Friday, May 21, 2010

If your best friend's husband is best friends with your husband AND she told you she was cheating, would you tell your husband? (*And you tell your husband everything!)

This is a good question. This question was given at a girls night out meeting I went to and the conversation was a good one. Even though I might tell my hubby everything (based on the question) I would not tell him my best friend was cheating. Why? Because #1 it's not her business is not his business. #2 if she trusted me enough to confide that secret in me, why would I go running to tell him, whether he would tell his best friend or not. If she wanted my husband to know she could have told us together or mentioned it was ok to share.

We (her and I) can talk about why she feels the need to cheat and/or what she wants to do about it. But as her friend, her best friend, I will be there through the storm. I know for a fact that if the tables were turned, the man wouldn't tell me if his best friend was cheating and his best friends wife was my best friend. He would say the famous words men say, "I am not in that!" or "It didn't have anything to do with me!" So, there ya go... What would you do?

5 comments:

Lotta said...

OK!! That is a BIG NO NO!! WHY?? Because YOU will violate your friends TRUST. Although, your husband should be your best friend as well, and you should tell him MOST things, somethings you DO NOT TELL. Your friend trusted you with this information, not that the situation is right but, as a friend you should be there to help her through it. You should advise her IT IS WRONG BUT you should NOT tell anyone, that is NOT your Place to tell, especially IF she has NOT told her husband. You should get your friend to confide in their husband about the issue and go from there. IF they decide to split, continue to be there for her as well. Rest assured your Hubby will NOT tell you IF his bestie is cheating on his mate. And it has nothing to do with 'bonds of sisterhood' it is about trust and valuing your friendship. Like in all relationships if you don't have "TRUST" what kind of relationship DO YOU really have?? I am quite sure your Husband knows there are secrets between you and your friends is DOES NOT know. There will be things that are NOT appropriate to share, and this I think is one. IF your friend does not tell her husband and decides to stay and work it out, you should NOT tell. That is just my opinion. I am sure some will not agree. :^)

toshadevon said...

I agree Lotta...You shouldn't go telling your hubby everything that you and your bestie talk about...especially if she is cheating on her hubby! Cause he might get that "birds of a feather flock together" feeling and start wondering about you. And most hubby's will not tell you if their bestie is cheating on his wifey. So that's my answer. I wouldn't tell him. But that doesn't mean I condone it. Love the Blog chick!!!

Lotta said...

Exactly Tosha!! I don't have time for the drama from my hubby...LAWD knows we have had our share!! LOL!! I was also thinking the same thing. He would think IF her GIRL is then maybe SHE is too?? But You are right the hubby is NOT going to tell you that stuff....best believe!! Also, just because you keep her secret does not mean you condone it as well. You are just trying to keep the trust going in the relationship and being supportive of your friend even though she is WRONG. That's just like supporting your hubby, even when he is wrong, but you do it because of your relationship and hopefully when the tables are turned he will do the same for you.

Metropolitan said...

No, I would not tell my husband, but I don't understand the logic that telling him might make him think I might cheat too. My best friends and I are different people and they do things I wouldn't and my husband knows that. Would you think your husband was cheating if he told you his friend was stepping out on his wife?

Also, if my friend was cheating, I wouldn't tell her she was wrong. It is not for me to say what is right or wrong in someone else's marriage and I'm sure that's not what she was looking for from a friend. What I would do is listen to her and try to be as supportive as possible without compromising my priciples.

MsDior said...

HONEY BOOM! I ain't telling him nothing...men talk(gossip) more than women! Men tend to catergorize women by association, so if your friend doing it then you either doing it too or you thinking about. I don't have time for all of that! My friends business is her business. Let's flip it for a minute...if my husband came home and said that my best friends husband was cheating....oh baby, I'm tellin it! My husband will use one of those two favorites, "man that ain't got nothing to do with us" or "don't tell her I told you"....what kind of mess is that? I'm sure he would do the same thing, but he would probably put a twist on it....just make my friend look like a ho(whore)! I'm not telling him anything about my best friend's personal life even if we are mutual friends....whatever!