Monday, February 22, 2010

Is your Husband your soulmate?

Do you believe that a soulmate actually exist? I really don't know. To me a soulmate is that person that YOU KNOW was made just for you. It's a connection that you have that no one can come in between and time apart doesn't make the love fade. You look at each other and know what the other is thinking, or finish each other sentences. It's also of feeling of being just RIGHT. When you are with that person, it's just right on all levels. You see each other. Not just see them across the room BUT YOU SEE each other. You can look into them. They see into you. It's a feeling like no other. It's your soulmate.

Like I said, I don't know if the word or actual idea of a soulmate exist. But I have heard it growing up and I will tell you I have experienced what I described above. So for me my soulmate does exist.
With that being said.... do you know who your soulmate is? Is it your husband? Do you believe in a soulmate? I think the worse feeling for a man or woman is to know who you are meant to be with or I won't say meant to be with but who you feel is your soulmate and they feel exactly the same BUT you can't be together because of circumstances and previous choices you might have made. DAMN!

So ladies, what do you think?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What doesn't HE know about you?

Today ladies just write. Just be free. You can sign in as anonymous too.
I was just thinking as I always do. What doesn't you husband know about you?
And what he doesn't know, do you want him to know or do you never want him to know?

Alright ladies go at it!

Monday, February 15, 2010

How do you handle a new marriage but kids from a previous relationship?

Hello WIFES,

I received this email from a WIFE and I would like to pose this question to you all? Please read the exact question below, and remember we are not experts but we are wives who have a common thread that binds
us all. So please share your stories as well as your opinions b/c you never know how you will bless another wife!

Question of the day:
When you are married but there are kids from previous relationship whether married or not how or why is it a problem between fathers even if they are not involevd in the childs life and you as the mother have no dealing with ether can you propose this as a panel question one day?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentines Weeked 2010!

Hello ladies!

It was a very good weekend I must say. I have no complaints at all. It's started Friday and ended today!

Thursday night I went to get my grandmother from Tennessee to come here to watch my children for the weekend. So Friday after my husband finished working, he came home to get me and our alone time had began! We went to the hotel and he had already checked in and took his bags. After we took my things to the room we went to the ballroom to meet our friends that were setting up for Saturday's event. We talked for a while and Earl helped with the sound set up. He left me alone for a while to run up stairs and get our coats because we were hungry and planned to get a bite to eat before relaxing the night away.

We ended up just grabbing a quick bite at Ruby Tuesday b/c Saturday was the fancy date night. This night was just us kicking it, talking, laughing and enjoying each other. And that is exactly what we did. After we came back to the hotel, we went in the lobby b/c he wanted to ask the cook something. I said, "I am ready to go to the room, can I have the key?" He gave me the key and I saw his reflection in the window as I was walking away. He was smiling. I just thought awww he is smiling as I am walking away.... it's a blessing b/c he could be shaking his head like LAAWWD!!

So I put the key into the door and I heard Marvin Gay singing, "Let's get it on!" I was like what the world is going on! So I walked inside and saw rose petals everywhere. On the bed, on the jacuzzi, on the floor, candles around the jacuzzi, and a basket on the night stand. I was frozen for about 5 minutes. Literally.

But all I could do was smile! Now I knew why he was smiling at me a few moments ago. Now I knew why he was taking so long getting my coat before we went to eat dinner. It was very nice. So I now hear a knock on the door. It was my husband. I opened the door and he had the biggest grin on his face, like he knew he was the man. And for that moment he was. I said, "Babe, I think I am in the wrong room!" We both started laughing. I gave him the biggest hug and said a sincere, "Thank you!" And we proceeded to enjoy our night! Smile.

Saturday, we got up and had an intimate breakfast in the dining room of the hotel. We then started getting ready for the day session we were attending with about 19 other married couples at this 1 day Valentine's Day Marriage Retreat. We then attended at wonderful session that was conducted the by heads of the Marriage Ministry at Vision For Souls Family Worship Center. We talked about marriage and then we broke off in two groups, women and men. When the women were alone, we talked about 8 principles that married women can do to strengthen their marriage. Very good information. I will share more as the days go by. But after the day session we had a 2 hour break and we came back at 6:30pm for dinner. At dinner we ate and played a game similar to the newlywed game but what's so funny is that the people that were married the longest did the best! Earl and I got out in the first round! LOL. I said, "Earl we need to go to therapy b/c you don't know me! LOL". We both cracked up. What was the funniest moment of the night is when women had to answer the question, "What is the phrase your hubby uses when he wants some?" OMGoodness, we heard some crazy stuff! One lady said her hubby's phrase is, "Girl, gimme some of that booty!" Another one, "You know Big Daddy need love!", the one that took the cake was when a girl said her husband says, "Are you ready for the Knight Rider!" LOLLLLLLLLLLL OMG that was sooo funny!

So after all that it was time to hug our friends, take pictures and Earl and I to retire to our room. Let's just say it was a great night for the both of us. The next morning, we (the couples) all came downstairs and ate breakfast together and again got to know each other on a whole different level. After we checked out, Earl and I went to see The Book of Eli with our good friends and then we headed home. Oh yeah, we stopped at Kohls and did some shopping and got a bite to eat, then we headed home. Our children were so happy to see us! And we were just as happy to see them. It felt good to be home, but it felt good to be home after coming off a great weekend. We agreed not to let this weekend be just this weekend. But to let the emotions, laughs and etc., that were felt to be expressed all the time. So .... I look forward to tomorrow as his WIFE.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

What are you getting your hubby for Valentines Day?

Good morning WIFE's!

How are you this awesome Thursday morning? I am doing well. The hubby and children are off to work and school. I am about to leave for work after I talk with you all. My Valentine weekend actually starts tomorrow. After I work for a few hours today I am heading to Tennessee to pick up my grandmother and bring her back to watch my children for me. Saturday afternoon and evening we are spending that time with about 18 married couples at our church for a one night away from home Valentines Married Retreat! But my husband wanted some extra time and got us an extra night so we are staying Friday and Saturday. I asked him why did he book an extra night? He said because he just wanted some extra alone time with me and wants to really invest in our marriage. I can't be mad at him for that.

So I am looking forward to tomorrow b/c the children will have the best babysitter and I will have peace while I am away from home. I will be able to relax with the hubby and enjoy our friends. Now as for the gift giving. We have never been real big V-day gift givers, but for some reason this year I want a nice necklace. Maybe it's all those Kay Jewelers commericals that are getting to me!"Every kiss begins with Kay!" (singing!) But I haven't mentioned it to him, so I doubt I get that. Maybe the extra night is my gift.

I really haven't thought about a gift honestly, but now that I am writing this I am thinking about it.
Any suggestions ladies? Any Ideas? Cost effective!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

When is it ok to call the IN-LAWS on your Hubby?

OMG ... me and my hubby got into it big time today! Mainly because we went to a Superbowl party last night, "WHO DAT!", I had to throw that in there. But when we left the party, we brought home fried chicken, red beans & rice made with sausage for the children to have for dinner the next day. Well, when I woke up I realized I didn't put the food in the refrigerator. I was mad, but hey in my mind the food is no good. SO my husband puts it in the refrigerator (around 8:30am) and later that afternoon tells me that he plans on giving it the kids tonight! OH NO HE IS NOT! I had to put my foot down. I personally don't think it's safe. Now we are on the phone so he can't see my neck rolling and hands waving but believe me I am letting him know with the tone of my voice if he tries to feed the kids that food he is going to have a battle with me.

He feels it's safe! I don't. And because I don't they are not eating it. His argument is it's safe and just because I feel a certain way doesn't make it a fact - they are his kids too and if he wants to feed them that food that was left out, they will be ok! So we are going back and forth. I am yelling, he is yelling...... back and forth, back and forth. Finally I say, "If you think it's good you eat it then!" We get off the phone and I CALL HIS MOMMA! Now I might be wrong for that, what do yall think? I needed support and besides our Pastor (LOL) he will not listen to anyone but his MOMMA! So I told her what happened and she agreed with me. And even though she said the chicken might be fine (WTW!), she said if I don't have peace about it, don't let the kids eat it. And if we can't agree, just don't let the kids eat it! SO.... after all that................ The kids ate Captin D's! I won that battle! Smiling!

So I ask, "When is it okay to call in the IN-LAWS?"

Monday, February 8, 2010

If you don't work, how should you divide the money? Should you get any?

** WIFE's instead of signing in Anonymous, please put WIFE B, or whatever your letter is b/c it's a good way for someone to speak back to you when referencing your point!

Ok.... I got a good question today. How do you divide the money up if you don't work? Well, I do work and we still have an issue with the money thannng! Me and my husband have one checking account where all our main income checks go. I have a checking account that I had before we were married and he was never added to it. He opened another checking account a few years ago when he started a new business. I have a side business and I usually put all that money in there unless the household needs it. And he has an alternate business and usually does the same thing. Sooo right now let's not count the other two checking accounts. Like I said, our main money goes in our joint account. He actually pays the bills too, so he sees what goes in and goes out. In his mind, our household comes first (meaning all household bills need to be paid to keep this house current and in order) and everything else is extra. If we want to spend $50 or less while we are out - out of the joint checking, we usually don't call the other.... but if we are making a bigger purchase we usually like to talk to make sure it's ok with the other. But we don't have allowances. He doesn't get a certain amount of his check to keep and neither do I. It all goes into the joint and after bills are paid, we can discuss what outside stuff we want to do.

Now if I was in a position that I didn't work, I still don't think he should give me an allowance. I am your WIFE. Your equal. I am taking care of the household, which I might add is a 24 hour job and you are working outside of the home bringing home money so I can run this household with less stress. I think it is something that should be discussed because every relationship and how they handle money is so different BUT I don't ever think because a woman that might not work be seen as a lesser contributor to the household because of that reason.

NOW as for the other checking account, my husband JUST TOLD ME last week that everything I do on my side business (Ardyss: Lose 2 to 3 dress sizes in 10 minutes with the BODY MAGIC!, and I freelance graphic design, and I have a maternity line of shirts with a partner, Belly Etiquette) He said I can keep all that money for myself .... BUT he told me that to keep me from dipping in our joint checking account and making us go over budget ALL THE TIME.

So that might be a thought. Get yourself a side hustle and make you some extra money and you won't have to argue with the hubby about an allowance!

SO LADIES.... I ask the question, "If you are a stay at home MOM or WIFE how do you divide the money? Should you get an allowance or are you still treated equal in the family financial decision making?"

Weekend in Review! And free conversation!

This weekend was a really good weekend I must say. Friday night my husband and 2 year old daughter went to their first Father and Daughter dance. They had a really good time. That little girl is his princess. She even walks around the house, "I'm your princess Daddy?" He says, "Yes you are my princess baby!" So I just spent the evening with my son and we invited one of his friends over to eat pizza, watch movies, and make shakes. My son enjoyed it. Saturday, I had to work but after work I went into a store trying to buy one white simple fitted long sleeve shirt! I ended up getting 2 dresses, 2 pair of shoes, the white shirt and a purple shirt! BUT I only paid $32 for all of that! Can you say I LOVE A DEAL!

Then I spend the rest of the evening with my children, and cleaning up. Oh, I did design a quick flyer for a friend when the kids went to bed.

I also watched the movie FAME. I was alittle disappointed in it. I thought it would be more to the story line. But I was still dancing around the house when it was done. I coulda been a dancer ya know! LOL... For real.

Sunday was the SUPER BOWL! It was a good day. We had an awesome church service, came home ate lunch and we all took our Sunday nap. Then off to a great friends house to watch The Saints vs. Colts. Honestly, I didn't have a team to win. I didn't know alot about either team. I just wanted to eat some good food and be around friends. My friend who was giving the party is from New Orleans so we had some really good food for the party! New Orleans style baby! But the Saints pulled it out and that house was going crazy! They were all running around, screaming, giving each other the high five!! I was sitting on the couch.... eating! LOL We finally made it home and put our children in the bed and retired to sleep ourselves. A full weekend Whewwwwwwwwww! Honestly I am not glad it's over. But it is.... so happy Monday to ya!

Anything specific you all want to talk about today?

Friday, February 5, 2010

What turns a MARRIED WOMAN ON?

I have had this talk over and over with my sister in law!!!!

What turns a married woman on is different than a single woman. In my opininon.
I say that b/c for a wife who husband doesn't do everything she desires... wellllll let her come
home one day and the house is spotless. ALLLLLL the dishes are washed, floor is swept, he
even has candles lit! And guess what he folded the clothes! That turns a married woman on!
Why because we want (or let me speak for me!) I want my hubby to take the load off me sometimes.
When you make my load lighter.... I am free to do other things FOR YOU hint hint LOL!
If I come home and deal with two young children, feed them, play with them (but he does help btw)
cook, clean up (he only cleans up when HE cooks, if I cook he doesn't clean up! Ain't that 'bout a blip!)
fold clothes, do whatever we dooooo. We are not thinking about satisfying you! (I ain't!!! I know it's bad grammer, but I am just saying). I am thinking about laying my body down and going to bed. But let me be washing a dish and he comes behind me and grabs the dish and say "Baby go get you a bath and wait for me, I got it!!" And it was the first dish too! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That would make me want to do what he wants me to do..

SO that makes me ask the question: What turns you on as a married woman?

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Do you Submit to your husband? Is it an easy thing to do?

Today is going to be a great day for me! I am speaking miracles, signs and wonders!
My Pastor prayed last night and I receive it. How are you ladies doing today?

As a mother and a wife I get soooo tired sometimes. Just being a mother (a good one) can be rewarding but soooo draining too. Not to mention the WIFE part. The cooking, cleaning, taking care of HIS needs and still trying to be an individual person. I feel I am stretched b/c he expects me to do all that BUT yet he still supports me as I do my other business ventures. Cooking, Cleaning....etc. has to be done huh! LOL.. And since we don't have a housekeeper... I guess it's me! Just playing. I don't mind taking care of my household, but sometimes it's like the WIFE needs a WIFE just to help her out with her duties!  So that brings me to the question of the day: Do you believe in submitting to your husband like the BIBLE says? Or do you both not give into that?

Personally... when I first got married I was all gun ho for submitting! Well, let me say before I got married!
I was the first one to tell him, "I am going to submit!" I was excited about it. Like I said, my church made it seem like marriage was the best thing going. BUT BUT BUT... when I said I do, it was a whole different thing. When we moved into our home a week after we came back from the honey moon... he took me in the bed room and closet and said, "This is where I like my socks, my underwear here... my shirts should be folded like this... and please hang my shirts here!" And he was SO SERIOUS! I was frozen with disbelief, because we didn't talk about me doing all this while we were dating or engaged! I was MAD AS H@(#!(!!! because I just didn't expect him to come at me like that! So you can probably tell I lost the desire to submit very early in the relationship! But 6 1/2 years later....... guess what.. His socks, underwear, clothes are right where he told me to put them! I gave in. :(

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

QOTD: Dealing with the in-laws; especially the ones you can't stand.

Good Morning!
I hope your night went well. Well you read the question of the day? I can stay I don't have any real problems with my inlaws.
The only problem I do have is that we don't live closer. We are in Georiga and they are in Florida. We have children and their other grandchildren are near them and they get them often. I just knew if they lived here it would be the same case. Oh yeah, the other main issue I have is that we has daughter in law and parents in law are just not close. And when me and my hubby started dating his parents lived here but moved the year we got married. I believe me and his mother were on our way to getting there but then they moved and the relationship really never flourished. I have been married to him for 6 1/2 years and have never been invited to call either one of his parent Mom or Dad. I still call them Mr. so and so... Mrs. so and so... I wish that was different.
But I have great inlaws. I really do. They love their children and will do anything for them. They love their grandchildren too.
I wish they lived closer b/c I know my hubbby misses his parents but one day.
Ok ladies............. your turn!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Whewwww what a first day!

I want to thank everyone that checked out the blog on day one! I had about 50 views! 6 comments! LOL
But we are only going up from here. Today was a good married day for me. I started about being down just because life sometimes just makes you feel that way. Even this morning I was quick with the attitude towards my husband. And let me just say.... this is a website for married women to let go but I must tell you I do have a good husband. He has intergrity, truly truly loves God, his church, his children and has a real vision for his family. One thing I love about him is that he is not a fake Christian. He is the same way at church that he is at home. And when no one is around (just me and him), he still does the right thing. I admire that about him.
The children adore adore adore their daddy. The chose him over me whenever we both are in the room! LOL. He also brings the money home! Meaning when he gets paid, it's always family first. He has the spirit of a good provider. Now with all that being said............. he still does stuff that drive me up a freaking wall sometimes!!!!!!!

But today wasn't one of those days. He could tell something was going on with me on the inside this morning and asked me if I had time to pray with him. After about 45 minutes of working, I went in the living room and told him I was ready to pray. I needed that b/c he could have just said a prayer for me, or he could have just left me alone and let me have my time. But he didn't do that. Then later tonight we had another talk.... about money! WHEW! I have a couple of things I do on the side and one of them is an independant distributor of Ardyss Intl (Body Magic - Lose 2 to 3 dress sizes in 10 minutes) and we had an agreement that I would keep 50% of my profits and give the other 50% to the household. Well, he ask me tonight would I like to keep all my profit! WHAT!! 100% PROFIT IN MY POCKET! He takes care of the bills, and says I am always going over the budget and if I just use Ardyss Money as my play money than that won't happen. I can see his point. But I have alot of things going on for 2010 and that really motivated me to work even harder at my side business! But seriously, that was nice of him to do that. I did ask him what is the catch though! I said WHY? Are you about to come into some money that I can't have? He just laughed and said, "No!"

Alright ladies, I am new to this blog thing. I really hope more of you will comment and not just read. This whole thing was created for Married Women to interact! So what's going on WIFE's? (I know it should be wives, but I am trying to add my WIFE creatively in there! hahaa!) Hey what do you think about signing your names WIFE B or WIFE Julie after you post?

Well I got an email from a WIFE today who had some great suggestions and questions for us to answer! Really good topics! Remember to email questions to and if you would like to be a guest blogger for that day, email me too!

Monday, February 1, 2010


Welcome to a blog site dedicated to married women. Now this site is not for a certain type of married woman but every type of married woman. The site is designed to be an outlet. This is a site where you can be yourself or write your post anonymously. The objective is that you write!

Write about your experiences, good and bad. Write your opinion (some may agree and some may not), write about your desires, goals, dreams and even setbacks, let downs, and lonely nights (even though you are married!). Just write.

My experience as a married woman is what has lead me to write this blog. Because being married for 7 years (this September) has allowed me to experience some things. Good and bad. Also, I realize being a married woman is sometimes the loneliest position to have. Why? Because we as married women feel we can't talk to anyone because we feel we are the only one going through. But if the truth be told, alot of us are going through the same thing.

Do we all know each other? No. But we are all married and have that as a common thread. Let us grow together, over come together and learn from one another. I welcome you to W.I.F.E because I have asked myself even in year 1 "WHY ISN'T FOREVER EASY?"

I personally have a strong opinion about Why isn't is easy for me? But those thoughts will come out over time. Each day we will have a topic of day concerning many issues married women deal with. I pray you will check this site daily and write in. Also, if you have a question of the day suggestion please email me at

Remember I am not an expert on the subject but I am a married woman who is living this married life! WHEWWWWWWWW! And I am expressing my opinion. Express yours!

Our First Question of the day!!!!!! (Let's get started ladies!)
QOTD 2/2/10 Why did you get married? Was it because you wanted to marry your husband or you just wanted to be married?