WIFES,
I have received many emails and/or spoken to friends that are single who want to participate in the blog! WOW! I am flattered. So I came up with the topic for today and tomorrow! Today & tomorrow I want Single ladies to write in and ask questions and have the WIFES answer from their viewpoint. If you are single, post it with the name Single A or whatever your initial is, so the WIFE can address your question.
So SINGLES, what do you want to know that only a married woman can answer? Do you want to know can you tell if he's the one or not before you accept that engagement ring? Do you want to know the signs if he's not that into you? Do you want to know the result of marrying for money or status or opportunity? Do you want to know if married sex is better than single sex? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW SINGLE LADIES!
I will say this.... and I will say more when you write it BUT... never settle. You will regret it.
Here is a video by Pastor R.A. Vernon 10 Rules of Dating for your viewing pleasure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwTLpOQ3hKk
Married life isn't always easy, but with the right person - It is always worth it. This blog is my journey in the mighty married life, showing the good, bad & the great. The hubby, the kids & just life! Some topics are sensitive and some are a blast! Either way, I am going to try to enjoy life!
13 comments:
Hello ladies,
First off, let me start off by saying that I am newly engaged to my boyfriend of 5yrs. We have not set a date yet because we are currently trying to become financially stable. We are paying off student loans, I'm currently in school and he is contemplating on going back to school. We are not where we want to be, but we are blessed. We want to get married in 2011 or early 2012. Some people say that we should not allow finances (money) to stop us from getting married because money will always be an issue and some say YES WAIT until you BOTH are financially stable. So my question is "If we both are not financially stable, within 1-2 yrs, then should we continue to delay the marriage?" I don't want money to be an issue, but alot of the feed back that I have been hearing is all about $$$$$$ being an issue in marriages!! What do you MARRIED WOMEN THINK?
This is such a good question! But hard at the same time. First let me say that if you are praying people you two should pray and see how the Lord guides you, seriously. Second, how far are you from your financial goals? If you are months or even 1 year aways from being where you want to be financially then maybe you can wait. But if you have 15 years left of student loans, and he wants to go back to school which means he won't graduate for some years.... why wait. I won't speak that money PROBLEMS will always be an issue, but MONEY itself and the issues it brings will always be around. Are you spritual? If so, will you wait to have sex for those two years? LOL... I think not!
My advice is see how far you are from your financial goals. If they are within reach, wait. If they are not... meet with a financial planner and start mapping out your financial future together. You want to be together forever right! So start out on the right foot, b/c MONEY is a beast in Marriage! Ya HEARD ME!
love you!
THE WIFE!
I agree some what with wifey but there is never a perfect time to do things as long as you have a plan and not doing it by the seat of your pants then why wait two heads(pocketbooks) are much better than one and the two of you can help better the other financial so No dont delay the marriage cause it is harder to go without sex for a year time.
Thankyou for allowing us the oppurtunity to soak up this wealth of information from you married ladies. Lately I have been a married man's magnet and it irritates me. I would never knowingly date a married man but its as if im the crazy abnormal one and they just find another single willing participant. I will never be that desperate as to share someones husband. On that note a lot of men are what they are saying Legally Separated living in Separate houses what is that about? In my mind if you are not divorced you are still married . What are your thoughts on that?
One day friend of mine had a discussion on FB about if you saw a spouse cheating would you tell . I said said I would and a lot of women said they would mind their own biz and I was literally threatened by some bold man who said and I quote" snitches get stiches" Would you want to know ? Would be able to accept it if a woman told you? If you reconciled wityh your spouse would the friendship be strained? Would you rather me not tell you and let God Reveal it. What is the proper way to deal with that?
Alright single ladies> B and her brilliant ideas. Ok, the first post. Finances will always be a thorn in your side. However, just as the other post said make sure you have a plan and stick to it as much as possible. Is your mate one who likes to save or spend? this will give you a picture of how your financial plan will work in the future. If you are the one allows saving and he spending- you have now added something else in your relationship. Praying is a lot but having Plan A and B is a factor also.
Alright K, I know what you mean. For a long time, people would accuse me of messing with married men. Girl, farthest from the truth. Simply, because I knew one day I wanted to get married and wouldn't want it done to me. As far as your question. Yes, I would want to know. There are many reasons why 1. So we can try to fix it, 2. I don't want to be the one that DOESN'T know, 3. so I can handle my business if need be(nunchuncks,pepperspray, icey hot, etc)with him. JK! nah, just so he doesn't make the decision for me to stay. If I never know then I will never have the opportunity to leave if I want to. And yes, if you are not divorced than you are still obligated. For me if I was told, it would be how I was told. Some women will tell simply because they want to start mess but others do it out of sincere caring. But with that they have to understand he is my husband and I do have the right to try and work it out so they can't hate me they have to pray for me and truly understand where I'm coming from. For me being told, I would have to understand the person telling me is hurt also and I can't go to them over and over about my husband's cheating ways. Nobody wants to hear that after they already told you he cheated.
To K!
I agree, if you are not divored than you are still married. Living together or not. If you are not living together, then go get DEM PAPERS SIGNED! I mean, why start another relationship with another female who could possibly want to marry you one day and you are not officially divorced. Don't give into that at all. PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO 98% of the time, and if he really wanted to sign the papers or issue the papers he would. PERIOD!
Next topic, if your husband was cheating would you want to know! This would be a good topic for real! Ummm. HELL YES! I agree with the previous WIFE that the person bringing you the information should bring it with a NA NANA BOO BOO tone! But a sincere "I care for you tone!" But I would want to know, because I want the option to leave or stay. BUT for me, come to me with proof! Pictures, text, emails, whatever but don't come to me with I think! Because then, I gotta watch him and wonder and blah blah blah... Bring the proof wit ya!
Now me on the other hand, if I saw a man cheating I wouldn't tell the chick if we weren't cool. I would always tell my friends, but if me and the female are just hi and bye (even with proof) I wouldn't say anything b/c 1) she might not be like me! 2) she might already know.
I want to know the result for marrying for money, opportunity, and status.
To that last post about marrying for money, I wouldn't know, honey! Lol! I guess the husband would always have to have all of those three things at once and if he didn't, the marriage would suffer immensely. Therefore, I'm thinking a woman may want to marry someone for reasons that aren't so fluid...
QUESTION:
YOUR HUSBAND CHEATS ON YOU. WHAT DO YOU DO? (honestly) DO YOU LEAVE? ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW? WHAT?
THIS IS A WIFE TYPING! LOL
To the question about marrying for money, status and/or opportunity... I say don't do it. Why because if you didn't marry for LOVE first, when the MONEY, STATUS and OPPORUNITY are gone then its a strong possibility that so are you! There is no reason for you to say or make it work. And it is the same as settling or even using someone. Reverse it, men marry trophy wives (rich men) and guess what, when that trophy wife gets older and not the beauty prize possession, they are either out the door with a younger chick or cheating with one. Marry for love and find out while your dating what status and money he has! But don't make that the number one factor! Basically, the result is unhappiness, because money can by you things - but you are still unfulfilled and thats why you can't be satisfied!
2) You husband cheats on you, what do you do? You do what-eva-the-hell-you-want-to-do! Seriously. Why would you act like you don't know? Unless you don't mind, don't want to start mess OR he beats your behind! IF your husband cheats, its your choice about what you do next. You have decide what you can and can not settle for and deal with. Because you need to know, was this a one time thing, does he and will he do this often and is this marriage worth it.
WIFE with WORDS!
MY QUESTIONS TO THE WIFE'S TO ANSWER IS I WAS JUST WONDERING HOW THIS DREADFUL RECESSION HAS IMPACTED OR CAUSED UNDUE STRESS TO YOUR MARRIAGE?
FOR EXAMPLE, ONE OR BOTH SPOUSES GOT LAID OFF DUE TO THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF THE ECONOMY. HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO HANDLE IT: MENTALLY, SPIRITUAL OR BOTH. IS ANYONE GOING THROUGH COUNSELING TO REPAIR ANY FORESEEN ISSUES PERTAINING TO THIS PARTICULAR TOPIC?
Great question Lady G! I will make this a topic next week for sure!
THE WIFE
What are the ten good things that you can say about your spouse versus the ten bad things that irritates, annoys, or upsets you the most?
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