Wednesday, September 14, 2011

DAMN! I have to give up some more STUFF???!!!!!

Do you find yourself sacrificing more than your husband since you got married? What types of things do you or have you given up in order to make the marriage work? Have you given your money towards your husband’s dreams? Have you sacrificed your credit? Have you put your dreams on hold? How did that work out for you?

I was at a wedding a few weeks ago and the Minister said to the WIFE-TO-BE (as he was marrying the couple), "...Help your husband make his dreams come true..." I was taken aback and even caught a small attitude for a moment. I made a face and even did a little smirk over at my own husband! The minister didn't tell the husband to be to 'help make his wife's dreams come true!’ Or even tell the wife to make sure you make your own dreams come true TOO! Or does that not matter when you get married? Is it all about the husband’s vision and dreams? And should your dreams, goals and vision be tied into his? And if yours are different that means putting yours on the back burner so his can be manifested first? Man, this is heavy. I know we are created to be our husband's helpmate BUT ........... (right here I have gotten speechless...) I will end this blogpost for today.

Do you TALK DIRTY? Here are some tips!

Talking dirty, if not your usual cup of tea, can seem a bit intimidating or trashy. What do I say? How do I say it? Will I sound silly? And yes, its a bit trashy and for lack of a better word. Lets substitute "trashy" with SPICY! Change your mindset and challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone for a minute. You never know, it may be just the spark needed to light a fire in your relationship.
You can start with a simple text message about how "hot" your spouse looks today. Lean in or come up from behind and extend an invitation to engaged in something naughty softly in your spouses ear...Thoughts? Still feel embarrassed or is that not SPICY enough?With these tips I discovered from Dr. Laura, you can shake your nerves and say what you want, the way YOU want to say it. Check this out!

- The first is to take a paragraph from a sexy story. Lift a passage from your favorite Danielle Steel, or do an online search for "erotica." Type up the text, then go through it and delete key words. If you ever played Mad Libs as a kid, you know how it works: Nouns, adjectives, verbs, and adverbs are replaced by your partner with no sense of the story's real context. Only this time, the vocabulary's a bit more grown-up! I never played "Mad Libs" but I do like the idea of searching sexy or erotic love stories for ideas!

- The other way is to take the driest writing and sex it up with a "naughty words only" rule. Try a news story from today's headlines, or clip an ad from a magazine. It's fun to see how sexy you can get about fabric softener! This may help you shake some nerves. Its simple and you can play with some dirty vocabulary and incorporate it into daily conversation. For example, "Hey babe. Did you hear about the news story on high frutose corn syrup? Not sure what the fuss is about, but I like the thought of something sweet and sticky. What you about you?" I don't know...just trying to help. Not too bad for off the top if you ask me! LOL

- If games aren't your thing, you can still spice up your connection with the power of the written word. Read erotica out loud in the bedroom before you hit the sack (think options such as Best Sex Writing 2010by Rachel Kramer Bussel, Afternoon Delight: Erotica For Couplesby Alison Tyler, Flipside Erotica presents: Both Sides of the Story Vol. 1 by Darren Michaels, and Bitten: Dark Erotic Stories by Susie Bright) As you read the stories, you will likely come up with a whole host of ideas to keep you busy well into the night. If you decide to forgo the dirty talk, maybe a kinky text or email? You can use these tips for inspiration. Or if you are a "I can show better than I can tell you type", this tip can still help get YOU in the mood for a SPICY night!

- Another idea is to write you partner a x-rated love note. If you are like most couples, you have likely exchanged love letters in this past, but this note will be a completely different animal. Be graphic and bold, and spell out every little thing you want to do your partner and vice versa. If you are seeking inspiration, turn to written erotica or check out a classic collection of poetry by authors such poets such as Robert Herrick, C. P. Cavafy, Walt Whitman, and e.e cummings. I know my husband would respond well to a sexy love letter. Leave it on his pillow. Mix it in to his pile of bills. Add a few naughty items to his "Honey Do List" on the fridge. (If it's private. Don't want the kids or company to see it I suppose.)
On "Talking Dirty"

Hearing your partner’s voice whispering his most intimate highly erotic, and doing the same for him will feel incredibly naughty and empowering. Feeling shy? Start slow by simply moaning or cooing your approval whenever he strokes or touches you in just the right way. Then, move forward to whispering your pleasure by saying “That feels so good” or “I love it when you touch me like that.” After you break those barriers (and see how much your partner enjoys it), you will feel bold enough to start being more graphic and uninhibited.
After you master dirty talk, try being more vocal about your hidden fantasies and desires. Whisper your secret fantasies to your partner over a intimate, candlelit dinner, and seduce him with your inner desires as you lay cuddling in bed. Whether you turn to mad libs, erotica, poetry, or the spoken word, just make sure to give voice your desires and harness the sexy power of words.
Dr. Laura Berman is a world renowned sex and relationship expert who is considered a thought leader and innovator in her field. As a sex educator, researcher and therapist for more than 20 years, she has helped countless couples build stronger relationships, improve their sex lives, and achieve a heightened level of intimacy. Her new television show, In The Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman, is featured on OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network, at 10 pm Monday evenings. She is also the Host of The Dr. Laura Berman Show on Oprah Radio on XM 111 and Sirius 204 at 5 PM EST.
This article was taken from Spicy Wifey Blog. I thought it was a good topic and wanted to share!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Have you ever "LOST" your Mojo? (Updated)

I am TIRED. Have you ever been TIRED as a mother? I am NOT saying, tired of being a mom (even though it's possible to feel like that too!), but right now I am asking, "Have you ever been just TIRED because of all the things that come along with being the responsible MOTHER (& wife)?"

What did you do to get your mojo back? How long did you say in that slump? Could your kids tell? Could your husband tell? What would you do when no one was around? Lately my energy level is not there. I am pooped. I still go where I need to go and take care of my responsibilities, but after that I am singing the praises of the bed or the couch. I just want to sit and look at the wall. I know that is crazy to say, but I either need a VACATION or a BREAK. I started back taking my vitamins, not sure if that is going to make a difference. Have you ever felt just drained?

Update: I took a break from LIFE September - December. Meaning, I didn't do any outside activites (except when I got the call to be an extra on Tyler Perry's House of Payne & BET's The Game!! Couldn't miss that!) But anything else, NO! I went to work, came home, did the WIFE & MOM thing. And once the kids were off to bed. I was on the couch relaxing! All my activities, I put on hold. I even closed my facebook account! I wanted to revamp! Revive myself. And honestly in January, I wasn't ready to come back to LIFE (so to speak) but I know I needed to because I have responsibilities outside of being a wife & mother. I do feel so much better even though, I was just telling my husband I am still tired. I am not even doing as much as I was but I already want a break. I think it's because working a FT job & being a MOM (&WIFE) is already time consuming - but mix in ALL THE EXTRAS - it's alot. I think it takes good time management and the discipline to say NO!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Do you look older than your husband?

My husband and I met another couple and chit chatted for a while. My husband had never met either person before. When we left he asked how old were they. I told him I didn't know. Well, he then says "She looks older than him!" I agreed. I said it seems that they have been together for a while because they have two children but I am not sure if she is older or it just looks that way. It got me to looking older than your husband a bad thing? We didn't talk anymore about it, but just the fact he asked me that made me wonder. Do you want your wife to look younger than you? Do you want to look younger than your husband? I think I kinda do (want to look younger). No one has ever told me I look older than my husband, but I think I might feel some kinda way about that, especially since I am 2 years younger than him. I am not saying that it's a bad thing to look older than your man, especially since we are in an age where more older women are dating & marrying younger men. I am just asking, would it bother you if someone made that comment?