Friday, January 27, 2012

HELP THIS HUSBAND!!?? He can't keep up & feeling bad for his WIFE!

I was so surprised to get this in my inbox! And from a MAN too! The other day I got an FB message from a college friend he said, "Hey! I have a topic for your blog. Wives who are in their mid-30s are approaching that sexual peak. And husbands like me can't keep up... lol. How do the wives cope?"


It's a great question. And it's a real life topic. So I ask the question to you all, he wants to hear from you. Are you a woman whose boyfriend/husband can't keep up with you? Maybe he can't keep an erection for long? Maybe he is just not good anymore? Is it disappointing? Do you discuss this with him? Have you started looking elsewhere? Would you consider using a vibrator to keep you satisfied or a boy toy?
I am a part of a Social Organization called Mocha Moms and we are going to start reading this book called, The Secret Lives of Wives, where over 200 women were interviewed about how they stay married. Some of these women have boyfriends, secret vacations, etc.

I think that is a very hard situation for a woman to be in. Here you are, wanting to have sex, good sex, long sex, passionate sex and your man can't keep up. I would be very disappointed, but think about what he is going through. I am sure that man probably has his own disappointing thoughts about it. Men are very prideful and just the thought of not really satisfying their woman and being able to see it on her face.....I am sure does something to them. Well, I would say to the MAN, first go get checked out. I think it's important to see if it's anything medical that can be treated or reversed. Is it stress? Are you overweight? Do you exercise? Are you still even turned on when being with your wife? I think the issue can easily go beyond, "He just can't keep up!" Unless it's just old age and 30's is not old!

Some possible steps to take:
1) See a doctor. There are many reasons that a man cannot perform effectively and if you never get fully checked out your symptoms can get worse.
2) See a therapist. Sometimes things are mental? Do you have something on your mind? Is there something you are holding in, holding back or holding on too? Go with your spouse.
3) Exercise. If you are out of shape or overweight, you surely can't perform to your maximum potential. Exercise will help you lose weight and gain more energy for sex and life in general.
4) Eat Healthy. There are so many foods that are stimulants. Do a little research and stop eating foods that weigh you down and make you tired! Eat more fruits and veggies!
5) Explore other ways to satisfy each other. Are you comfortable using toys together? Oral sex? Fingers? (LOL! I am laughing typing this!) Also, try going slow! Sometimes when you go hard and fast, you tire yourself out!!

Well ladies, this husband wants to know how you cope because he probably wants to get understand of what his wife may be going through. So let's help him out.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

He needs to be open to doing some things. Like going with her to buy some sex toys to add on to what they are doing. They need to get those toys that allow him to excite "HER SPOTS" and he needs to check out this book "Incredible Sex" by Marcelle Perks. This book will detail what I am talking about. Most important he needs to listen to what she is telling him what she needs sexually. Let me know if this helps
..

A Man's Voice!

A guy said...

I'm not a woman, but wanted to give some tips that have worked wonders for my wife!

- Don't be afraid to think of the act like a performance. I know so many men that have negative associations with the therm "perform", but performing well in bed doesn't mean she sees you as a machine that's never going tired or limp. Focus on the overall performance.

- Learn godlike oral skills. And yes, this includes anilingus if she so desires

- Don't be afraid of toys, even if they're larger than your own "tool".

- Agree with the book recommendation above, women have a lot of hotspots, which may yield different types of orgasms.

- Always make sure she's having orgasms by toys, manual stimulation and oral before intercourse. How many is up to each and every woman. My wife (and I'm not joking or bragging) usually has about 10 orgasms during foreplay.

- Practice kegel excercises and edging, this will make you last longer and possibly to control your ejaculation entirely. After 2 years I was able to hold back and time my orgasm with her (final) internal orgasm.

- Holding back is also useful if she wants you to pull out and ejaculate externally. Some women, including my wife like to see a man's orgasm. (If she does, make some effort to come in powerful spurts. Dribbling looks a bit stupid if she watches, and a "pornstar cumshoot" looks more masculine)

Anonymous said...

Your wifes a lucky girl "A guy". I wish my husband would see things your way. for the past 5 yrs of my life i have had to endure the same ol' same ol' mediocre sex, and i am at my wits end! I have always been the adventurous type in the bedroom and will do anything and everything for my husband to satisfy his needs and desires. I love this man.. He is great in every aspect of his life execept in the bedroom. I have tried communicating with him about this topic but nothing has ever really changed. What i am trying to say (before I stray off topic) for the husband needing help, is If you really love your wife find a way to keep her satisfied. Go sex toy shopping with her, have a porn watching marathon (ok mayb not an all night marathon, but u catch my drift) if your up for it, try sex performance medication, ANYTHING!!! to make it better. Just because she doesn't say anything doesn't mean theres not a problem, Sometimes topics such as this one are difficult to bring up in a conversation, because we feel telling you will only hurt your ego. i just want to leave you with one final thought. from a real womans point of view if your wife ever feels HER needs arent being met by YOU she will eventually come across someone who can. Y? Not because the love is gone, but because there was something essential lacking in the relationship. So before things take a turn for the worse... Surprise her! I know she will appreciate the change. Hope this helps.

Anonymous said...

Those advices are ALL WRONG; he needs a break to recover. Semen is our vital energy and once that's depleted, so is our ability to perform.

Sharon Doroes said...


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Michael Snapp said...

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