You're Invited to The W.I.F.E Book & Dinner Club

Hello ladies!!!!

How are you doing today? Great, I hope! We have some great news! We want to start a book & dinner club. We all know what a book club is but I wanted to add dinner (or lunch) to it. A dinner club is where people get together and try new restaurants and never try to eat at the same place twice. When I heard about it, I thought it was a pretty cool concept and why not add the fun of reading with it. Here in Atlanta there are so many restaurants, that you could go years and not eat at the same place twice. I know that if you don't live in Georgia, you wouldn't come out in person (but of course we welcome you!), BUT that's where the online discussion comes in.

The first book that has been chosen is Terry McMillan’s new book, Getting to Happy. The release date is September 7, 2010 and can be purchased here (click). It is a sequel to Waiting to Exhale, which was actually the first book I read for pleasure. I was in high school and had read many books because they were assigned by professors, but this was the first book I actually wanted to read on my own. I remember riding the bus and not being able to book this book down. The characters came to life and it gave me my first real sense of what grown women go through with men, marriage, children, relationships and girlfriends. When it was made into a movie, I think everyone was excited. Even to this day, I don't know too many people that haven't read the book, saw the movie or heard the soundtrack. The fact that she had created a sequel that actually takes place 15 years later makes me even more excited to see the things that the characters have gone through over the years. For one, I am older and have had some of those experiences myself. Also, I am able to put faces with names because of the Waiting to Exhale movie. I really hope they make a movie of this new book. OK, sorry I am getting ahead of myself.

Will you join us? Will you be a part of this book club? Will you discuss it with us? A book is better when you have a friend to discuss it with! The book is released on September 7, 2010 and we will have our online discussion on October 11, 2010. If you live in the Atlanta area we will be discussing the book in a restaurant recommended by one of the WIVES on Saturday, October 9, 2010.

Here is a brief description of the book:
An exuberant return to the four unforgettable heroines of Waiting to Exhale--the novel that changed African American fiction forever.
Terry McMillan's Waiting to Exhale was more than just a bestselling novel-its publication was a watershed moment in literary history. McMillan's sassy and vibrant story about four African American women struggling to find love and their place in the world touched a cultural nerve, inspired a blockbuster film, and generated a devoted audience.
Now, McMillan revisits Savannah, Gloria, Bernadine, and Robin fifteen years later. Each is at her own midlife crossroads: Savannah has awakened to the fact that she's made too many concessions in her marriage, and decides to face life single again-at fifty-one. Bernadine has watched her mega divorce settlement dwindle, been swindled by her husband number two, and conned herself into thinking that a few pills will help distract her from her pain. Robin has an all-American case of shopaholism, while the big dream of her life-to wear a wedding dress- has gone unrealized. And for years, Gloria has taken happiness and security for granted. But being at the wrong place at the wrong time can change everything. All four are learning to heal past hurts and to reclaim their joy and their dreams; but they return to us full of spirit, sass, and faith in one another. They've exhaled: now they are learning to breathe.

Click here to find Terry McMillan’s tour dates (if you want your book signed)
If you live in the Atlanta area she will be Atlanta, GA - 7:00 PM Tuesday, September 14
Georgia Center for the Book
DeKalb County Public Library
215 Sycamore St.
Decatur, GA 30030

If you plan on reading Getting to Happy with us, please send an email to wife2010@gmail.com , and send your name, email address and city. In addition to the email, we strongly suggest you go the lower right side of the home page of this blog and SUBSCRIBE to either POST or COMMENTS (or both) so when we post about the book(s) you will get the comments once you comment (similar to when you comment on someones facebook comment). Once we get the database created we can send out suggestions for future book and restaurant suggestions.

Thanks Ladies!

How do you deal with your NEW husband when you have a child from a previous marriage and the EX-husband was forbidden to see the children for certain reasons.

This question is a tough one because I didn't come up with this one. It was emailed to me by a faithful WIFE follower and wanted to pose it to you all. I stared at this question for a long time and asked myself, "What does she mean, 'What about the new husband?'" Does she mean, how does he discipline his new step child or children, how does he approach the children with certain things, how does he start to act like a new father, how does he act now that the EX-husband may be ready to come back around? So many questions.

Well I (who is not an expert!) think that you should first have a talk with the new husband alone about his expectations and desires for the marriage concerning the children. That should have been done before the "I do's" by the way. And I think you need to have a talk with the children, out of the presence of the new husband. I say this because, it's important to hear the heart of your children's needs, desires, fears and concerns. They may not be as open if he is there. After hearing your children out, I think you should reassure them that they are still on your priority list and they are not going to be second fiddle because you are now married again BUT they must understand that the new husband loves them too (I hope he does!). Then you should have a discussion as entire family and be open and set ground rules. If he is willing to step up and be their father, then let him. What does the EX have to do with it. If the EX hasn't been around and is on his way back with visitation, SO WHAT! He hasn't been there and now you have a new husband. Let their real father be their father (because you shouldn't keep him away) and let their new father love them too. Don't play the EX and NEW against each other. Don't talk about either one of them to the children. The children should be the focus and concern. It's almost like you need to be like Will, Jada and his ex-wife, putting aside the difference for the betterment of the children. It's simpler said than done because of men and their ego's but that's my two cents. I hope other women shed more light.

Thanks for the question!

Fantasia! Fantasia! Fantasia! Now she has made a song about being the mistress!

This story keeps getting more and more interesting with Fantasia and Mr. Antwaun Cook. Unless you don't watch the news, read entertainment blogs or websites, or listen to the radio - how could you not know about this story. What is even more interesting, is that it's not over! It's far from even being over, but the choices Fantasia makes from here on out are going to play a major role in the outcome of this situation.

Over the past year we have seen quite a few celebrity women start relationships (which either contributed to the demise of their marriage or it just appeared that way) with married men. Most recently Alicia Keys and Swiss Beatz, who are expecting a child and recently tied the knot. Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade, whose wife was trying everything she could think of to keep those two apart! Can you think of any more right now?

Well what makes this story different is that she was not only bold enough to tell the wife, "...next time you get a husband maybe you will know how to treat him...your husband doesn't want you and that's why he's here with me!" Also, the wife of Mr. Cook is now suing Fantasia for alienation of affection! That is legal in the state of North Carolina. Also, after the news came out about the lawsuit, she either attempted to commit suicide or she staged a fake suicide attempt (based on http://www.mediatakeout.com/), because the husband broke up with her. The jury is still out on that.  BUT now she has made a song, "Lucky" in which she talks about being the mistress! Fantasia’s album Back to Me is scheduled to hit stores August 24, 2010. “Lucky” is not listed as one of the tracks on the album. The single has been dubbed the “homewrecker anthem” and will more than likely become a fan favorite despite the current circumstances that makes the song appear all too real. Listen to the song here.


And here are SOME of the lyrics:

Damn, she get to have it every day.
What a lucky girl! Ooohh, well tonight I’ll take her place.
I’m a lucky girl! Damn, do you spread her legs this way?
What a lucky girl! Ummm, you’re the king at this foreplay.
I’m a lucky girl!”

Hook:
I know you got a girl and I know that I’m wrong,
but a hard man’s good to find.
Yeah, she get to have it all year long,
so can I just get tonight?”

I will also ask this question, "Do you only get one true love in your life?" and well maybe two questions, "And can that true love be someone else's husband at the time you me and realize he is the love of your life?" A friend had this question on her Facebook status and she had some pretty interesting responses. Then someone brought up Fantasia & Cook!

How did HE propose?

Most (not all) women dream of their wedding day. We dream of walking down the isle and the dress we will wear. Before the wedding day, comes the proposal. I never really dreamed about how I wanted to be proposed to, until I was ready to be proposed to. My husband didn't propose to me until we dating for 2 years and 2 months. BUT ... I thought he was going to purpose to me on our 1st dating anniversary! We went out to eat at the Atlanta Fish Market and the whole night I was looking for cues that he was going to propose. I was looking in my drink for a ring, look at the server to see if they were making eye contact, looking in my dessert...... and when the bill came and he paid it.... I knew it was not going to happen. I didn't tell him that night I thought he was going to propose. I just went home feeling real crazy. Especially since the proposal didn't come for another year!

My husband proposed on Christmas Day 2002. That Christmas I woke up and went over his parents home. I didn't have any family here so I was invited to spend the holiday with him and his family. This holiday it was him, his brother (his new wife and baby), his parents, grandfather, aunt & uncles, cousins .... just a house full. Well everyone started opening up gifts one at a time. Earl handed me a gift, and why did I think "This could be it!" I opened the box and it was SOCKS! I said inside, "What the world!" But I knew it was a real gift because I needed socks and he really is thoughtful like that. Then I had another gift under the tree! Could this be it? No. It was a George Foreman Grill. It was from his brother & sister-in-law.  By this time, it was not one present under the tree and I was kinda ready to go. So all of a sudden I hear Earl say, oh there's one more gift. His brother goes and gets the big Macy's box. By then, I am sitting on the couch with my hand on my head like, whatever! Earl hands me this big box. I kinda freeze and think, "I know this is not what I think it is!" I opened it and it's this ring box inside. Everyone starts screaming and he gets down on his knee and whisper in my ear, "Will you marry me?" I had my hand over my mouth like most people do when they are so surprised. I was thinking this was something I have wanted for a long time and it was finally here but I didn't think it would be like this, feel like this. I was smiling from ear to ear.

What made me smile even more was that everyone in the room knew except for me! They even taped the whole thing! He even called my grandmother and asked for her blessing! So.... of course I said, "Yes!" and nine months later we had a beautiful Fall wedding.  What about you? How did HE propose?

I got STRAIGHT PLAYED! *Share you stories - single or married*

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NOW- let's dive in!
Have you ever liked a guy so much that you told him all your secrets, gave him the keys to your house, email passwords, let him drive your car, even gave him money, more or less - to only find out YOU GOT STRAIGHT PLAYED! Today, you can share your stories and what you learned.

Well let me say, I have never did any of the above, except maybe let a guy drive my car BUT I still got played before! I must say it was in college. Life is about experiences and we should definitely learn from them. How about coming home from college on your summer break to find out that your boyfriend had a sideline boo! And you find out from her! How about liking a dude (really like a dude, and he gets another chick pregnant and has the nerve to ask you, "Would you have married me if this didn't happen?" What in the world!! And this guy married that girl, who was in high school at the time! LOL (they are now divorced!) How about having a greaaaat summer with a guy to find out it was all a bet! 2 out of 3 of the stories shared, I did shed a tear or two but I got over it. It didn't scar me. It didn't give me baggage either. I will say I am not an innocent one, b/c I did my share of playing too back in the day. Maybe that's why I didn't get too mad! I did learn that you have to pay attention to details when it comes to the person you're dating because whether you believe it or not....it's in the details. Who they really are sometimes are in the words they aren't really saying. The body language. Or even sometimes in the little jokes they tell. Pay attention and not just for a freaking week or a month but for a long time because people are on their best behavior for months.

But I am glad that when I was ready and God felt I was ready he sent me great husband. Of course he's not perfect but he's real and I really can't complain. He is the true definition of a husband, my husband. Soooo, what about you?