I was actually in church last week when I heard my pastor ask this question to the congregation? He was speaking about family and the importance, along with the choices that women have to make. Would you rather have a successful career or successful marriage? I quickly wrote the question down and thought it would be a great topic! I also kinda tuned him out for a minute and thought which would I rather have?
Ummmmm!?!?
It's so hard for women to choose sometimes because men are going to work. It's just in them (and it should be) to work and take care of his family. With that being said, women have the children (literally) and are the nurturing ones. They take care of the family and the household in every way, although sometimes that includes the mother working outside the home. Sometimes it's a full fledge career or just a job. Either way some women don't always have the luxury of choosing (to work or not) BUT what if you could. Which would you choose?
I thought long and hard about it. If I had to choose... just had to choose, I would choose successful marriage. For me, the benefits of a successful marriage far out way the benefits of a successful career. What about you?
Married life isn't always easy, but with the right person - It is always worth it. This blog is my journey in the mighty married life, showing the good, bad & the great. The hubby, the kids & just life! Some topics are sensitive and some are a blast! Either way, I am going to try to enjoy life!
11 comments:
For me, a successful marriage is definitely more important than my career. I've known for a very long time (even before I got married) that I wanted to be a wife and mother first and have a "job" second. That became even more apparent to me once I met my husband and got married. I knew there would be nothing more rewarding than taking care of my family. I have worked my entire marriage and have had two kids along the way but I am now fortunate to have the opportunity to choose and I am choosing to stay home and leave my job behind with no hesitation. I have no doubt that it will be best for my family.
Well, well, well, what do we have here? I am not feeling this one at all! Let me tell you why...often times women get put into this box of certain things we should be good at. Oh if I have a successful career that somehow hinders me from having a successful marriage? If I had to choose, I would choose a successful career. This goes to self developement and this should happen long before marriage, but if it doesn't then we as women should not have to put off the desire to be successful in our careers just because we are now married. This shows me how selfish men can be sometimes, especially when it comes to the ego. Why is it difficult for men to accept that they have a wife that is driven...this is where the support comes in at. Now I do favor balance in all aspects of life so if you can not balance career and marriage, then there is a choice to be made. I do not idolize career nor marriage, so it is whatever God has designed me for. My ideal marriage would be that my goals and aspirations would be supported by my spouse, therefore making it easier to have both success in the marriage and my chosen career.
I totally agree with you Realist. You should not have to sacrafice one for the other and it's important for your husband to support you in your career if that's what's important to you. My husband does support me with my decision to stay home just as he has supported me in my decision to work for the past 10 years. He just wants me to be happy. And for now, I find that being homes makes me happy. That doesn't mean that I will feel this way forever but for now it's what I choose to do.
I would have to say a successful marriage. Whether you are a man or a woman a successful career is very lonely when you have no one to share it with. This comment can go for either sex: as a human being when you have someone who has your back 100% of the time and is willing to make those sacrifices for both of you to make your lives comfortable and prosperous there is no career in the world that could take that place. For the career person, At the end of your life and you look back and see all that you have accomplished and your palatial palace full of stuff and there is no one there; but the hangers on and your servants who are paid to love everything you do, ask yourself was it all worth it. A successful marriage is a true friendship that weathers all storms. Nest Eggs don't give hugs and kisses and tell you I love you and mean it. Hug and kiss your career, if you want to, but I prefer the warm embrace of someone other than my children and other relatives at times. If you have a successful career it can be fulfilling, but for how long? Successful does not mean perfect.
I love the last comment because I totally agree. I signed in to say what you said, but now I don't need to say it. PLUS, the question was IF you HAD to choose! Most women want both but that wasn't the question. And even if you get both, something is going to have to give. You will have to sacrifice in some way, some times, some days!
I would still choose a successful career...different strokes for different folks. The successful marriage would have to choose me...I'm just sayin. Every girls' dream was not the husband, house, 2 kids, a picket fence, and a dog. I can see the essence of what the ladies are saying, but the question was if I had to choose...this does not mean I will not have anyone to share my good fortune with, it simply means I have a choice in the matter. I am a married women, I've seen the highs and lows of it, not just in mine, but in many. I chose the successful marriage at first, but since that isn't working, can I pick again? LMBO!!! What if you chose to have a successful marriage over the career and it just hasn't worked out that way, then what? This was a hard one for me, but The Realist1 has chosen.....
Actually, I would rather have a successful career. I tried marriage and it lacked true love, a negative correlation and a bleak cause and effect, and, in turn created a lot of bad feelings. So, now I am at a crossroads and, at the moment, I am attending college to further my education. In pursuit of it, I am finding it the most arduous task as I am struggling with Intermediate and Elementary Algebra and French. I do, however, am very confident about completing psychology with a passing grade. I have no thoughts of remarrying again because that will mean that I will continue to use poor judgment in that department. Enough is enough.....I am twenty credits shy of my associate's degree at the time of this writing. My life is predetermined by God. Therefore marriage, having children, or finding "Mr. Right" was never my purpose in life so I simply replaced those unfulfilled purposes with My Lord and Blessed Savior, Jesus Christ or better yet, "My Mister Right"....................
As a fellow believer in the powers that be; the book that the lord has written for us all has already been printed and bound. In other words, the unsuccessful marriage, the children as well as the search for the "supposed" Mr. Right was already in print. We were all given free will, hence the choices that we make are our own and it is up to us to do with it what we want. As a married woman myself I can easily understand wanting to regret and/or even question at times why it's worth it to save a marriage that may not always be what you want it to be. I do not like divorce, but it is sometimes inevitable as well as necessary. My dear sisters take every stumbling block that has been placed in your path by the adversary i.e. the devil/husband and use them to better yourself. For the sister who is completing her degree; don't let him bring you down. It's not easy. Do everything from now on because of the passion you have for it, not in spite of whatever you feel you weren't able to accomplish because of what he didn't do. Like the realist my dreams were of a career. I thought about marriage and possibly children,but the thought was placed there by society. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and children to no end, but I placed more focus and development on my future career, than planning for marriage one day. I was already making money in high school doing hair, thinking about how to build my empire. A man on the side didn't cross my mind. No one is forced into anything in America these days. I would bet that on your wedding day Lady G and the Realist if someone would have posed this same question of marriage or career your response would not have been the latter. A choice was made, albeit what it may, but it was made. As the Lords prayer states: Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread. When you wake the Lord has already provided your portion for the day. Use it and use it wisely. Your daily portion is all that's needed. The past has come and gone. Live for today. In addition Lady G, if you would like I can provide Ms. B with some links that can assist you with your French. Fore it is truly a language that must be listened to and practiced. Ne devient pas une bafouilleuse a cause de votre mari ou ex-mari. L'estime de soi, viens de soi-meme pas d'un homme.
I would have to say a successful marriage because in a successful marriage everything will be worked out. The marriage would run smoothly (for the lack of words) meaning if you had kids the successful marriage would allow it to be worked out for them to be picked up or take to their practice without any stress. In a successful marriage it would be worked out that the first person home starts dinner. the flow of the marriage would be stressless. More like if you see something needs to get done do it and not complain. A true 50-50 deal. That's a successful marriage though I'm sure there are more details to it. With a smooth family flow, the careers will work out.
I would choose successful marriage. I say successful marriage because inevitable a career can always be desired and brought into fruition. But with a marriage, how long to have to create a family with that special someone, how long do you keep putting off the good man that wants to cater to you, how long to you ignore your best friend, you've connected with like no other?? How long?? You will look around and all you have is a career now what?? I choose marriage and a successful one, just like your career takes time, work and effort, after I think about it....isn't a successful marriage...a successful career?? A career starts in stages...as does a marriage...you have an intern phase--fiancee stage--intro to marriage--intro to company, entry level position--newly wed phase---being introduced to the family (company)---I can go on....do you get my drift?? Family--Marriage is the FIRST Institution--(Company) so having a successful career--you in fact have a successful marriage...Food for thought...:^)
@Anynomous: Thanks for your encouraging advice. Right now, I have passed my classes this semester and if marriage is not a purpose for me then, I am alright with that. I have the uncanny abilty to move forward, regardless.
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