Thursday, February 4, 2010

Do you Submit to your husband? Is it an easy thing to do?

Today is going to be a great day for me! I am speaking miracles, signs and wonders!
My Pastor prayed last night and I receive it. How are you ladies doing today?

As a mother and a wife I get soooo tired sometimes. Just being a mother (a good one) can be rewarding but soooo draining too. Not to mention the WIFE part. The cooking, cleaning, taking care of HIS needs and still trying to be an individual person. I feel I am stretched b/c he expects me to do all that BUT yet he still supports me as I do my other business ventures. Cooking, Cleaning....etc. has to be done huh! LOL.. And since we don't have a housekeeper... I guess it's me! Just playing. I don't mind taking care of my household, but sometimes it's like the WIFE needs a WIFE just to help her out with her duties!  So that brings me to the question of the day: Do you believe in submitting to your husband like the BIBLE says? Or do you both not give into that?

Personally... when I first got married I was all gun ho for submitting! Well, let me say before I got married!
I was the first one to tell him, "I am going to submit!" I was excited about it. Like I said, my church made it seem like marriage was the best thing going. BUT BUT BUT... when I said I do, it was a whole different thing. When we moved into our home a week after we came back from the honey moon... he took me in the bed room and closet and said, "This is where I like my socks, my underwear here... my shirts should be folded like this... and please hang my shirts here!" And he was SO SERIOUS! I was frozen with disbelief, because we didn't talk about me doing all this while we were dating or engaged! I was MAD AS H@(#!(!!! because I just didn't expect him to come at me like that! So you can probably tell I lost the desire to submit very early in the relationship! But 6 1/2 years later....... guess what.. His socks, underwear, clothes are right where he told me to put them! I gave in. :(

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I couldn't help but to laugh when I read the your post and saw the part about the socks in the closet. I remember when we first got married my husband was so particular about many things...he wanted the dishes placed in a particular order, he didn't like "so called cheap" store brands, which that soon ended (LOL)! As the months and years went on, he realized that we were two different people, from to different backgrounds so there had to be some comprising. I think when we first got married, we were big on the whole submission thing, but after 9 years of marriage, we realize that if we respect and love one another, that goes a long way!!! There are some things that I make sure I get his opinion on first before doing...I think it's just out of respect for him being the "head of the house"!

Michele said...

I think I do a good job at submitting to my husband but there are those days when I am like, WHATEVER! Once I learned to keep my mouth shut about some things, and pick my battles, I think submission has become easier. I don't mind keeping the house clean, excluding cooking...I hate that part of the job. But, like the other post said, it is about respecting each other.

Anonymous said...

With us both working full-time I find it difficult. We both get home about the same time but you get to sit in front of the TV while I'm in the kitchen cooking! Hell I want to sit down and be served too! Now don't get me wrong, I do go ahead and cook . . . but can I get some help around here! If I cook, can you at least wash the dishes! I don't think that's too much to ask. We need to find some mutual respect because it doesn't exist anymore. Because of his unwilling to do certain chores, it makes me unwilling to do more than the bare minimum. Thank God that there are no children yet or I may have had to truly hurt him by now! Where do you find the time B? Plus I don't want to be overwhelmed when the children do come. It's almost their now. A change MUST come!

wife k said...

Unfortunate I must admitt I do submit when it is convient for me but not always so some day yes it is easier than others also I feel since we both work that it is an equal thing to do but he doesnt cook so that I have to do however we do share the other house hold chores such as laundry and some cleaning of the house and it works for now but I said if I didnt work that I wouldnt have a problem in taking care of my home.

Bernetta said...

Ladies!! I loved reading all your comments! I was laughing at some and shaking my head in agreement too! The post that said, we both work, but He sits infront of the TV and I am cooking ... GIRL I understand. Although our work schedule is not the traditional 9 to 5 ... I get mad b/c he just hates to wash dishes!!!!! I mean sometimes I just leave dishes in the sink for days just to see if he is going to get fed up!!! I guess he doesn't. That pisses me off! I agree with the person taht said, when you don't help with certain household chores that that makes not want to give you certain things! Not just because you didn't do it.. but because certain things turn married women on! Maybe that will be the next post!!! LMBO!

Love you WIFES!

Nicole said...

I have been married going on three years next month and I submit when it makes sense to submit (i.e., cutting back on some expenses until all bills have been paid). I adhere to what my husband is saying, because he is very good with paying bills on time. We divided our chores when we first married. Three years laters, it's still working so I'm happy for that. I cook majority of the times and he cooks every blue moon. But, I enjoy cooking as if I had my own tv network. I must admit...I have some dominant traits of the marriage when it comes to taking the lead. Is that a bad thing?

Starrlette said...

Hello ladies. I have been married going on 10 years. Sometimes submission can be easy and sometimes it can be very difficult. Depending on the situation, there are times I feel what I am saying or thinking is better than his and that is when I find it very hard to submit. However, when I really sit down and have a heart to heart conversation with him, he may look at my views and go with that. If he doesn't agree and decide to go with his own thoughts, I may get upset, but I have also learned to let go and let God. When it boils down to it he is the head of this home and he will have to answer to God for how he ran it! It is easier to give him the respect in the decision he has made!

As far as the chores, we share those. If I am working late, my husband will have dinner prepared for me or he will go out and buy us something. The only thing I don't like is he don't always wash the dishes when he cook. When I cook, I wash the dishes, dry them off, and put them up while he is sitting in front of the TV! :) (Sound familiar ladies?) Sometimes I get mad, but other times I just do what I have to do to keep the peace.

One thing I have learned these 10 years if I've not learned anything else is that we as women do a whole lot more sacrificing than men! That can be frustrating at times! In closing I will say I love my husband and I thank God for him. He has made my prayer life much stronger because only God can give me the grace and strength I need to be this man's helpmate. Being a wife is not the easiet job in the world, but I am grateful for my husband and daughter. Thank you Lord! Love you ladies and I am looking forward to sharing my wisdom with and learning from you all as well!!

Anonymous said...

What about when you have an idiot that doesn't realize that he's one. One that wasn't fully trained and is just sooo immature. Throws a tantrum for everything (when he doesn't get his way). I already feel like I'm raising a kid! Why can't I be me and that be alright. I don't want to submit to the point that I'm no longer me and lose me. When I stand up for me, the I'm "against" him! When you are not in your twenties anymore, you need to mature and take responsibilities for your actions! How do you submit to that????

Anonymous said...

Hello Ladies.......
Well I wanted to comment on Anonymous about submitting when he doesnt deserve it. I agree. You only submit when your husband is doing whats right (in God's eyes) and following God and is a leader. You cant submit if the only person he looks up to and is following is his friends or his own selfish ways. There is alot to the whole submission thing! :)

WIFE A said...

Wow, I have to say I am in awe. (i think I spelled that right) anyway, this question seems to have a strong connection between what our husbands do or make us feel and the actual reference to submitting. I have to say it took me a minute into our marriage to submit. One because I have to say I didn't have that connection with God (raised a Catholic-if you know what I mean) but two because I felt he hadn't grown up and didn't DESERVE for me to submit. We had a child out of wedlock and when the baby was born, I felt I changed and he didn't. My life began to surround the child and the man(not husband). But we got married and it still didn't change. I do know slowly but surely things started changing after many fights and the "You are suppose to submit to me" statement was thrown out there a million times. This was another reason it took so long because I felt he was using that against me and making his wrong doings ok. I think the biggest change came when I found the connection and he returned HOME(church). The biggest issues we had before this was UHM....1. him picking his feet up when he saw me coming with the vacuum but didn't bother to ask if I NEEDED HELP!!!sorry I'm yelling. 2. When he thought something was dirty and decide EVERYONE in the HOUSE SHOULD BE CLEANING! sorry yelling again. 3. having a problem with dishes in the sink but he wouldn't wash them. 4. he slept with just the comforter after I pleaded with him not to do that. AND last be surely not least him having a problem with me washing clothes on NEW YEAR'S Day because it will wash someone out of the family! WOW! these things use to frustrate me but now many of them I just deal with (i have my own issues). I realized biblical submission was not relative to what chores he did or didn't do. I know now that he has changed, not that he cleans any more than he did before but knowing and believing in the Word of God for my sake and his makes me fuss a little less.

The Wife said...

All I can say is wow ladies! Wow. Thanks so much for your comments! It makes me feel I am not alone!

Anonymous said...

My husband is a "Christian" man as well and a very traditional one if you know what I mean. We are in the same boat. Why was I coming home from work scrubbing floors, doing laundry and cooking pots yes girls POTS of food and he still wanted me to say hi to his friends and/or family that he might have been talking to at that time on the phone. Like women don't get tired. I was raised that men don't do housework, but Lord give me strength. I am not my grandma. I try to be. Even to the point that I make peach cobbler from scratch (flour on the counter top and all). My reward for this. Him bragging to his friends and family about how good his wifes food is and then people don't want to go home after they've eaten and I'm packing doggy bags for his single friends. I didn't sign up for this.

Mrs. D said...

Okay ladies, I have been married 12 years and submission has been up and down. We both work full time and he gets home before me. I can honestly say that he does hold it down by feeding our child (why shouldn't he, I didn't make the child alone!) Anyway, I have been working on submitting more, but it gets hard when he pisses me off and still have "expectations" of me..such as cooking... We both tend to have that "I'll show you attitude". When I don't feel appreciated, I have started to "Quit" many of the things that he is accustomed too. No laundry, no cooking, no nothing! Is it wrong? VERY! I never said I was perfect but I want some respect for what I do....12 years and I'm still a work in progress...marriage is not a fairy tail, it's a job.. you have to work at it to make it last.