectations based on the previews. It wasn't that I thought it was going to be a horrible movie but it just looked like a movie to save for a rental night. I am so glad I was soooooo wrong. This movie JUST WRIGHT was just perfect! I really enjoyed it and I called all my friends immediately after the movie and told them to please go out and support this movie on opening weekend because it really is a feel good movie. You will laugh, cry, get mad, and be sad all within the time frame of this movie. One thing it is not is JUST A CHICK FLICK! So if you get hesitation from your husband, boyfriend or whatever - tell him I said that. There story line has just as much in it for the men as the women.

It's a romantic comedy that stars Queen Latifah and Rap star Common. Common hurts himself playing basketball and Queen Latifah plays the therapist that is hired to get him back by the playoffs. But the twist comes in because Common is more interested in Paula Patton, the good friend (of the Queen) who lives with her rather than the Queen. And it's so good how it all comes together. I made the mistake last time by telling you too much about the movie, so this time I will just say.... I liked it and I recommend it for a good date night or even a girls night out!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Does your husband have PHYSICAL Requirements for you to ABIDE by?

Good Morning and Happy Friday Ladies!

Before we start the discussion, please check out CELEBRITY WIFE and DEAL of the DAY today! I posted my first story and deal! LOL And just like the blog, I will try to update it every other day.

Ok...Now to the topic. This topic was sent by a friend of the WIFE BLOG and she has a friend whose husband has physical requirements; weight, make-up, hair, etc. And although it seems like the WIFE does what he ask (requires) of her, it's alot of pressure to keep this up for him and has had difficulty discussing this with him. 

NOW NOW NOW! To me this is crazy! I was going to wait until next week to post this topic but I started talking to my BFF about it and we both started going off! LOL. I said, "My husband can tell me if he thinks I am getting a little to big or tell me he is really not a fan of my make up or weave (luckily I don't wear much of either!), etc. BUT he can not (or shall I say BETTER NOT) tell me that I have to maintain a certain weight to be with him. Or wear my hair this way and that's the way it is!" He can hit the road with that theory! In an essence that is a way to control me and I don't like that. You marry for better or worse and all that comes with it. As for the woman, what kind of life is that to live when you are always worrying about your appearance (meaning his approval literally) for your man? You are living a life of fear. What if you do gain 10 pounds? What if you do feel like going natural (no perm) and wearing your fro on a Saturday? What if you don't feel like putting on blush and foundation today? Then what? He's gonna flip out? He's gonna leave you? Why would you let yourself be controlled like that? I would sit down and have a serious talk with my husband. Let him know how you feel about his requirements and how it effects you in every way. Make him hear you and go from there.

I will say this one last thing, I don't have a perm and although my husband doesn't mind my natural hair - he doesn't like it in it's natural state. He prefers me to wear it straight. But guess what!! I do both. I wear it straight and I wear it natural because it's what's best for my hair. He will be alright! He is not going anywhere because my hair is nappy (uhem thick and curly), he didn't marry me because of my hair but because he loved me for me. And I am now singing, "I am not my hair...." Just like you aren't your weight, hair, makeup requirements!! Who are you? Or are you just what he wants you to be? Now I knew when I got married, the physical things that my husband liked and I do those things (when I can), because of course I want him to look at me and smile. BUT he doesn't make me do a doggone thing!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Does Your Hubby Get to Veto your clothing selection?

This question was actually given to me on Facebook by a gentleman! So we decided to talk about it. Honestly, my husband does get to veto my clothing choices. If I walk out the room and he feels it's too tight or not that flattering I will take it off. Mainly because I trust his judgement in that area, but he does not pick and choose my clothes either. He does not tell me what I can or can not wear but if he feels it's too much crossing the line, he will step in! LOL.

I hope you enjoy the video. We have a new guest on the panel. And she tells it like it is! And please comment on the video and if your husband gets to VETO what you wear day to day and bed!

Part 1 of 2 (be sure to watch part 2, controlling husband?!)

The Controlling Husband

Do you have a controlling husband? If so, why is he like that? Is it his own insecurity or is he hiding something. Does he check up on you all the time? Treating you like a LifeTime Movie Character? Just asking..... well, that's what we are talking about. Let us know what you think!

Part 2 or 2 (Be sure to watch Part 1, Can your husband veto your clothes!)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

How was your MOTHER'S DAY?

                                                       Hello Ladies! How was your Mother's Day? Tell us about it! My whole weekend was GREEEAAATT! It started on Thursday. Thursday evening, I was invited to the movie premiere of the new Queen Latifah and Common movie Just Wright. I will do a review this weekend. Since it hasn't come out yet, I don't want to give anything away, but it was sooooo good! Go out and support this movie! I was invited with the group Mocha Moms, the theatre was closed for us and I took my mother. We had a great time too. Friday, of course I went to get my hair done! Whoo-hooo love it. I got my NeNe (Atl Housewives) look on. Came home and cleaned-up because Saturday we were due to tape more WIFE episodes. Saturday morning the ladies of WIFE arrived. My hubby took the children out (I think to get my Mothers Day gift!:) while we were taping. We had a ball. I think we geled better this time and just kinda forgot the camera was there and a good time. Saturday afternoon once the ladies left, my hubby and I took the children over my mothers house and I surprised him and got tickets to the ATL Hawks Playoffs!! He was so surprised! We had a good time too. Even though we lost the game, and he was yelling at those HAWKS! LOL... But we had a good time at the game laughing and just being together. Sunday is church of course! Sunday morning, I was getting ready and had the door closed. My baby girl (who is 2) kept banging on the bathroom door saying, "Mommy, open the door for me!" I opened the door and she said, "Here Mommy!" It was a big bag with a card sticking out! I was like AWWWWWWWWW! Of course I opened the card from my kids, and another one from the hubby! And in the bag..... WOO WOO WOO! It was the banging bag (snake skin) and the shoes to match! I hugged my kids and hugged my hubby tight! I was like, "I LOVE IT!" and I really did. I sure did wear it to church too! After church, we met my mother and took her out to eat. At the restaurant, I handed her a card. She touched the person next to her to show her the card. She opened it and it had $2 in it. She looked at the person and they started laughing. I know she was embarrassed but she shouldn't have touched the person thinking it was more money in it than it was! She looked down and said awww thanks! Then I said I have another gift for you, so I pulled out a shabby pink purse out my bag. I said, "I have this cute bag for you and wasn't able to wrap it." She said, "Oh ok, thanks" So she
took the purse and felt something hard in it...and proceeded to open it.... It was 100 singles! She screamed to loud! The lady next to her then started smiling! She said, "Yall hit the lottery! Yall came into some money!" I said, "NO! All that money is not 20's!! It's one's!! LOL!! But we had a good day. We (the hubby and the kids) did some more things after dinner and came home and we all took a long nap! Whewwww, what a weekend. I need a day to recoup! But I can't.
What about you all. What did you do?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

What you wish you could say (if EGO wasn't an issue)?

This topic goes back to the male ego kinda. Many times we don't tell our husbands a lot of things we really think about them because it will hurt their little bitty feelings! So sometimes we pump them up or we just don't say a word. BUT today I want you to act like they are in front of you and tell them one thing about them that you really want to say BUT probably never will because you will make them fill this small (holding my hands together to make the shape of a little ball).

I know alot of you will post ANONYMOUS today, and that's cool. And it's understandable.
Go ahead and release!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Can you be married and still be attracted to other people?

Hello all,

This question actually came from a male co-worker. I told him about my blog and he said, "Here, I have a question for you! Can you be married and still be attracted to other people? I struggle with that." I didn't really answer the question then, but I told him I would post it.

Now of course we are not talking about being married and obsessing over Celebrities!! We all do that...most of us. But I am sure he was talking about regular everyday people. My answer is yes. Why? Because married doesn't mean blind. There are attractive people are over the place. As I am sitting here typing, it just hit me, "He said he struggles with that?" Hummmmmmmm. I don't struggle with it. If I see someone attractive, I look and keep it moving. But if there was a struggle (for me) that means that I am sitting there thinking about more than just, there goes an attractive man. I might be thinking he can get it! LOL! Or how can I get his attention or how can I say hello!... If I struggled with it. BUT I don't. So for him to tell me he kinda struggles with it, what does that mean for him. Is his being attracted to other women while being married - a struggle because he lets his mind go beyond being attracted to pretty lady to letting his mind go into fantasy land.

Like I said, every day ol' regular attractive men for me.... no problem, no biggie, look and keep it moving. But let Pooch Hall (Derwin from the Game) walk by my desk! Haaaaaaaaa just playing, wink wink!

What about you? Since you said I do, has anyone caught your eye?