Can you afford to stay at home? 5 Reasons One Parent Should Stay-at-home

I was reading this article on yahoo (click for full article) regarding staying at home with your children and how it really benefits the emotional well-being of the child. Also it can really save the household a ton of money in childcare expenses. I am on the fence. I would love to stay at home, but then again - I love having the career too. I think a happy medium for me would be a business I could run from home and that way I can see my children more. Just writing this gets my wheels turning...hmmmmmmmmm (thinking of a business!)

The article gave 5 great reasons why one parent should stay at home.

1. Money - I think you definitely save more money when the children are young (birth - preK). Childcare costs are not cheap for quality care. In my area (Georgia), the cost goes down as the child's age goes up. You can easily pay $1000 a month. Not to mention the extras (diapers, clothes, etc.).

2. Time - I was able to stay at home the whole year when my son started kindergarten and that was a great feeling. I was able to take him and pick him up every day. It was nothing like seeing his smile when he saw me at the door. We had our bonding time and it was just great. I went back to work when he started first grade and always tell my hubby how I miss those afternoons with my son. My husband now picks him up in Monday and Tuesday after school. I pick him up Wed-Fri from their after school program. As a mother, it's hard to only get 5pm-8pm (bedtime) with your kids a day. That's dinner time, bath time, reading time and very little play time. It's hard though, because in so many households both parents have to work.

3. Energy - I know that I am so glad when 5pm comes, but I must admit I have to perk myself up sometimes when I see my children. Many days, I want to run to my bed or just relax but I can't. I hear my daughter singing, "Mommy's home!!!" and then she runs up and jumps all over me. I immediately have to pull energy from somewhere and be who they need me to be.

4. Bonding - It's so obvious the more time you spend with someone, the more you bond. Because of our schedules and jobs, during the week it seems my husband gets more face time with the children. And over the years, he has had more time with our daughter. And she LOVES THAT MAN! LOL! She is a daddy's girl. I love it though. Seeing them together makes my heart melt. But at times, I wish she hugged me and screamed for me like that. It sometimes makes me question my working decisions.

5. Stress - I think this one depends on the person. You could have stress on the job and bring that home with you (attitude/behavior). Or you could have stress at home and take it out on the children (ex: distant). Would one parent staying at home make your life less stressful? Only you would know that. Just like only you would know if staying home is beneficial to your family. In most cases it always is, but financially it is not always realistic.

Do you agree?

Meet the WIFE of the Week, Mrs. Arian Hall! Read how God is the head of this Marriage!

Hi Arian! How are you? I’m well, Bernetta! How is everything going?


I see a big smile on your face! You are a newlywed right? Absolutely! Totally loving it!

How long have you been married? We’re newbies, so Manny and I have been married for about a month and a half now.

Where are you from? I’m originally from Akron, Ohio by way of Landstuhl, Germany.

What do you do? I am a business owner. The BUSYSuite is a company that helps other business by offering virtual assisting in administrative support, social media management, and public relations/marketing. VELA Beauty is a blog and ministry for women and young ladies. I help my husband with his credit restoration company called 1 Stop Credit Solutions. He is so dedicated to helping people get their lives back and I just love being a part of it. So, I am running these three companies with my husband right now in addition to being a Budget Analyst at The University of Akron, finishing school, and raising our children.

Do you have children? Yes, I have three little ones.

Do you want more? We’re already the Brady Bunch, but, yes, we’re planning on having more.

How long did your husband court you? We courted for a little over a year and we also remained celibate throughout this time.

Did you all live together before saying I do? No, we did not. We had our own homes. Needless to say, he was showing me that he knew how to handle his business.

Where did you two meet? Manny and I officially met on the night of the First Annual Victory Awards banquet at “THE WORD” Church, which is our church. Prior to this event, we had seen each other in passing a myriad of times. He is a minister at our church, and I was a ministry leader at our Akron church location. This was the night that he told a friend of his that I was his type and that I was his wife. He didn’t know me, but he says that there was some sort of glow around me as if God was giving him the okay to pursue me. He won two awards that night, and I was really happy for him. En route to congratulate some friends of mine who also won awards, I tapped his arm and said, “Congrats on the awards!” He tried to find me so that he could talk to me, but he says that I disappeared like Cinderella. So, he decided to try to find me on Facebook except he didn’t know my name. He asked around about me, but since I did not fraternize with the brothers there wasn’t much information they could give him. He eventually found me on our pastor’s Facebook page –yeah, one out of 5,000 and not knowing my name!—and sent me an inbox message introducing himself. A large part of me liked that he contacted me and wanted to go out –I mean, he’s a handsome guy!—but another part of me was content being single and I did not want to go out with him unless God said it was okay. My reason was this: I did not want to be that girl who went out with every guy in the church. God really answered this prayer and preserved me because every other guy has said or done something weird that made me lose so much interest that I never went out with them. With Manny, everything was too good to be true. He met every quality of my list—yes, I had a list, and I recommend every single woman and man have one that they pray over. Girl, I was tripping and I liked how I was feeling when we talked, but I kept putting off going out with him. After going out with him and hitting it off –he didn’t say anything immature or crazy and I felt peace in my spirit –we talked for about two weeks and we would steal a minute or two to sit down and talk in between services at church. I called him and asked for a break. I told him that I needed two days with God to make sure that I was supposed to be seeing him. I felt myself getting caught up, you know? Manny said he was okay with taking two days off, but later on he confessed and said it was the longest two days of his life. Lol. God gave me the green light, and the rest is history.

Is he your soul-mate? How did you know? YES! He totally is. I knew because he and I have such a natural click. We can be goofy, serious, silly, corny, and whatever else around each other. It’s been like this from day one. I also knew after that two-day break.

Are you involved in your church? We are very involved in our church. We were involved heavily before we began a relationship together.

Was it important that your husband be involved in church? Yes. I grew up in the church. Although I have spent many years running away from my calling, I knew that I was called into ministry and if I am to be married then my husband needs to be serving and leading as well.

Could you love him if he was another religion? ex: Muslim To be honest, I do not think that I would have been able to fall in love with him if his belief system were not similar to my own. Although, I see people who are able to respect the other person’s beliefs in these situations, I wanted to be on the same page as my husband and be challenged to grow more in our faith together.

Do you think you would have even given him a chance? If had given him a chance, it would not have gone past the first date. The reason is because I knew exactly what I was looking for in a husband. I needed someone who would train up our children in a manner that ministers peace in my spirit as well. I needed someone who could hear from God and who could cover our family like a priest, bless our family like a prophet, and lead our family like a king. The only way that I believe a man can do this is with the help of the Holy Spirit.

What are you looking forward to the most from your marriage? I am looking forward to building a Kingdom legacy in our family, creating wealth in our family, and serving through ministry.

Have you had your first argument yet? What was it about? Lol. Of course. I lost the remote control… need I say more? Lol. He handled it well, but I could tell he was really bothered by not having it.

Did you two discuss gender roles?  Yes, we discussed these prior to getting married.

What do you love about him? What kinda drive you crazy about him? I absolutely love his smile. It can take me from 60 to 0 in a millisecond. I can never stay angry at him, even if he were all-the-way wrong. I love his arms, how he holds me, his determination for success, his work ethic, his heart for people, the way he loves and worships God, the way he loves the kids, and so many other things that I do not have time to list. He is such an awesome man of God. Something that drives me crazy about him is when he says that I’m wrong about something when I believe that I am actually right.

What are you marriage goals for 2012? What are your personal goals for 2012? My 2012 goals for my marriage would be to get to know my husband even better and to operate in my role more effectively. My husband is truly my best friend, and I want to keep it that way. We crack each other up. My personal goals for 2012 are to be able to manage our businesses full-time so that I can spend more time with my husband and my children and to grow 8 inches of hair! Lol. I’m natural and last year I did a lot of coloring, so I’m working on growing healthy hair rather than worrying about stylish hair. It’s shoulder-length right now, when straightened.

Do you have all your husband social networking passwords? Manny gave me his passwords when we were courting. So, yes, we have each other’s passwords.

Was your wedding day perfect? It was a beautiful day.

How do your children get along with your husband? Does he have children? I have two children (my son JT, 6, and my daughter Jae, 3) and he has a daughter (Savannah, 2). We both were single parents, and I believe this one of the reasons why we both asked tons of questions throughout the courtship. Our kids have been one of the least complicated parts in joining our families together. My children were very receptive to Manny and especially to his daughter. In fact, this was an answer to my son’s prayers, which he had been praying since he was 3 years old. His daughter has welcomed me and my kids into her little heart also.

How do you deal with a blended family? I really do not believe that there is one fool-proof way to make a blended family work because there are so many variables involved. Simply, we keep God at the center of all things. One thing we have learned is that both the role of the husband and the wife, according to the Bible, are types of Christ. Even more so in a blended family, when we take in children and family members who were not ours prior to the union, we have to walk in the likeness of God since He adopted us into His family when we accepted Him. Dealing with the co-parents is not always easy, but since we know our purpose we walk in the power of God each time we have to communicate with them.

How do you balance work, WIFE, mommy and business owner? Single moms do juggling acts all the time. As a single mom, I was building three businesses, working full-time, going to school, raising my little ones, and serving at church. I believe that period of my life has equipped me for this new juggling act. I always find time for myself; and that has been 40 minutes of working out at 5am each day with Sundays off or hair, nails, and a movie. During lunch breaks, I’m usually doing something that benefits my businesses or doing a project for school. When I get home, it’s family first. I feed everyone and get the house in order, go over homework with the kids, playtime and story time with the kids, spend some time on my businesses, and then it’s time with my husband. I firmly believe that we will make room for the things that we want to accomplish.

How does FAITH help you? Faith is everything. I honestly believe that I would go crazy without God holding me together and keeping me strong. I start my day by praying and reading my Bible because with all that I have going on, my patience could slip and someone’s feelings could get hurt. My mom spent a week in my shoes while I was on my honeymoon and she actually gave me kudos for all that I do. I have always looked at her as this great superwoman —and she truly is—whose shoes I could not fill and to hear her say that she admires what I do meant so much to me. The thing is that I know the strength to do all of this comes from God. I could not have transitioned from calling the shots as a single mom to a submissive wife without His coaching and steering. Also, having faith in my purpose also keeps me going after more and not settling for mediocrity. Faith is what keeps me believing that I will be the best wife, mother, business owner, and whatever other hats I decide wear that I am called to be.

HELP THIS HUSBAND!!?? He can't keep up & feeling bad for his WIFE!

I was so surprised to get this in my inbox! And from a MAN too! The other day I got an FB message from a college friend he said, "Hey! I have a topic for your blog. Wives who are in their mid-30s are approaching that sexual peak. And husbands like me can't keep up... lol. How do the wives cope?"


It's a great question. And it's a real life topic. So I ask the question to you all, he wants to hear from you. Are you a woman whose boyfriend/husband can't keep up with you? Maybe he can't keep an erection for long? Maybe he is just not good anymore? Is it disappointing? Do you discuss this with him? Have you started looking elsewhere? Would you consider using a vibrator to keep you satisfied or a boy toy?
I am a part of a Social Organization called Mocha Moms and we are going to start reading this book called, The Secret Lives of Wives, where over 200 women were interviewed about how they stay married. Some of these women have boyfriends, secret vacations, etc.

I think that is a very hard situation for a woman to be in. Here you are, wanting to have sex, good sex, long sex, passionate sex and your man can't keep up. I would be very disappointed, but think about what he is going through. I am sure that man probably has his own disappointing thoughts about it. Men are very prideful and just the thought of not really satisfying their woman and being able to see it on her face.....I am sure does something to them. Well, I would say to the MAN, first go get checked out. I think it's important to see if it's anything medical that can be treated or reversed. Is it stress? Are you overweight? Do you exercise? Are you still even turned on when being with your wife? I think the issue can easily go beyond, "He just can't keep up!" Unless it's just old age and 30's is not old!

Some possible steps to take:
1) See a doctor. There are many reasons that a man cannot perform effectively and if you never get fully checked out your symptoms can get worse.
2) See a therapist. Sometimes things are mental? Do you have something on your mind? Is there something you are holding in, holding back or holding on too? Go with your spouse.
3) Exercise. If you are out of shape or overweight, you surely can't perform to your maximum potential. Exercise will help you lose weight and gain more energy for sex and life in general.
4) Eat Healthy. There are so many foods that are stimulants. Do a little research and stop eating foods that weigh you down and make you tired! Eat more fruits and veggies!
5) Explore other ways to satisfy each other. Are you comfortable using toys together? Oral sex? Fingers? (LOL! I am laughing typing this!) Also, try going slow! Sometimes when you go hard and fast, you tire yourself out!!

Well ladies, this husband wants to know how you cope because he probably wants to get understand of what his wife may be going through. So let's help him out.

Hello World! Meet Nicole Ellis.
Nicole is my first cousin, our fathers are brothers. We are the same age and have actually on meet in person about 3 times! But we have kept in contact over the years with many emails and calls! I have grown to love her and look forward to our relationship getting stronger and stronger. As I talk to Nicole, we have both come to find out we are SO MUCH ALIKE! Our drive, our ambition, our goals and more. There is nothing LIKE family! There is nobody like Nicole! Nicole gets very candid about married life, and I hope you enjoy her interview!

How long have you been married?
I will be married for 5 years on March 17, 2012

What do you do? I am currently an aspiring author. In the process of completing my first book.

Do you want children? Why?
No, my hubby and I do not want children. We both enjoy our free time hanging out together by traveling and seeing different places and sites. I like to get up and go too much and I don't know how to sit still. Children seem to like me, but I don't have much patience and tolerance for alot of noise, whining, or just looking after little ones.

How often do you travel? I try to travel at least 3-4 times a year. Each year is different because I generally like to have one big planned trip and other spontaneous trips come on the rise.

What are your marriage goals for 2012?
My marriage goals for 2012 are: 1) Learning/Growing to be more of a patient wife with my husband and understanding that his way is not necessarily the wrong way. 2) To spend less time highlighting my husband's faults and concentrating on the good that he offers throughout our marriage. 3) To become better at saving money to truly enjoy all that marriage has to offer us and to enhance our future together.

What are your personal goals for 2012?
My personal goals for 2012 are: 1) To lose a significant amount of weight by continuously working out at the gym and eating much smarter, so that I can sustain a happier and healthier lifestyle for myself 2) To complete my 1st book before Spring 2012 is over with and to publish and market my book to its fullest capacity throughout the U.S. 3)To start my 2nd book and to put the time and effort into doing appropriate research to turn it into a great book of success.

I see you are natural! How does your hubby embrace that? Well, I have now been natural for 15 months and when I first started talking about going natural, me and my hubby were watching Chris Rock's documentary, "Good Hair." He seemed pretty receptive to the idea of me going natural, but when I actually did the BIG CHOP (BC), he clearly was devastated like he lost his best friend. I told him, it's just hair and it will grow back in due time. My hubby prefers long hair and not short hair. But now, 15 months later, he simply loves it and my hairstyles have become more versatile.

I think taking on the decision to become a naturallite has changed me for the better. My confidence level has substantially increased, I'm more comfortable in my skin and I don't apologize to anyone for the person that I am. Even working in Corporate America, I have worn my natural hair out free and funky, but yet in nice and neat hairstyles. It's amazing....once my co-workers (of different races) have noticed how confident I am with my natural hair, this is when they have embraced it as well and complimented how nice it looks on me.

Does your hubby get along with your mother? and vice versa?
Yes, my hubby get alongs with my mom very well. Often times, my hubby will reach out to my mom and have general conversations and I don't necessarily have to be around for them to carry on in their discussions. My mom is very fond of my hubby and they joke with each other about different things. Many times, all three of us have traveled together to different places and we have had many "movie nights."

What has been the best part of being married? The best part of being married is coming home after a hard day at work to someone who you can confide in and can let your guards down. It's refreshing to be consoled by someone who you can come home to you and who loves you unconditionally and is in your corner.

How did you know he was the one? I knew my hubby was the one in the Fall of 2004 and Spring of 2005. I had moved back to Chicago in the Summer of 2004 and I had a strong nagging sensation that was telling me to call my hubby. I didn't understand the overwhelming feeling that I was experiencing for my husband. Once I contacted him and we started hanging out. We went on dates and I felt like a 16 year-old girl whose palms were sweaty and had butterflies in my stomach. I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said, "yes." In the Spring of 2005, he asked me how would I feel about being married to him one day. I became really giddy knowing that one day we could be husband and wife. And, it came to existence in 2007.

Do you two go to church? Is that important? Yes, we both are members and attending the same church. Recently, we just joined a new church together and will be attending new members orientation. Attending church together as a married couple to us as we believe that God is the foundation of our marriage. Without Him, our marriage simply will not work and blossom into what plans God has in stored for us.

Did he ever tell you when he knew you were the one?
Yes, actually my hubby told me that when I was 17 and he was 20, he knew I was "the one." Secretly, after I graduated from college, he was going to propose to me. I never knew this until 2004. I'm glad things turned out the way they did and we got married in 2007, compared to 1998. I had the opportunity to date and to decide what I want out of a relationship/marriage.

Have you ever had to go through anything serious as a married couple yet?
Unfortunately, yes. On October 25, 2009, my husband's mother passed away in her sleep. She was only 65 years old. The last time I saw her was on a Friday morning as she let me borrowed her suitcase of a weekend trip to Kansas City. On Sunday evening, we went over to check up on my mother-in-law, as my husband had not heard from her all day. We found her passed away as she was resting peacefully, laying on the bed. Her death took us by surprised and we had to make her funeral arrangements. During this grieving period, the loss of my mother-in-law brought us so much closer.

Do you all have gender specific roles in your marriage? We try not to label any gender specific roles in our marriage, but my husband does consistently take out the garbage. Other than that, whatever household chores need to be done, we both contribute to them. My husband has washed dishes many times, cleaned the bathrooms, dusted furniture, washed laundry. I have done many of the mentioned chores and more. Wherever cleaning is needed, this is where we both clean.

What drives you crazy about your hubby? What drives me crazy about my hubby on a bad note is his snoring. If I don't fall asleep before he does, then I'm up just about the whole night. On a good note, I am crazy about his spontaneity and surprised "just cause I love you" gifts. I simply love it!!!

What about marriage suprised you? Actually, nothing surprised me about marriage. I had decided early on not to have any expectations about marriage, therefore; I wouldn't be disappointed nor measuring or comparing accomplishments by the next one.

What do you look forward to? In life and marriage. I look forward to being married till "death do us part" and just enjoying life with one of the most fun-filled, spontaneous, thoughtful, caring, protective, and God-fearing men for the rest of my life. I want to travel 3/4 of the world and to continue to explore and laugh often, and just enjoy each other's company.

Red Tails - We FIGHT! We FIGHT! We FIGHT!



Did you check your stub?

 I went to see REDTAILS Sunday afternoon with my husband, children & mother. We all really enjoyed the movie. Although I knew who the Tuskegee Airmen were, I have never seen the HBO movie version that so many of my facebook friends were comparing it too.

"Red Tails," produced by George Lucas and directed by feature first-timer Anthony Hemingway (TV's "The Wire," "Treme" and "CSI: NY"), is about the Tuskegee Airmen, a group of black Army pilots who served with distinction in Europe during World War II despite facing multiple roadblocks caused by racial prejudice. (The title derives from the fact that the tails of their planes were painted a bright red.) In the movie they explained the Red Tails as a way to show they stand out from the other fighters, but what they didn't express is that white fighters had began taking credit for their work! So they painted their tails red.

Did you see the movie? Did you think it was good or great? I had a discussion with my friend who thought the movie was GREAT!! Her audience gave it a standing ovation. That's awesome, but by all standards of a great movie, it was simply good to me. I enjoyed the cast, although I think that Ne-Yo should not have been in this movie. His character (or his acting) just didn't fit for me. Terrance Howard had so much power in his role that you didn't want his scenes to end. I do not want to give the movie away, but there are parts that will make you laugh, mad, happy and cry (if you are sensitive). I wanted more though. I wanted more character backgrounds, and more history about the actual Airmen. The actual story line left alot to be desired. When the movie ended, I felt like NO, this can't be it. I would surely recommend seeing this movie but it makes you want to go research the Tuskegee Airmen to actually learn more about these dynamic men. It was actually around 3000 men and around 90 remain now. The remaining airmen would be in their 90's right about now.

I took my 6 year old son, and towards the end, he started to cry when something tragic happened to a character he enjoyed. He started balling in the theatre saying, "Mommy! I am so sad!" At that point, I wondered if I did the right thing by bringing him to see this movie as people turned and looked at me comfort my son. After the movie, I asked him did he like it. He said, "I really did Mommy! It was just that one part that made me sad." I felt better and no longer had any regret.

*Also, did you check your movie stub? My friend with to see this movie with 11 other and was given 12 tickets for Beauty & The Beast!*

Did you enjoy it? Why?

Meet Latosha Allen, "Been there, done that & will do it again!"

I want to introduce you to LaTosha Allen, she is a great friend of mine. We first met when we were 17 years old at Alabama State University in the financial aid line! Since then we have become the best of friends. She has been there at every major point of my life and knows more secrets about me than she needs too! LOL! She is a super friend, a great supporter, and a great mom. I invited LaTosha to sit down to an interview with WIFE, and even though LaTosha is divorced, she hasn't given up on the possibility of getting married again. She welcomes it. Meet LaTosha Allen.

Hi! How are you doing?
Great...I can't complain because no one listens anymore...LOL

Where do you live? Oxford, Alabama
What do you do?
Social Worker for the Department of Public Health
How long were you married? for almost 5 years.
What happened? We pretty much grew apart.
Do you want to get married again? Yes. Why?  I don't think God put me on this earth to be lonely.
Has dating changed since you were on the scene?
Yes and No...it's hard to start the process over again and getting yourself out there.
What did you like/dislike about marriage? I liked the idea of FAMILY...it was very important to me to have my daughter grow up with her father. I didn't like feeling like I was the only adult with sense at times.


Do you have children? How does she handle the divorce? Yes I have an eleven year old daughter. She took it really hard, but now she's coming around to the realization that it's life and sometimes life sucks.

How has your life changed as a parent since the divorce?         
I am responsible for doing everything for Taylin. Practices, games, school activities...it's all on me.
Is there anything you would have did differently? I don't think I would have gotten married. We married because it was the right thing to do. We loved each other, but obviously not enough to make it work.
If you could go back in time, what would you have told your self 1 day before the wedding? Nothing could have fixed our problem in one day...maybe 1 year before I would've just said this isn't gonna work.
Do you feel your soul mate is out there? Do you believe in soul mates? Yes I believe he's out there, prolly wondering where I am...LOL

I see you are a natualista!! How long have you been natural? Ummm I think almost 4/5 years now. I have my I love my hair and I hate my hair moments though.
What do you like about it?
The versatility. I can do a lot with my hair...curly, straight, wavy...I love the versatility.
Have you seen a different in the quality of your hair?
Yes it's much thicker and stronger than it's been in a LONG TIME.
I hear you are doing a hair challenge? What are your hair goals? Basically to prove that as long as you take CARE of your hair you can apply heat to it and it will not break OFF. I remember getting my hair pressed Weekly as a child and it didn't go anywhere. Because my Granny took care of it. My hair problems started after I thought a RELAXER could cure my problems...but it made the problem worse.
Do you have plans to get a relaxer anytime soon? Nope, not at this time...I'm going to admit, that I won't say never...a relaxer didn't break my hair off...My not taking care of my relaxed hair broke my hair off.

What are your 2012 goals? How do you plan to reach them? To pay off a ton of bills that I accrued over the years. I'm gonna tackle them one at a time.
What are you looking forward too the most this year?
Being CELIBATE...LOL...I'm going to get to know me!!!!! (you asked)

*If you are interested in being a WIFE of the day/week, please email your inquiries to wife2010@gmail.com

Can your President Treat his wife Any-Kind-of-Way? Newt Gingrich Ex-Wife Marianne: Newt wanted an open Marriage!

Does it matter if the President treats his wives and/or ex-wives with little to no respect? I am just asking a question. I know that Newt Gingrich has said ALOT OF THINGS that we (people who do not plan on voting for him) do not agree with but put that aside. What about how he has treated the women in his lives does that matter to you? Newt Gingrich has been married 3 times and Whoa! While he was married to the first wife, she was diagnosed with cancer and proposed to the second wife (before divorcing the first wife). While married to the second wife she was diagnosed with MS, he proposed to his current (3rd) wife (before divorcing the second wife). The second wife said (in her interview with ABC) that he asked her for an open marriage. He was upset that "She wanted him all to herself!" WTW! Click here for a snipet of that interview. Another point to bring out, is while President Clinton was going through his Monica Lewinsky mess, Newt Gingrich was a major voice criticizing him BUT he was actually in the middle of a 6 year affair!

Now, Newt has said many times throughout this campaign (because they keep bringing it up) that he has prayed and asked for forgiveness from God. Although, the second wife said he never asked her for forgiveness. And hey, I am not one to judge so if he has gotten his past straight with God - then so be it. But his actions still hurt people, so does it matter to you? Would you have voted for President Obama (if you voted for him) if Michelle was his third wife and he treated his ex-wives similar to Newt Gingrich? Does your President just have to know how to run our country and his private life is just that - private? Or does how he treat what should be his most precious possession (his family) be on display and matter? Does his action show morals, values, integrity? We all have made mistakes and will most likely make more - no one is perfect. And since he has asked for forgiveness, is it enough for you to VOTE for him? Just asking.

Click here to read the full article on his ex-wife, Marianne Gingrich.

More children? If not, what form of birth control are you using?

I am on the fence about what to do. I have two children and honestly do not want anymore. My husband is also fine with the two blessings we have been given. He also said it's up to me if we have another one, he is cool either way. He said as long as we can afford them, he's fine. Smh!


Well, personally I don't know if I have the mental tolerance for another child. I am just being honest. My children are 6 and 4 and are a handful. Don't get me wrong, my children are great kids. They love school, to play games, try new things, run around and have fun! And I love that. But to go through pregnancy all over again, getting my body back, diapers, staying up all night, turning over pissed off at my husband because he is sound asleep, trying to juggle a new born and little kids, daycare fees, etc. It's a little too much. #forme. I look up to women that have more than 2! I really do. And the funny thing is, from time to time I think about it. I always joke and say, we planned the first two and if I get pregnant again it's because God wanted me to have another baby.

Well that leads me to the birth control question. Right now I am taking pills, but I am tired of popping pills. I don't want to pop pills forever and I haven't even thought of asking my hubby to snip snip (I just thought of that as I was typing!). So my other option is the IUD? What are your experiences with it? I have had it once before, right after I gave birth to my second child. I had small complications but I am willing to try again. It's 4 years later and I am willing to try again. Is there a particular brand you use? I know they have 5 and 10 year IUDs. I would try a 5 year. I also hear there is this new foam method where they insert foam over your ovaries and that blocks anything from entering into your tubes. Ummmmmmmmmm, I will pass. LOL! That is too new for me.

Update: Since I wrote this blog, I did ask my hubby about him getting a snip snip! He said, "No! I don't want surgery." I said, "Don't you like that is unfair to me, to have to be the one responsible for "controlling the births?" He said, 'Honestly, you are right. It's really not fair. You are right." And there ya go. I just sat there. (We were oh the phone, or I would have popped him! LOL).
What do you use?

I have joined an accountability group! Write it down, Make it Happen!

This is year is going to be different! This is going to be MY YEAR! This year is blah blah this and blah blah that! But do you say that every year? What about 2012 is going to be different? Are your actions going to change? Have you transitioned your mindset? I am just asking because if it hasn't then I guess 2013 is going to be your year.


This year I am doing something different. I have joined an accountability group. We actually had our first meeting a few days ago. We have agreed to meet every other week for lunch! What is an accountability group? It's similar to an investment group, but the stock is in ourselves and the dividends pay a higher yield than most mutual funds. I recently read the book Write it down, Make it happen by Henriette Klauser and she is in a similar group. That is actually where I got this idea from. She read a book called Wishcraft, by Barbara Sher, and that's where she got the idea from. Sher recommends meeting on a consistent schedule with what she calls "success teams" to support each other in making dreams a reality.

The set-up is simple. Each week in a little memo book, write down your respective mini-goals, the piece of the puzzle that will eventually make the big picture: "By next week I will...." And then copy, as well, the others persons' promises. This not only makes each of you committed, it also makes you accountable.

Henriette reveals the two most important questions you can ask a person who is serious about moving forward in a project, any project, are:
1) What will you do next?
2) By when will you do it?

And the third key ingredient is the principle of "Return and Report." That simply means you can let the person know asap when you have completed a project (or wait until the next meeting). If you call, make it a business call. Hang up and call back if you want to chat. Your group goal needs to offer that kind of unconditional bias. A goal group is no place for "tough love" or ultimatums. The key is positive reinforcement.

Week after week, step by step. The new small business is successfully launched, the trip taken, the foreign language facilitated. The walk turns to a run as you triumphantly cross the finish line and look around for the next challenge. My vision groups goal is to challenge each other stretch, to reach higher than what we think we can do. I do have a little secret about my group; it's just two of us! That's right. And I know my friend (she might want to remain nameless for now) and I are both go-getters and very driven, so I am looking forward to what we can accomplish in 2012! I am so excited.

I didn't give a full review of this book in this blog post because today was mostly about my accountability group. I will say this book is GREAT. I really enjoyed it and plan to continue to refer back to it for motivation as well as new ideas. It really makes you "think" about your goals in a different way. It makes you want to approach them differently and expediently, at least it did for me. I already write a journal, but how I write in my journal will forever be changed. I bought this off of amazon for .12!! I caught a deal that day. #loveit

Excerpts from this blog were taking from the book Write it down; Make it happen by Henriette Klauser.

The Game Season Premier Review! I loved it, personally!

Did you see the game last night? OMG! I really enjoyed it. My husband and I (along with my friend Collie) went to see the premier of The Game at the Museum Bar in Atlanta last night. Since the actual official "Premier" was in L.A. the casting group held its own premier here in Atlanta last night for everyone that was involved in this season. Since I was an extra on the show, I wanted to go! We have never been to the museum bar, but it was very posh!

When we got inside, all the waitresses had on Saber Jersey's and they had blue and silver balloons everywhere. They also had this huge wall that the game was shown on via projector above the bar. We got there early because we wanted a seat. I am glad we did because it eventually became standing room only.

Now onto "The GAME". I really liked the season premier. I see that thousands felt the same way, because last time I checked it had over 56,000 likes and over 25,000 comments about last nights episode. I also believe that we needed that hour. Everything that was shown was definitely needed. It was no way it could have been a 30 minute show. Every storyline was full of emotion and made me fell like, "What would I do if..." Every character had major decisions to make and had a drama filled story line.

Melanie and Derwin: She admitted to having an abortion. We all wanted to know who she had an abortion by, Trey Wigs! I feel bad for Melanie. She had a good point, if she would have had his baby - would she really be with the love her life right now (Derwin)? Could he have handled her having someone else's baby like she did with Janey? Most likely not. But you never know. Do you think she should have told him back when it happened? Did he really need to know? I didn't like how he told her "Melanie, your lies and actions effect me!" Ummmm Derwin, your actions affected the relationship! Melanie was your girl and you cheated FIRST! That began the spiral of all things to come afterward. One thing I love about the chemistry between those two is that you can really see they love each other. And I love how Derwin is willing to work it out at all cost. I do not think he needed to punch Trey though! He didn't know Melanie got pregnant, but I guess that's a man for ya!

Malik and Tasha: This was emotional because Tasha was on a mental roller coaster. Should she choose her son or Derwin? That is a hard decision because business wise Derwin is the current cash cow! Malik is on his way o-u-t if he doesn't change in a big way! What would you do? One thing she needs to do is have more than one client! She needs to start scouting at the college games so she won't have all her eggs in one basket! I am surprised she doesn't know that. This is off the subject, but I still want Rick Fox to come back! ;) Malik and the model? I am so glad she wasn't dead, and I hope she gets it together because I liked what she did for Malik. She made him softer. And that made Malik so much more attractive.

Jason: His storyline was my least favorite because at first I couldn't see where it was going. I was thinking, is this whole hour going to be about him not like black girls but secretly loving them? It didn't get interesting until Brandy came on the scene. I knew she was going to be on the show but I didn't know the season would start with them getting married. Now I can't wait to see how this is going to pan out. I think Brandy looked great and I think she will fit in good with the cast. Jason also revealed why he only dated white women, because a black girl embarrassed him when he was young. So he was traumatized. Get over it Jason!

Is it just me or did you think TiTi was about to try to run game on Tasha Mac? I was thinking, Noooooooooo!! But I am glad he was trying to be the voice of reason.

Alright! Alright! Alriiiiight! (In my Kevin Hart voice!) It seems like this season is off to a great start! I do not know what week the episode I am on will air, but please know I will be watching!
Did you like it last night?



Do you have any HAIR GOALS for 2012? I do.

Do you have 2012 hair goals? I do. My hair goal is to have APL (arm pit length) by June. I am going to a friends wedding and my bi-annual Girls Weekend and I want my hair long and flowey! Last time we went to Miami! This time we are going to where the Bride is! I can't wait either. I am natural (have not put a chemical relaxer in my hair since Feb 2007). And since becoming natural I have learned so much about hair. Things I wish I would have known in high school, college and even after college because now I have the hair that I always wanted. I have thick, healthy, versatile hair! It's not because I do not have a relaxer either, it's because I know how to take care of my hair now. You can still have thick, healthy and versatile hair with a relaxer if you take care of your hair. But for me, not having a relaxer has just taken my hair and my education for hair to a whole other level.

I have applied things I have learned to even caring for my daughters hair. That is actually when I started researching hair. When my baby was one, her hair was short. And she had the littlest ponytails. I knew I wanted my baby's hair long and started researching hair growth. I learned that it's less about growing your hair because your hair is going to grow anyway (if you eat good, exercise, have less stress, etc.). It's actually more about retaining the hair is on your head! Protecting those ends (the most fragile part of the hair). It's a about a good regimen. I started washing her hair once a week and braiding her hair every week. She gets to wear pony tails on the weekend. I use good products on her hair, whatever I use on mine- I use on hers. And I keep her hair moisturized during braid out by misting with water and sealing with oils (Shea butter, coconut oil or others). My daugther just turned 4 and her hair is reaches down to the middle of her back! I saw what I was doing was working for her, so I started do it for myself. I don't wear braids through out the week, but I do try to wear protective styles to protect my ends. I wear twist sets, or roll my hair with flexi rods, or just buns. I too, get creative on the weekends and let it hang out. Also, I do not straighten my hair often. I usually do it for special occasions which averages to once every 3 to 4 months! I probably won't straighten it again until Mothers Day, then for the wedding in June.

Well, I follow SimpYouniqe on YouTube and she just got these BIOTIN vitamins and wanted to give them a try. They are for hair, nails & skin. It's funny because I have been thinking about getting the vitamins before I even saw her post. When I saw her post, I just took the plunge and bought them. They are pricey ($10.69 but I had a coupon for $2 off and they were 50% off! So I paid $3.) Love a deal. Right now my hair is past my shoulders but not the length I want yet, so for the next 5 months I really need to stick to my regimen and protective styles. This picture was taken in November. I had just gotten my hair straightened at a Dominican shop. I know it's not the greatest picture, sorry. I will do better next time. I pray these vitamins do something! I will let you all know.

Do you have any hair goals?

Happy New Year to you & Happy Birthday to me!!

Happy New Year to you! And Happy Birthday to me! I know I am 9 days late but I needed a break. If you noticed I took a much need 3 month break from writing on the blog. Actually, I took a break from alot of other things too. I got off Facebook for three months, I stopped participating in some other activities. I just took a break. All I did was work (still need that MU-LAH!) and came home and did what "The Hubby" and children needed me to do. It actually felt good to have "Nothing" to do. During the down time, I thought alot. I made goals for 2012. And I rested. I was still tired because my children are young and they still go 24/7 but I wasn't as tired as I was with all I was doing. I reassessed what was a priority for 2012 and have had to let somethings go. I did not make any resolutions (I usually don't). I started making mental changes in October 2011. I do have goals I want to reach and do it more proactively. I even have a accountability partner now. We will meet every two weeks with goals to accomplish by the next meeting. We had our first  meeting today. I think this is going to go GREAT! We will both hold each other to a standard to get things accomplished. One thing I love about my accountability partner is that she is a go-getter, so I now she will keep me motivated. She already gave me a task on day 1, that I was wreaking my brain over how am I going to get this done in two weeks!

Now! For my birthday weekend - I had a ball. My bestie's celebrated with me all weekend. My Florida BFF came up and stayed with me from Wed-Mon. My Alabama BFF came from Fri-Sun, and my local GA BFF attended Saturday and Sunday's festivities! Thursday, I showed Aseelah around Atlanta. She actually lived her years ago but so much had changed. We also picked up her NY BFF who flew down for the weekend too! Friday, we all went to get massages and OMG, that was the best massage I have ever had. That lady had me looking up every few minutes thinking, ...... I am not even gonna say. But she was good! ;) Friday night, we went to the comedy club and saw 4 comedians and every single one was funny. It was a party of 11 and they gave us the front row! And thank God they didn't get me, but a few of the crew got blasted on! Nothing to harsh. After the comedy club we headed to Pearls Bistro. I had never been here, but I will be going back. The cool part is that we were able to get into both events FREE!! Nothing beats kicking it for "Free!" We danced our little hearts out Friday night! It was like we were back in college.

Saturday morning, I went to get my hair blown out and headed to my birthday Luncheon at Ted's Montana Grill. Again, everything was great. The food, the conversation. It just felt good being with friends. After the lunch, Aseelah and I went back home to get ready for NYE night. Tosha and Collie went their direction because they went to the club. Aseelah and I went to church with my husband and children. It was a blessing to bring in the new year praising God.

Sunday, of course we got right back up and went to church. After church we ate dinner at my mom's house. Then we rested and headed out SKATING! That's right. We went to Sparkles and had a great time. My mom even came out and skated. Can you believe my mom can skate better than me. I am good, but she is REAL GOOD. Now my friend Aseelah, poor little tink tink! She bragged that skating is like riding a bike. She hadn't skated since she was 7 and she just knew she was going to get out there and flow! It was so funny, she went around maybe 4 times and sat her behind on the bench! She still had a great time. Monday was my actually birthday. Me, The Hubby, my mom and Aseelah went to my favorite restaurant and then it was time to take her to the airport! Even though it was a great weekend, I still had to get up and go to work the next day. I was on an 11 day vacation but still felt like I needed a break! I think that I am going to have a skate party for my birthday next year because it was just so much fun!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! If you have goals, dreams, visions or resolutions - work on them! Faith without works is dead! 

Do you like my Bernetta J Blige picture?

Joyful Noise Movie Review

My husband and I were able to go to the Joyful Noise pre-screening last Wednesday night. It was actually a delightful movie. We knew it would be a feel good movie and you could kind of predict the ending but everything in between was a pleasure to watch.

The movie stars Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton. Keke Palmer plays the daughter of Queen Latifah and happens to learn a lot of life lessons during this movie. The movie is about a church choir who never makes it past regionals because of another choir headed by Kirk Franklin (of course he's a character). Well, by a strange twist of fate and some updating their sound and moves - miracles happen. What didn't I like about this movie? I didn't like that everything Dolly Parton had on was super fitted! Her choir rob, her shirts, EVERYTHING! Do you really have to show your shape in every shot!!! Geeesssh! I didn't like the amount of cursing in the movie. It was NOT alot by any means and I understand that in reality people to curse so I wasn't offended, just felt it was unnecessary at times.

Would I recommend it. Yes, for the matinee. I really liked the movie and so did "The Hubby". We laughed, got mad, had those moments where you looked at each other and said, "I know he didn't..." and we even bopped our head when they sang. I hope it does well at the box office because it deserves too. You know sometimes you look at a preview and say, "I will wait for this to come out on video." I actually thought about doing that for this movie, but after seeing it I say, "Go see it. Just go to the matinee!"

Do you think you will go?