Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Porn and Marriage? She found it on his computer and his secret credit card just for PORN!

Savannah just wanted to use the computer to type something. She went online and all these porn sites started popping up! She closed them and opened a new window and more porn sites came up! She called a family friend (because the hubby was out of town) to ask why is this happening? They told her to look in the history and she would be able to see all the sites her husband visited. Well, long story short, her husband had been not only visiting porn sites, he had a web cam to actually see these chicks live and allow them to see him (if you know what I mean!). He even had a secret credit card especially for his porn. When her husband came home from his weekend in Las Vegas, Savannah immediately told him she wanted a divorce! Savannah is a character from Terry McMillan's new book Getting to Happy. But this situation and circumstances can and probably has happened to a woman before. For Savannah the porn was a deal breaker? He eventually confessed to having a one-year affair with another woman, but that was after she asked for a divorce. She felt that porn was cheating? What do you think?

Does Porn have a place in a marriage? Do you watch it with your husband? Do you mind if your husband watches it without you? Or at all? I went to lunch last week to discuss this book and this was the first question. Would this be a deal breaker if this was your husband's behavior? The table had 5 women and the response was almost half and half or 3 to 2. There were 3 ladies that said it would be a deal breaker (before they even knew about the cheating with the woman!). The other two said, no it would not be because they would want to see if they could work it out and find out where this obsession is coming from first before just jumping to divorce. 

I will say porn does not have a place in my marriage. If your marriage does and it's cool with you.....hey, if you like it, I love it. But in my home we just don't watch it. It wasn't established as a rule but as long as we have been married the subject might have came up once, and I had a question about it so I asked him. I have a friend who has watched porn with their spouse and said it led to good sex afterward! I do think watching it together is one thing but you (or your spouse) sneaking around to watch it, paying to watch it, getting a secret credit card to watch it, getting a web cam to participate in it is TOO MUCH!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My husband and I do watch porn together. It was actually my idea at the beginning of our marriage. I have a lot of male friends and I know how men like their porn and I didn't want him sneaking around watching it. So I just embraced it. We don't watch it all of time but every now and then just to spice things up. And yes, it leads to great sex!