Monday, November 29, 2010

Your Husband or a Vibrator?!?!?!

Whoa! This subject came about because I went to my first Pure Romance party a week ago and I learned some new things! Pure romance is like the Mary Kay of sexual toys. The lady had creams, lotions, potions and vibrators galore! I might have literally seen one or two vibrators in person in my life (I know, lame right!) but that night I got a college degree in sexual extras!


One of my BFF's (who is going through a divorce) threw the party and I traveled there (it was in Alabama) with my other bff (who is single) and another good friend (who is married). It was about 20 women there and I am not sure the married ratio versus single ratio but I do know the women that were talking the loudest were single! They were sharing their stories, experiences, and how to use this, that and everything! I was actually kind of shocked. It seems the married women were kind of reserved. Don't get me wrong, we were laughing and giggling and talking among ourselves but it just got me wondering, "Do married women use vibrators?" And I am asking do you use them alone?

Again, I have my 8 other EBFF's (email best friends forever) that I talk to 7 days a week. By the way, 3 of these girls were at this Pure Romance party! Out of the 9 of us that email 3 are married, one is engaged. So I asked them, "Do you use vibrators?" The single girls all had one! A married friend had one but hasn't used it in years. Soooooooooooo, it got me thinking again. Do married women really use or need a vibrator when they have a man in their bed every night? Per my friends (married and single) that have used them, the answer is YES! They told me that a man will never make you reach the point that silver bullet will. My mouth dropped. Of course I was curious!

While writing this blog, I went online and did a search on Married Women and Vibrators and found this question on a different website and it was exactly what I was thinking, "Do you think these toys can substitute your husband? Why do you use them? And would it be possible that woman will get addicted to the toy and enjoy it more than her husband?"

I read so many different responses to that question. Some responses were from men who didn't want their wives using it because they felt they (the husband) couldn't satisfy her. Other men used it with their wives. Other men said their wives were using and lying about it! That was funny. The married women responded with mixed responses as well. Some women said they needed it to get turn them on before having sex with their husbands. Others said it's not a substitute for their husband but just an additional form a satisfaction. It seems quite a few women had them but didn't use them around their husband but they knew they had one. I guess what it boils down to is what works for you, works for you. It's just all so interesting. What do you think?






52 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think it is nice if your hubby and you can enjoy using the sex toys together it shows openness and closeness. Also I feel that it is ok to use as well I'm married and when he won't give it up to me then I use it like if it has been a couple of days to a week with none then I do however he does not approve of it and wishes that I don't but he is aware that I have it since I was single also tries to hide it to keep me from it at times. But wishes he would take part in it with me.

Anonymous said...

I think EVERY woman should have one (or more). My husband travels a lot for work so for me it is necessary but I would have them regardless. As women, we need to be in tune with our bodies and vibrators are a great way to explore them. He knows that I have them. In fact, he has bought a few of them for me on his own. And we use them together as well. It is true that they give you amazing orgasms but they do not take the place of my husband. They can't kiss you or caress you or hold you afterwards so I will never choose it over him (unless we are fighting and I don't want to be bothered with him. If you don't have one, get one as soon as you can. You won't regret it!

Anonymous said...

This has always been an interesting topic of discussion. Some use them to enhance their experience, some use them in place of a partner and unfortunately some use them to assist where their partner may be lacking in demension.

I think women in the church are made to feel ashamed and guilty where vibrators are concerned because of the views of "masturbation/self fulfillment" by the church body.

For those that are married, this would be a moot point; so if it is something that you and your spouse agree on, then enjoy having a good healthy sex life.

sex toys said...

oh.. of course my husband =)) But sometimes vibrators work when he's away for some works (lol)

smiling girl said...

Well I really want to try one! I need to try one! Love the husband and all but errrummmmmm..... just need to try one.

RyansWifey said...

My husband has a pretty low libido/diabetes. I am only 30 years old, I am reaching my sexual prime and I want it ALL THE TIME. So I use mine just about every day. While he is at work. That way if I get lucky at bed time GREAT but if he's not in the mood, I am not desperate or angry or sexually frustrated. He also likes to use it on me if we have lots of time and are feeling naughty. Lol. But I would MUCH rather feel him than my toy. I think someone else said this, but a vibrator doesn't kiss me or touch me. But it does do the job. Lol.

RyansWifey said...

I might add that if you DO use it alone and ur hubbs feels left out, take a pic of yourself using it on yourself and email it to him. I bet he'd not complain anymore ;)
I do it sometimes. I'm guaranteed to get lucky that night!!! Lol

Anonymous said...

Well it's always nice to bring excitment to the bedroom. My husband and I love the toys ALOT. Smiling girl U GOTS TO GET YOU ONE FOR REAL. I have them yes I said them LOL we don't pull them out all the time but Majority of the time. You have to keep the bedroom HOT you don't want it to ever go COLD

Mrs. BoB said...

BoB (Battery Operated Boyfriend) will never be able to replace your spouse...He can't talk, hug, kiss or buy you anything...however he can give you the BEST (yes I said it and I stand by it) Orgasm you've ever had...Granted men are GREAT...But you yourself are more intune with what you like and how you like it...I've tried it alone and with my spouse...I'd rather be alone...my spouse is oooookkkkk with it, but you can tell he's like "you don't scream for me like that" LOL...but anyway...get you a Bob...I promise it will be one of the BEST DECISIONS that you've ever made...I think it's time for my upgrade!!! Smooches

Anonymous said...

This disgusts me. First off, if your husband does not approve of you having one, then it is very wrong to do so. Second, if you are turning him down because you dont have any desire left and are satisfied with letting plastic be your utmost pleasure giver, this is wrong too. What if a man had a blowjob machine and turned you down because you didnt compare to it...of course he would come cuddle with you afterward...this is sickening! BEWARE!

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Anonymous said...

My wife surprised my with sex toys for an aneversary present. I did not like it. I tried to wrap my head around it and used them with her. It was horrible for me but great for her. I felt like I wad loosing my conection with my wife and started seeing other women. It was amazing for me like I am sure the vibrator was amazing for my wife. I surprised her with my gift to myself and she was less than pleased. I asked her to be open minded about the situation like I was when she brought home the sex toys. She was not. This has caused several problems and issues in the following months. She has even threatened divorce. She says she will get rid of the toys but does not. I will not stop seeing other women unless she does. Be careful of what you do to your spouse they may like to be something other than a big cuddly teady bear that can't be their sexual fulfilment. I don't like vibrators or want to be with women who do.

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Anonymous said...

it depends on how good the sex is with your husband as to how much you would need to use a vibrator. My husband has no feeling for a womans needs in bed - he just lies there and wants me to do all the work like its a privilege. He doesnt touch me unless i force his hand. I am dry and unarroused so have to use a lot of lubricant or it feels like a rape. He is a real dud so of course i need a vibrator its the only way i get pleasure and orgasm

Anonymous said...

Hello to all, my wife ask me to take her to an adult store the other night. She hear from her friend that it was fun to go look around.
So we went she almost backed out when we drove in, but as we did a guy and girl walk out so she went in.

well, the store was full of women she felt good about that. A sales person came over to us, she was about 20 and asked us what we were looking for. We were not sure so she spent about an hour with us going over the store.

We got a G-spot vibe not knowing what were buying, got some lube and some other small items..

The first night we used it on her she was out of her mind, I was stimulating her clit and her g-spot at the same time while licking her tits.
I cannot tell you how exciting it was to see her pumping the vibe and my fingers. She was out of control for quite some time..

She loved it soooo much but says that she likes that I am the one doing it to her. She really gets off with it.. Then she is so turned on that she want me to get off.

last night she took the vibe held my cock up and put the vibe to it and just waited for cum to shoot out as I was told to watch. Wow best thing we ever bought... it is nice to have your partner please you

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Anonymous said...

If its cool with both then use it together.. but that sneaking around and using it & he doesn't want u too is not cool. u could have just married a man that was ok with it instead of forcing one to be. we can explore many ways to get great satisfaction. just like some women don't get a man to his highest point. that don't mean its ok for him to go out and find someone or something that does.

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Anonymous said...

I think that pleasuring yourself is better than cheating on your spouse with anyone else. If you tell your spouse your issues and they don't change then why should you be miserable when you can pleasure yourself

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Anonymous said...

If you are using a sex toy while also rejecting your husband's advances, you're being emotionally abusive. If he is satisfied, and knows about it, and is OK with the idea, it's OK.

But I will be very honest. I have known a lot of women. Not one who regularly used a vibrator had a healthy sex life with men. They condition themselves to want something other than actual sex, and then complain when actual sex feels different.

Anonymous said...

Honestly I'm a male and I'll tell this, how confident or secure you are in your marriage or relationship, this to me is a factor to which could lead to jealousy, or but hurt about you not pleasing your significant other. I'm not cock but my significant other makes it a habit to show me and tell me that I arouse and please her. So when we discussed toys, it was a turn on for me because watching her please her self or me being a part of that pleasure is an amazing feeling for me. I'm all for them!

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Anonymous said...

I to have had a great time giving and watching my wife have multiple, I mean multiple orgasms with bigger and more powerful toys over the last two years. But before the toys, my penetration was 80% of our love making time together, the rest being filled with my tongue and fingers. Now, 90% of the time is vibraters! inside and out! sometimes two at once. Sex?, now last for hours. I've even have had to stop and change batteries more than once ! I admit I have a small penis and I love her so much but now I feel unneeded and insignificant. I have suggested a vibeless afternoon once in awhile as she claims she loves my penis inside her, she agrees to it, but it never happens. I feel cuckold to the vibes but I would he selfish to take them away now as I was the one that brought them to the bedroom. If she would tend to my needs it mite be different but I don't want her to do something she doesn't want. Once before a thirty second blow job she called my dick disgusting. I still get to enter her but only after she is satisfied and now I can only climax half the time. I finish alone

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Anonymous said...

Being in our 60s my wife and I are very late with getting into sex toys. We purchased an Evolved Slenders Flutter three speed vibrator based on a recommendation from a female clerk with whom my wife felt comfortable discussing intimate details of our sex life. Even though the clerk was very supportive my wife felt intimidated by the vibrator and was quite reluctant to try the toy. However, after much coaching on my part she finally let me use the vibe on her and in less than a minute she had as she describes the most explosive orgasm she has ever had in her life. She seldom experiences an orgasm from normal intercourse. From that moment on she was hooked. We never have sex without the vibrator being the main lead in for her having an orgasm before I mount her which quite frankly is delightful. Though marketed as a slender vibrator my wife very much enjoys the added depth of penetration and increased sense of fullness the vibe affords over me. If your sexual partner is like me and cums too quickly, as in a minute or less, or is less endowed than most men you owe it to yourself to try a vibrator. Her only regret is that we waited so long to discover the joys of a vibrator. We have sex now more than we did in our 40s.

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