Monday, February 8, 2010

If you don't work, how should you divide the money? Should you get any?

** WIFE's instead of signing in Anonymous, please put WIFE B, or whatever your letter is b/c it's a good way for someone to speak back to you when referencing your point!

Ok.... I got a good question today. How do you divide the money up if you don't work? Well, I do work and we still have an issue with the money thannng! Me and my husband have one checking account where all our main income checks go. I have a checking account that I had before we were married and he was never added to it. He opened another checking account a few years ago when he started a new business. I have a side business and I usually put all that money in there unless the household needs it. And he has an alternate business and usually does the same thing. Sooo right now let's not count the other two checking accounts. Like I said, our main money goes in our joint account. He actually pays the bills too, so he sees what goes in and goes out. In his mind, our household comes first (meaning all household bills need to be paid to keep this house current and in order) and everything else is extra. If we want to spend $50 or less while we are out - out of the joint checking, we usually don't call the other.... but if we are making a bigger purchase we usually like to talk to make sure it's ok with the other. But we don't have allowances. He doesn't get a certain amount of his check to keep and neither do I. It all goes into the joint and after bills are paid, we can discuss what outside stuff we want to do.

Now if I was in a position that I didn't work, I still don't think he should give me an allowance. I am your WIFE. Your equal. I am taking care of the household, which I might add is a 24 hour job and you are working outside of the home bringing home money so I can run this household with less stress. I think it is something that should be discussed because every relationship and how they handle money is so different BUT I don't ever think because a woman that might not work be seen as a lesser contributor to the household because of that reason.

NOW as for the other checking account, my husband JUST TOLD ME last week that everything I do on my side business (Ardyss: Lose 2 to 3 dress sizes in 10 minutes with the BODY MAGIC!, and I freelance graphic design, and I have a maternity line of shirts with a partner, Belly Etiquette) He said I can keep all that money for myself .... BUT he told me that to keep me from dipping in our joint checking account and making us go over budget ALL THE TIME.

So that might be a thought. Get yourself a side hustle and make you some extra money and you won't have to argue with the hubby about an allowance!

SO LADIES.... I ask the question, "If you are a stay at home MOM or WIFE how do you divide the money? Should you get an allowance or are you still treated equal in the family financial decision making?"


wife K said...

ok funny you ask this question being that I just came into the situation so however dont know how it will work considerng that before I was the one with the more dominate income and now have none not even a husle either so give me about 60 days to revaluate the issue then reply but I dont feel that I need an allowances and hes in agreement not sure if that is good or bad for now but we will see I think all is well and base on the relationship in your house as far as if it matters and who is mostly responsible in paying the bills of the house.

Michele said... husband and I have been married for 11 years. We have always had a "HOUSEHOLD" account and each of us have our own checking account. Grant it, my husband's check always goes to his checking account (because he nevers carries the household check book to write his direct deposit...yeah right) but when bills need to be paid, I have access to his account, pull the money out that is needed for the bills. My check goes to the household account but I have I have 10% of my check going into my personal checking account. As a used to be Stay At Home Mom, I never had an allowance. Like you said, I run the household 24 hours a day. I don't even give my children allowances so why should I get an allowance. Now, that both of us are working, we make it work to make sure that the household bills and TITHES are taking care of first. No one still should get an allowance. Now, my husband jokingly said the other day that he is on an allowance because whenever either one of us are low in the accounts, we will transfer money into each other's accounts. This works for us. But, it does not matter if you are a Stay At Home MOM/DAD or WIFE/HUSBAND, I don't agree that you should get an allowance...just make it work. A side hustle is something I really need to get into...but something that I don't have to really sale. Still looking...

The WIFE said...

I like Michelle "Tithes!" We do that do! And as for the side hustle, just pray about it. And if you don't want to sale anything (products), sale your services! Either way, to make money you have to sale something.

Michele said...

Thanks...I agree, I always have to sale something. I just got to figure out what it is that I can sale that I enjoy! :-)

Wife L said...

I hear what all of you are saying and you are making good points. How much of the money are you putting towards a savings account? I think that if you are married to a non controlling man, it is reasonable to just spend out of the same account with no problem. The problem came from him cashing his check and keeping money in his pocket, then putting what he wanted or just enough in the joint account to cover bills. My earnings went directly into the joint account, so (if you wanted) you could track my spending. I found overtime that he was asking me about my spending, but his was not visible because he was spending the cash & wouldn't tell me how much he was spending or producing check stubs. Also, he deemed an amount that would go into another account that we use as a savings account. That started after we finished paying off a car. We let the car note money continue to go into that account. Now that our living situation has changed, and so has my income, he is still trying to live that way. He will put his whole check into the account, but now neither of us have ready cash. When I brought it up, the solution from him was that we both don't have any money. He has a piggy bank that he was fattening up when he was cashing his check. (So, he has "his" ready cash). To me, that is still him controlling. He makes enough that we don't have to live like paupers and miss out on everything if we don't put half of his pay into the savings. He will not budge on this. My solution for now is that I am looking to rejoin the workforce. When I start to make my own money, should I take some and put it aside for myself? Right now I can't even surprise him with a gift because he'll see the checkcard purchase or the ATM with drawal! What do I do?