Friday, October 22, 2010

Keeping Up Appearances! Do you care how your husband sees you?

Tonight I tried Zumba (an exercise that is all the rage) for the first time! I really had a good time. I was a guest of a friend and would enjoy going back. Before my cruise in August, my husband and I were going hard at P90x but when we came back not so much. My husband completely slowed down but I maintained working out (on the treadmill, which is my usual workout of choice). One day my husband came in the room and saw me after my workout and said, "Whoa Baby! You are looking good! I have to get back on it!" And I actually can't find the first disk of our P90x and my husband has been asking me for over 2 weeks for it. He really wants to get back on it and acts like I am preventing him for doing that. He actually has a full body gym in the basement but acts like because I can't find one dvd, he can't work out!

One thing about me is that I have always had a desire to maintain my size and age gracefully. I started working out in high school because I ran track and that has continued through adulthood (working out). That brought me to thinking, married ladies, do you work at keeping yourself up for yourself, your hubby, or really don't work at keeping yourself up. I believe the percentage is about 80% keeping myself up for me and 20% for my husband. I say only 20% because I believe that I would be doing it whether I was married or not. But I do want to always "have it going on" in the eyes of my husband.

Some women don't keep themselves up at all. Some women think, I married him and he loves me. He's not going anywhere. And that may be true but goodness, if you can be better wouldn't you want to. Don't you want your husband to look at you and still be SUPER attracted to you? And this has nothing to do with being skinny or having a low weight. This is about the total package. The appearance. Do you ever do your hair anymore? Does he always see you in a hair wrap? Or just not combed? Are you always in your house coat or just drab? Do you go to bed in your flannel pj's or do you pull out the "sexy" every once in a while? And even though life happens and keeps you busy - what's wrong with working out here and there. Eating less and better more often? I am not saying by any means that not doing any of these things will make your hubby go astray but again, don't you just still want him to be "Wowed!" by you sometimes?

It's always nice to get compliments from friends and strangers that I look nice on a particular day. It's just a different feeling when my husband tells me, "You look really nice!" And he gives me this nod like, she is doing it. And I know he means it. I wouldn't care if anyone else said a word.


E.L. Williams said...

Now ladies, let me give you a man's perspective on this. Women who refuse to maintain their appearance after marriage and then say, "well if he really loves me it shouldn't matter if I gained weight" are delusional. Yes he should love you unconditionally, but that doesn't mean he's attracted to you unconditionally. Men are very visual creatures by nature and before love ever came into the picture, he was attracted to you first. Yes, he should be sensitive to your changes after having children or aging but he does not want you getting comfortable with it.

Your first reason for wanting to keep it together should be for you. This will add to your confidence and attitude about yourself. That alone will make you more sexy to your husband!

Now men...this doesn't mean you can walk around looking like you are in your second trimester. As the man you must lead by example in all things!

ToshaDevon said...

I agree that women and men should work hard to keep looking their best for their "mates"!! I agree with the man...Physical Attraction is IMPORTANT!!! I want my man to find me physically attractive as well as love me for the person that I AM!!! I wouldn't want him looking "tubby tubby" why would I. So I say WIFE's...spruce yourselves up...throw on some nice clothes and shock him...but do it regularly!! The same things you did to get him, you have to continue doing to keep him interested!! Nice Topic B...I love it and YOU!!!