Thursday, August 4, 2011

What does my husband need to do to keep me from cheating!

I know this is an interesting question, but last night at church we were having a forum discussion. Members put questions in a box and the mediators would pull and ask a question to the crowd. Anyone has an opportunity to answer. Well, one the questions last night was just the opposite from the title of this blog. It was “What does a WIFE need to do for her husband, so he does not cheat on her?” When I first heard this question, I really didn’t like it. Mainly because I don’t spend my days thinking, ‘How do I keep my man faithful?’ Then I thought what about the other way around. Women cheat too. And now-a-days if the husband is not acting right, women (not saying I would, I am just saying…) will go astray. Since the creation of Facebook and Twitter, statistics on women cheating are up 60%.

On this particular question (“What does a WIFE need to do for her husband, so he does not cheat on her?”) Most of the men answered. Mostly ALL of them said “Do not close up shop!” I think for women that is a no brainer, we know our man likes sex. But one gentleman made an all around great point. He said his wife needs to be everything and nothing! Everything, meaning she of course needs to fulfill his needs but be able to stimulate his mind. Be able to give him conversation and go along with the vision he sets for the house. Also he said “Never deny him sex!” which I don’t agree with, because if I don’t want to do it – I DON’T WANT TO DO IT! Then he said 'nothing'. Nothing meaning it depends on the maturity of the man, because a woman can be all that to you and a bag of chips but if the man is a dog, he is just a dog! It depends if the man is ready to be faithful and desires to be faithful to his wife. Statistics also show 1 out of 3 men cheat on their wives.

A lot of men were going back and forth and I just kept thinking, what about the women. What does my husband have to do to keep me from cheating? He has to be my EVERY-FREAKING-THING! He has to listen to me. Really listen to me. I want him to give me what he knows I need and my wants (within reason, he says I am spoiled). I want him to BLOW MY MIND more often than not (and you already know what I mean!). I want to be able to talk about everything with him, like politics, children topics, and even when I feel emotionally unstable. I want him to do what I ask him within a reasonable amount of time (and not have to ask him 50 million times and then end up doing it myself). I want him to be romantic without me nudging him to do that! (The men didn’t like that!) I want him to be hands on with the kids (he’s a great daddy, I must say!). I want him not to mind holding hands in public or showing affection. I want him to LOVE GOD and not afraid to show it. I want him to be strong and a leader in our house but not so strong that he is overbearing or controlling. I want him to be a motivator and my number one cheerleader. I want him to wash the dishes! LOL! I want him to have goals and let us (the family) see him working towards those goals. I want him to be “My Husband!” In return, I will do the same for him; at least I am trying to.

I also am not saying that if he doesn't do any or all of these things, I will go and cheat. I was just answering the question. Smile.


Southern Wifey said...

I am so tiered of the way we think. Why should either wife or husband be held accountable for the actions of the other??? I can be a wonderful wife for three years and let say I go off the deep end... does that say it is OK for my husband to CHEAT. HELL no is the answer to that... we cheat because we WANT to cheat. If my husband is hurt badly in an accident and is no longer able to do anything but move his eyes!!! Does that make it OK for me to cheat???? Grow up people. Take ownership of your actions good and bad. Focus on being the best wife or husband you can be... and have some integrity!

E.L. Williams said...

Southern Wifey is correct in this sense: at the end of the day we are all responsible for our own actions. However, what one does or doesn't do for their spouse can contribute to the environment for those actions to be fulfilled. As much as integrity and self-control are important, it doesn't negate the fact we can all have moments of weakness. All it takes is the right person to come along at the right time; when you are in a season of unfufilment, frustration, and brokeness in your marriage. If you are not spiritually mature enough to overcome it, the devil will bring temptation in the form of everything you need that your spouse is not providing. It doesn't mean it is justified but it isn't always as black and white as Southern Wifey has stated.

Wifey_#1 said...

I love my husband, I really do...but he has gained a LOT of weight and now it is hard for me to be excited in the bedroom. I admit, I fantisize about being with someone who is sexy (Idris Elba) but wouldn't dare cheat on my man. I have told him over and over again that I want him to lose weight...but he doesn't seem to care. Please help me! I am really losing sex. I HATE doing it. ugh. I mean, I'm not the finest woman in the world...but atleast I have (his own words) onion booty LOL, and tons of sex appeal...but he doesn't appeal to me. :-( Help Me Please!!

WIFE (B) said...

Wow Wifey #1. I love your honesty. I understand your the desire can be lot to have sex for a multiple of reasons. I would actually explain this to your husband and why. I would do it gently. I would also ask him to work out with you! Sometimes men think they look the same as the did in high school!! Sometimes they need a reality check. If he really care about your feelings and wants to turn you on, he should want to do what he needs to do so you will desire him! This is a hard one!