Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Hot Topic "Can another woman break up your marriage?"

I dvr The View on ABC and just came home and started watching it. Well the very first Hot Topic was about John Edwards and Rielle Hunter. They were talking about her photoshoot in GQ magazine and how she mentioned that Elizabeth Edwards was just as much to blame for their marriage going under. So of course, it started the ladies talking. Whoopi Goldberg asked a real good question, "If you are in a committed relationship "marriage" can another woman really come in and break you up?"

I sat there for a minute and wondered. I mean, I paused the tv. It's paused now, while I am writing you all. You know you could take that from a wife perspective too. Can a man come in a break me and my husband up. Shoooot, the answer for me both ways is I DON'T KNOW. I don't know b/c although I know without a shadow of a doubt my husband loves me, and I say that because LOVE is an ACTION and he shows me he loves me daily. I can not speak for his choices or actions if put to a test. I hope he would pass of course. Smiling.

Joy and Elizabeth Hasslebeck made very good points by mentioning that sometimes marriages go through a period where one is really not feeling the other and there are just high and low points. And sometimes in the low points, if you are not strong or as dedicated you might stray. But also an affair isn't always about sex, at least in the beginning. It can start with talking at work, then emailing each other, then texting, then lunch, then leaving work together, then you kiss, then he's on top of you oooooooohh! lol... then yall having sex!! And because it's fresh, you know it's better than what you are getting at home! But back to the question, can someone from the outside actually break you up? I DON'T KNOW. It goes back to choice too. You choose your actions, no matter what the other person does. So if a woman did approach my husband, it's his choice to do the right thing or the wrong thing no matter what she does. It just depends on how committed he is. Now me on the other hand....... hahaaa just playing!

What do you all think?

5 comments:

Lotta said...

Ok.....I have had this issue. You know how women can be, want to break up a 'happy home' or cause trouble just because they can. This happened while me and my hubby were dating. But also have had issues with his EX after we were married. The EX thought he was not going to move on, just because she hadn't. Often times they don't want the man, they just don't want the man to be happy or want to see the man moved on with someone else. As a female, I don't understand this?? If you don't want him, why are messing up the chances of the next woman who might be happy with him. It is hard someone tries to come between you and your spouse, but if you and your spouse is committed to each other, then you can make it work, IF that is something YOU BOTH want. But you can not be in a relationship by yourself meaning, you are fully committed and he is NOT. But the reason we survived this, was because we were honest, we talked about it. I confronted him with the person, and the person backed off, changed their story. He was honest with me and I was honest with him. I am not saying it was easy, believe you me, was not but we did stand. I believe it was because my husband truly wanted to be with me and I with him. We both knew what we wanted and what our relationship meant to each other. he knew he only wanted to be with me and have a family--pre-kid days...LOL!! Now that we are a family of four--me, my hubby, two kids, he has told me many times, he would do it all over again, marry me and be with me....and that what makes it worth while. I love my Hubby--My Boos!! But marriage is work, but if you have a good relationship--I think it is worth it.

Anonymous said...

As I read this topic I was in the nail shop listening to a woman tell her personal business to the nail tech, which was this topic. She is the other woman and she is so-called dating a married man, who has been with his wife I overheard her say at the least since 1985, 25 years ladies. Now as she continued he is coming to visit her very soon, so she is getting dolled up for him! Oh, and his wife has a mental disorder-schzo. Now is this an excuse to want this man or for him to cheat on her, &$ll NO! Obviously in this case the other woman still does not have the man, so ladies who mess with married men, what do you gain? It's a choice and if the MAN, if he's a MAN, really loves his wife and family then there is no room for another woman. Marriage is WORK, and there is need for two parties to work at it 100%! You know not that 80/20 rule ladies! LOL!

Anonymous said...

If you are truly committed to the relationship or marriage then no one can make you stray. You stray because its what you really want to do. But 9 times out of 10 its only for a little while and then its back to life as usual. I think men do it just out of curiosity or boredom (which is why you should always keep your relationship spicy), or just for their own selfish needs. But no one can really break you up or come between you. Its your own choice.

Yaniyah said...

Sure can, if both parties do not work to save it. This means not having a "weak" spot in the relationship that would give a woman the indication that she could even try to infiltrate.

LADY G said...

THE OTHER WOMEN INFILTRATED AND GOT MY HUSBAND BECAUSE SHE MADE A DEAL WITH MY HUSBAND TO GIVED HIM CHILDREN INSTEAD. SHE SIMPLY USED PYSCHOLOGY ON HIM AND MADE SURE TO GIVE ME THAT ULTIMATUM ,EVEN THOUGH, SHE KNEW DAMNED WELL, THAT I NEVER COULD GET PREGNANT. SHE USED MY WEAKNESS FOR BEING INFERTILE TO WORK TOWARDS HER ADVANTAGE AND TO END MY RELATIONSHIP WITH WITH MY HUSBAND. I AM COVINCED THAT MY HUSBAND SHARED THAT INFORMATION WITH HER AND THAT GAVE HER THE MOTIVATION TO DO THE REST.