Plea for HELP! "My Husband has stopped......!"

Good morning ladies,

I hope you have been well. I received this email yesterday from a woman about her husband and how he has changed. They have only been married two years and she is already going through it. She told me it was fine to put the email on this blog in hopes that other married women will give their viewpoint or perspective. Please read this and feel free to share. You never know what another woman is going through and you never know how your story can help change theirs.

*You do not have to log in to comment. Just comment and you can put your name or anonymous*


Hello,
I have been married 2 years.  I saw your blogs and I had to talk about my life with my husband.I don’t know what to do about him, though. He acts like he don’t even want to give me a say in anything we do, he  doesn’t respect me, like when I don’t want to be touched, he does it anyway, like at night, he always touches some place on me and I can’t sleep. And he seems to be agreeing with everyone else about me and seems to love his mother more than he loves me, and makes me feel like I’m just a bad wife. And also, I want to ask a question- when your husband is done with sex you tell him not to continue but he does, can that be considered rape?  I don’t want a divorce, but I’m frustrated and honestly needing something more from him than he’s giving me right now. I do want to hold on to him, and I have patience, but honestly he’s testing me and I am feeling ready to separate from him.  I love him, but he’s really testing me, and I find myself asking where did the sweet man I married go? What do I do to make it better? I want both of us to be happy.

Famgrab Day! The Deal of the Day!

Hello Ladies,

Today is a great day. Today the wonderful site http://www.famgrab.com/ has displayed out Summer Fashion Swap as the deal of the day! It's a really great deal too! The Fashion Swaps are normally $20 but today you get it at 60% off! A whopping $8!!

Swapping is the new SHOPPING and it going on all over the country now. Ladies bring the unworn or gently worn items (Shoes, Accessories, Clothes, Handbags & more) to the SWAP and check them in. We then set up a SWAP boutique and what ever you can fit in your bag (that we provide) you can take home. We do ask that you bring at least 4 items to swap but there is no maximum. Click on the Swaptastics event tab for more information or email us at http://www.wife2010.com/

We are so excited about being featured today! Today is a great day!
See you at the SWAP SHOP! July 23rd!

I cried as my children rode away today! Have you ever sent your kids away to another state?

It was about 5:50 am as my son came to the side of my bed and said, "Mommy, can I tell you a secret!" He leaned over and said, "You are the best mommy ever!" And just stood and looked at me. I looked at him and started crying! He ran out the room, down the stairs, and into his grandparents mini-van. They were taking him and his sister to Florida. My daughter on the other hand wasn't as excited to go. As I walked downstairs, I heared screaming. Her daddy, is holding her as she screams, "I wanna stay! I wanna stay with Mommy and Daddy!" I want to bust out crying even more. I want to grab her and run back in the house! I really do. Instead, I stand there. I let daddy handle this one. And he does a nice job of it. He gives her, who by the way is 3, his fathers cell phone and calls his own cell. He talks to her from his cell as they pull off to make her feel better. She calms down. It worked.

My husband walks in the house still talking, as I wave by outside and crying like a baby. I started praying for my babies. You might be saying, "Why is she over reacting?" And maybe I am, but we live in Georgia. My in-laws live in Florida and it's not a hop-skip-&-a-jump away! It's hours. I have no problem or doubt they will take great care of their grand babies, but for me it's about the distance. They have watched them once before and I cried like a baby then too! I am going to miss them for sure even though I look forward to some alone time with the hubby. I am just not used to sending my kids away "for the summer!" Well it's really not for the summer, more like a week. Still, I honestly don't see how people send their kids away for a whole summer! I would be on edge all summer worried about my babies. I just need some peace that's all. Some peace.

Have you ever sent your kids away for an extended period of time to another state?

"I can't sweat because of my hair, so I don't workout!" Your Hair vs. Your Health

The following read today was found on http://www.youforie.com/. I thought it was an interesting read because I often speak to African American women who want to look good, but not good enough to sweat and workout. It's like the hair is the ruler of all things. I understand wanting to look good, but you can get your hair done ANYTIME, but your body is your temple and it's not an overnight project. I say you should workout and get your body in the condition you really desire and then worry about your hair. Why be fly from the neck up and your body isn't 1) Healthy & 2) In the best condition because you can't sweat due to your hair. The sad part is I used to think this way in my 20's (when I had a relaxer, and that was my excuse.). But I still worked out (a lot of walking in 30 minute increments) because I knew what I wanted my body to look like. Now in my 30's, I do not have a relaxer anymore and unfortunately after two kids my body goals are even MORE IMPORTANT so not wanting to sweat is not an option! In my 30's, walking wasn't enough. I have had to add workout routines, to get, stay and keep it toned! I can sacrifice a few cute hair days here and there to know that when I step out [for events or whatever] I feel I look great because I put in the work to do so. 

So please read the article below. It was NOT written by me, but I think she has some GREAT points. By Tosha Bailey http://www.toshabaileyfitness.com/
A 2007 study by womenshealth.gov showed that 4 out of 5 Black women are overweight or obese. In 2009, the CDC found that Black women were 60% more likely to be obese than non-Hispanic White women. We are all familiar with at least some of the diseases and health problems that are caused by obesity which include (but not limited to): Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, increased LDL (bad) cholesterol levels, heart disease, stroke, and death.

Despite all of that, the same study found that Blacks were 50% less likely to engage in physical activity compared to non-Hispanic Whites. Want to know the top reason given by many Black women on why they do not exercise? Their hair. A 2008 survey conducted by Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center found that 31% of 103 Black women said that they exercised less than they should because it might harm their hairstyles

With many Black women spending $70 or more for a relaxer and over $150 for a weave, one trip to the gym or pool can ruin the style causing more money to be spent bringing it back to its original glory.
As a personal trainer with seven years in the industry, I have personally heard this excuse over and over again. I have even been asked not to make workouts as intense to save a hairstyle. I know women who would rather pop a pill, drink a weight loss tea, have surgery (from lipo to lap band) and/or starve in order to lose weight without working out. Others feel that the only other option is to not do anything about losing weight at all. Obesity is an epidemic in the Black community and we must wake up, see the importance of exercise, and drop the hair excuse to put an end to it.

Luckily, there are ways to become active without ruining your hairstyle. In the 1990’s researchers at Harvard University created a pamphlet for active Black women called "Hair Care Tips for Sisters on the Move," that offered advice for maintaining both a healthy lifestyle and hairstyle. This pamphlet can still be found online at www.hsph.harvard.edu/sisterstogether/move.html.

Here are some examples of hairstyles that work well for active women of color:
Ponytails: Women with relaxed hair can pull their hair back into a high ponytail and pin the end under using hair pins. Use a headband/sweatband to catch sweat & keep the hairline smooth
Braids: This is a style I recommend to clients often. Micros, Cornrows or French Braids can be an easy way to maintain a cute style. You can also opt to create a couple of braids during workout, then take them down for a wavy, tousled look afterwards.
Weaves: Sew ins work well to protect your natural hair (because it’s braided) with the weave sewn in. This way you can wash the hair more often (if necessary) and be able to style it without damaging your natural hair.
Natural Styles: This is the route most Black women are taking now. Instead of fighting the natural hair texture, embrace it. Locs, Twists, Short afro or just wearing the hair out creates freedom to be as active in many ways including swimming, which is so often avoided by Black women due to hair concerns. I have personally been loc’d for 6 years now & love it! I was active before with a relaxer, but having locs makes it so much easier.

As you can see, there are many hairstyle options available to look good while becoming more active and creating a healthier, fitter, better you!

I completed my first week of INSANITY! (The Workout)

I completed my first week of this Insanity workout. I completed 6 days in a row! And what a workout it is. I have been getting up at 6am every morning to go in my basement and workout before the rest of the house gets up. It’s funny because my children get up after I finish and they always ask me, “Mommy, were you working out?” They know that mommy and daddy do work out. They even join in and hang as long as they can.


After the first week, I do notice a small difference. I know my stomach is down a little bit. I will take it! One week down, 7 weeks to go. I notice on day 6, I was able to stay in the workout longer than day 1 and day 2. So on day 50 and 60, I can’t wait to see how I am performing. I will say I want a knee brace though. I just want to protect my leg, because I feel something in my left knee when I work out. I also feel good throughout the day! I usually workout in the evening and getting up early is new for me. I think I like it though. The downside is I get sleepy earlier. Before I started working out, I would stay up to 1am with no problem. Now, I am getting sleepy at 10pm! It’s very weird. It also makes me make better food choices during the day. I feel like, “Hey I worked out today! I don’t want to mess any of this up!”

Insanity is INSANE. You work every part of your body without weights! And you start sweating during the warm up! I like that he yells in the camera, “You can do it!” I need that sometimes. I like when he also says, “Take a break when you need it!” and “Never compromise form for speed!” If you do this program, you will need a break unless you are superman. Just get back up and get back in it. When I do this work out, I just concentrate on the finished product. I see myself TONED!

So, one week down. 7 weeks to go. August 26th BABY!!!!!!!!!

I will say my husband is doing this as well. We are just on different schedules. He works out at night and is one week ahead of me. I told him that we can be each others arm candy.

To have or NOT to have your child a BIRTHDAY PARTY?

That is the dilemma I am facing this year. I have two wonderful children and they have been having a party every year since birth! I love giving them parties and I am sure they enjoy it, but it gets tiring and it gets expensive. My son will be 6 this year and my daughter will be 4. My and husband and I have agreed from now on, we will do parties every other year. And this year will be the year of NO parties. What we are doing is allowing our children to pick 4-5 friends and we will take them out and spend the day.


My son is actually a 4th of July baby. This year we are letting him choose his friends and his activity for this coming Saturday. He wants to go see Cars 2, lunch and bowling! I am definitely doing lunch and the movies but bowling might be ruled out. Once I add up all the kids for movies and lunch, that’s enough. If I add bowling, I feel I might as well have had a party! We are doing this to save money. But I don’t know, I will see how the day flows.

What about you? Do you give your children a party every year? I think if you want to and have the means to do it, by all means – have a party. If you want to take a break from the many kids running around and do something just as impactful for their special day – do that as an option. Whether you give your kids a party or not, they just want to have a blast for their birthday.

I do have a question. For parities where you let him invite 4 or 5 friends, should you choose the friends or let him choose? I let him choose his party crew. He knows best who he feels he will have a blast with.

If you don't like your body, CHANGE IT! My INSANITY Journey Day 2! (Out of 60)

I have started on a journey to redefine my body. I want a new shape and I am committed to changing it. I believe if you want a new look, maybe you should change too. I am not doing it with surgery or pills (but I do take vitamins) but I am doing the workout DVD INSANITY! I am 34 and I am already in good shape. I stayed active as a child/teenager and did cheerleading and track all of my adolescent years. Even as an adult I continue to work out and attempt to eat a balanced diet. Although sometimes French fries, pizza & chicken wings get the best of me. You see I am not a sweets person (which is another reason I believe my weight has stayed down over the years). I hardly ever eat cake. I don’t like pies and really hardly ever desire a donut, cookie or candy. I just have no desire for that. But like I just said - if you put some fries or pizza (good pizza not the franchise stuff!) in front of me…………. I might bend!


I am healthy. I am currently a size 8 and can fit into some (limited some) 6’s. At my last physical, all of my blood work came back as HEALTHY & great numbers! But I want a better body. It’s not about size with me because I am happy with my actual size (how I look in my clothes) but not excited about my actual weight and just the actual change in the body (kids & age). I am thankful for what my past exercise regimen has done for me but what I realize was – I was maintaining what I have (weight) and not actually trying to redefine my body. I currently weight (here it comes!!!) 150. 10 pounds of that is after baby weight! My baby is 3 ½ and I have never been 150 in my life. Before my son, I was 144 (the biggest ever at the time), but some of that weight was newlywed weight. After I had him, I lost all 70 pounds and then some. I got back down to 135. Looking and feeling great! But here comes baby number 2. I gain another 70 pounds but haven’t been able to knock off this last 10 pounds. It’s funny because I have been concentrating more on the 10 pounds over the last 6 months and it is remaining steady. I will eat right, work out and lose 2-4 pounds and then here come Friday, Saturday & Sunday eating. I will gain it all back over the weekend.

I want to lose 10 pounds and TONE my thighs, arms and get my abs TIZ-IGHT! At one point I wanted a tummy tuck, but I realized my stomach is not that bad. And if I just dedicated myself to really working out, I could fix it naturally (I do understand everyone can’t do that). I don’t just want to lose 10 pounds, but I want my body DEFINED! And I am excited about INSANITY because if I am faithful to the process, I know in 58 days, I will have a better body! I am going to blog about my journey and hopefully you will comment about yours. And if not, just enjoy the story. I am not going to post before and after until AFTER! I will be Thirty-FINE in a few months and my goal has always been to grow older gracefully. It’s time to have the body I want and dedicate myself to doing. No one is going to do it for me but me! I am tired of wearing girdles, body magic’s, corset’s, etc.! I just want to put on my bra and shirt and GO! I never wore support before my kids! I just held it in! LOL!!! But now, these support garments have become part of my freaking wardrobe! NO MORE! NO MORE! BETTER BODY COME FORTH!

So today is day 2 out of a 60 day program. I started last night after watching the BET Awards (which were a little disappointing, honestly). And I got up again, something I have NEVER done, at 6am to work out before going to work. I also have a new job at a college, so this is going to be interesting. Insanity makes you sweat like no other workout, so it looks like I will have to wet/rinse my hair after every workout. Thank GOD I am natural (no relaxer), so I can wet and go! Plus, its summer so I don’t do a lot of hair straightening in the summer anyway due to Georgia humidity! So I will be rocking a fro for 60 days!

WIFE NIGHT: Sip & Swallow! What is your Love Language?

Saturday, June 11th we had our first WIFE NIGHT Support Group Gathering. We called the night Sip & Swallow and we had a ball! We (Teresa, Angela & I) taught about the 5 Love Languages. It's based on the book by Dr. Gary Chapman. When the night began, I was able to explain where the idea of WIFE came from and what my goals are for the organization. We then proceeded to all share a little bit about ourselves and a Hot & Spicy tip that makes our hubby smile. OMG! You had to be there for some of the things that were said! Greats tips! It should have been called tips & sips! I have more pictures, but I need to get them downloaded from my friend!

After all the tips we took a wine break and jumped right into the topic of the night, the 5 Love Languages. The WIVES took a quiz, which gave them a preview of what their love language would be and how it can effect their communication within their marriage.  What I loved about this night was the dialogue. The women that came shared, laughed, taught and just had a great time!

Below are a few comments I got on the facebook event page as well as a summary of the 5 Love Languages!

"Had a great time... Ill be sure to bring a guest next time"


"Bernetta you truly have an awesome creative gift. Continue to yield to the Lord and keep up the good work."


"I Really enjoyed my self at the very first W.I.F.E Gathering. I enjoyed hearing everyones hot and spicy tips, I can not wait for the next one!!"


"I had a ball!!! Thank you sooo much for inviting me!!!"


"I had a great time and took away a lot of tips! I look forward to your next event"

Love Language Quiz
• I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do. Words of Affirmation


• I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me. Quality Time

• I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love. Receiving Gifts

• I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores. Acts of Service

• I feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for me through physical contact. Physical Touch

Explanation of Languages
Words of Affirmation - Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time - In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts - Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service - Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch - This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

MOLESTATION! How do you protect your children in 2011?

How do you protect your children in this day and age from people, family and friends that might take advantage of our babies? I had a conversation with a few friends and we talked about molestation. It's so unfortunate that so many people have experienced what can be a life changing event. It's also so sad that 90% of children are molested by people they know. Whether it was a father, uncle, cousin, mom's boyfriend or aunt (women do it too), it's heartbreaking.

What is more heartbreaking is that children are the ones that feel guilty. They wonder what they did wrong and hide the secret for many years and sometimes forever. So in this day and age, if you have children - how do you protect yours? I am so fortunate, I was never molested. Although a guy (who will remain nameless did attempt). But I did tell my mother about the attempt 3 years later. I was 10 when I told her. I feel it was a blessing, that nothing happened to me but none-the-less I will never forget the ALMOST! So I can truly understand the hurt of the children that actually experienced it fully.

I have two children and I watch them like hawks. I watch them around adults and older children because I don't know what's going on in the households of other kids. I don't let my son or daughter hang out with kids much other than them. No they can't go in another room, no you can't take my children to the bathroom, NO! I don't let my daughter jump in any man's lap. I do not play that! I don't even like her hugging to many men. I let her hug her daddy, granddaddy, uncle and god fathers! Even with that, I stand close! I watch my son close too. I see the innocence in my children's eyes and I want to keep it that way. I saw the episode on Oprah where all those men were molested and it was so sad. It was the day those little boys lives were taken or changed forever. I do not want that to happen to my children so call me over protective, call me crazy, call me whatever you want but my children are my responsibilty and I do not take it lightly!

If God gave you a ONE DAY FREE PASS to do something that no one would ever know about, what would you do?

A good friend of mine asked me this question today. She didn't mention but it's still a great question. My friends and I immediately responded (via email) with what we would do and I thought this would be a great question for the blog.

So, what would you do if you would not get caught and no one would ever know AND GOD gave you a free one day pass? Man, I will not say what I will do because too many people read this blog (even though they don't comment, but I wish they would! hint hint!) and unlike my "friends" - they might judge! Just know that I would do something that I have no business doing and have a great day with a smile on my face all day long!

What about you?

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver Splitting Up

(Article by TMZ)
Watch this video about the two http://youtu.be/Jh7cpWfAbVw

We're told Maria has been unhappy with Arnold for years ... and first planned to split with him back in 2009 ... but her mother passed away and Maria decided to hold off. Then, we're told, Maria wanted to try to break it off again in January 2011 ... but her father died ... once again putting the split on hold.

Our source tells us Maria is fed up with Arnold's infidelities ... coupled with the fact he's been "impossible" to live with. We're told Maria's kids acknowledge the issues -- and have pushed their mother to call off the marriage.

People who have spoken with Maria tell us ... despite her STRONG public persona, Maria has become a "shell of the woman" she appears to be because she is "terrified" of Arnold ... but in an emotional, not a physical way. However, once Maria finally decided to separate from Arnold -- and moved into a fancy Beverly Hills hotel -- we're told Arnold pulled a 180 ... and he's been "working extremely hard" to win her back. As one source says, "He could not be sweeter now that she's left him."

To make things even more complicated, Arnold and Maria have been spending LOTS of time together lately ... hanging out during Easter, Mother's Day and even their 25th anniversary ... which they celebrated together at an expensive hotel. A source close to the couple tells us ... despite their differences, Arnold and Maria have "serious chemistry between them" ... which is why she has such ambivalence about the break-up.
But ambivalence aside, Maria has been "miserable" in the marriage and has taken a big step to end the relationship.

What makes a couple separate after 25 years? People think that after a certain time that you must have gotten over the hump and forever it will be. I think that just because you stay married doesn't mean you are always happy. There are many miserable people that stay married for many reasons. Then there are the ones that have the courage to walk away no matter how long they have been together or how old they are. I look forward to how this all unfolds. Too bad Oprah is going off the air, because this would have been a great interview!

Jumping the Broom was so good! #tome

Did you go see it? My husband and I along with another couple went on a date night to see this movie. Was it worth it? Yes it was! I absolutely enjoyed this movie and to my surprise, so did my hubby! It was a good wholesome movie. The storyline was so unexpected. You think you know what's going to happen, but you have no idea. I am really trying to write this without giving it away. #itshard

Angela Bassett and Loretta Divine did great as playing mothers and at times, you want to smack them both! Mike Epps played a pivotal role in this movie. Not only was the voice of reason but I have never seen him more serious in a film. He still had funny punchlines which were delivered with great timing too! My favorite actor, well not my favorite actor but he is my Denzel Washington, Pooch Hall of The Game did a good job too. I wonder why my heart started beating faster when his first scene came on!

I will say that the chemistry between the two lead characters (Alonzo & Patton) could definitely be felt. I would feel very nervous if I were their real life partners because when these two kissed, it made you (or me) want to start kissing! It felt like it was real. Like they were really in love! This movie was refreshing and I immediately recommended to all my friends. It's a good girls night out or couples night out! Just go support and enjoy!

The W.I.F.E on The View giving tips!

Hello everyone! Well I made it to ABC, LOL!!!! Well kind of. I was on The View today. This is one of my favorite shows outside of The Game, Oprah & Gossip Girl (yes, I love Chuck Bass and Dan!!). I entered a contest given by The View a few weeks back. You were supposed to send in a 30 second clip Mom's Tip video that helps you cut corners on certain things. The winner would win a trip to New York to share her tip. Well, I didn't win but I received a call last week that said they (The View) really liked my video and wanted to share it on their show! I was so excited as you could imagine. I said, "Of course you can!" I had to sign a release and wha-laaa! They showed my clip today. I hope you enjoy the clip and the tip.

*Remember to send topic suggestions to wife2010@gmail.com
*The first WIFE Support Group meeting will be June, 11 (invitation only)

The Natural Hair Show - Atlanta 2011

The Natural Hair Show stopped by Atlanta this past weekend, April 30th and May 1st. It was such a good show. This was the 3rd year I attended and it has gotten bigger and better every year. It's really amazing at how its grown and how many natural products are out there for the skin and hair. I really believe this show is going to give the famous Bronner Brothers Hair Show some major competition in the years to come.

I went my friend, Precious and Cynthia and we were really overwhelmed. With all that said, we really just came to get one product, Jane Carter. I love her product line but it is EXPENSIVE! She is sold in Target and Whole foods and in those stores what you will spend $20 on, you can get at the shows for $5!!! So I only stock up on Jane at the show! This year her best seller appeared to be her redefining curl cream! It's a new product that all the girls are going crazy over. Its $35 in the store but was $15 at the show and she sold out in the first 3 hours!!!! But she still let you order it and she would ship it to you for the same price. People were getting two and three jars. I have tried samples of this and I must say, I like how it makes my hair look. The curls are defined and just pop.

In my closing, I will advise you to visit the show if it comes to your town. I didn't know so many women are kicking the relaxer "creamy crack!" and going back to their roots. It was so many women in beautiful natural styles, we couldn't stop staring. I did buy some products for my children's hair even though I make my daughters leave-in, I wanted to see if their claims are true. I brought 3 different Taliah Waajid children's (3 for 10) products which are normally $8 each. So far, so good with the product I have tried on my son's hair. My daughter has braids currently, so I will be trying the products on her this weekend when I take her hair down.

Thanks for reading and sharing!
WIFE
Sent on the Sprint BlackBerry®

When is it the end of a friendship?

Have you ever had a friend and you were super close and all of a sudden things just changed? If you really examine the friendship, most likely things didn't just happen. It was probably slowly changing and you didn't catch it. Have you ever had a best friend one day and the next day you two were just cool. You two don't call each other like you used to or hang out like you used to. You see her name on the caller id and don't answer. She has an event or party and for whatever reason, to you it's not important enough to go. You try to communicate to each other and it's still just not clicking. The sad part is that neither one of you did anything horrible to each other. Neither one of you lied or stole from one another, but for whatever reason the friendship just went down hill. Has that ever happened? What did you do? Do you just let the friendship go? Do you try to really restore it? Is it the "People are in your life for season, reason, or lifetime" line that people love to say? Just a thought.

If it's worth saving, I think it would be a good idea to sit down and communicate. Neither one might not really know what the other is personally going through. And sometimes when you are going through personal issues, your actions are different. You sometimes say things you don't really mean or do things you might not actually do if your circumstances were different. If it's not worth saving............I guess that response is up to you.

It not you! It's her I don't trust!

Funny. I was watching Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns tonight and Sasha's mother-in-law brought her husband's ex-fiancé over to see her son (Sasha's husband). She was going out to dinner with her son and invited his ex to attend! His wife (Sasha) had to go to work. Sasha asked him (really demanded) not to go because she trust him, but she doesn't trust her (the ex). What the wife didn't know was that her mother-in-law invited the ex because she felt her son was unhappy in his marriage. And the Ex didn't know that HE was actually happy in his marriage.

It just made me giggle when she said "It's her I don't trust!" Some women are so quick to think every EX wants their man, when sometimes that could be farther from the truth AND sometimes they need NOT trust their man. Some women are so quick to give their man the benefit of the doubt when SOMETIMES he just doesn't deserve it. Sometimes it is the hubby calling the ex, texting the ex, emailing the ex! But when they get close to getting caught - BLAME the ex! And we are like "I trust you boo! I know she still want you!" Are you really sure?

All I am saying is, its not always the ex going after your man. In the end of this episode, they all figured out that the mother set them all up. Oh! One more interesting tidbit. The wife asked him not to go out with the ex and his mom to dinner, and he said "He's grown and its just dinner!" And he went. Leaving the Wife with her mouth open. I don't think that would happen in real life. Ummm maybe.

W.I.F.E

WIFE was never intended to be JUST a blog! (Please read)

I know it has been a while since I have blogged. I have really been thinking about alot. I have been thinking about life, my blog, WIFE and other goals. I have been really trying to decide in what direction I want to take WIFE and execute it.

WIFE was never intended to be a blog. It was always supposed to be a support group for married women. A support group where we meet once a month or at least twice a month. My vision/goal for WIFE is an organization that supports the dreams and desires of married women. I want WIFE to be a safe haven. A place where they can relax, relate, and release the cares of wifehood, motherhood and life. A place where women can get support and assistance on goals, and assistance when their funds are low!

I started the blog until I could get the actual support group up and running. But I believe I had gotten used to the blog and didn't focus on the actual in-person group as much. I was reminded on multiple occasions, through conversations, actions, and time with God about why WIFE was created in the first place.

I will be officially starting the WIFE support group soon. I will be having an initial meeting later this month with potential board members and will plan to have the first actual meeting in May. I will still do topics on the blog (so please still read and share the site), but as the WIFE Support Group evolves, so will the blog. I welcome your ideas as well.

Thanks for your support on this blog, facebook, youtube, and via email. I am excited to see how WIFE evolves into the ultimate WIFE support group.
Bernetta
WIFE
Why Isn't Forever Easy?
Sent on the Sprint BlackBerry®

My Vision Board

Do you have one? I heard about doing a vision board years ago when the book The Secret came out. I never read the book but recently watch the 1 hour video. The Secret is basically about the power of positive thinking and has so many bible principles in the movie, I can imagine what the book says. So many people say "Write your goals!" Well, I decided to do a vision board so I can see my goals daily in my face.

What is your vision for your life? I am not sure how clearly you can see my board but I have tried to cover all my bases. In the top center it says, that "It's all about being Happily Married!" I do not want a divorce but I want my marriage to get better with time. I want our best days to always be in front of us. In the center, I have a picture of my children and visions I have for them. Visions of success, multiple languages, meeting their soulmates, involved in their community, never struggle and more.
I have a section where it talks about my businesses being successful. A section about me losing this last 10 pounds! On the left side its all about dreams. I envision myself on the cover of magazines, meeting Oprah, the President and First Lady (The Obama's), the cast of the game (hey! This is my vision), and more. I envision my own tv show and actually co-hosting The View! Monthly spas treatment and family vacations at least 3 times a year. I have my spiritual visions as well. I want to be holy and righteous in the sight of my Lord. That means continuing to live with integrity and really try to always do the right thing.

I have visions on this board for my husband and his business. My family as well. I want our relationship to be closer. So I have just about thought about everything and what I missed, I will put it on the board when it comes to mind.

I challenge you to do a vision board or just write your goals down. Again what is your vision for your life? Happy dreaming, happy planning.
Sent on the Sprint BlackBerry®

PoLateaz Atlanta

I had an opportunity to go to PoLateaz Atlanta this weekend and had a blast. I had heard so many cool things about this place and was excited to see what all the hype was about. PoleLaTeaz is Atlanta's premier studio for pole dance classes, exotic dance classes, lap dance classes, striptease workshops and sensual dance! It's a workout you won't forget.

The mission of PoleLaTeaz is to offer women of all ages a unique form of exercise dedicated to strengthening and toning their bodies while unleashing their inner goddess in a safe, fun and encouraging environment. Our instructor was so friendly, down to earth and definitely knew what she was doing. Unfortunately we didn't learn anything dealing with the pole that night. We learned a sensual lollipop chair dance and it was a blast!

At PoleLaTeaz you can have birthday parties, girls night out or take classes for your own reasons. It was my first time there and may be planning another girls night out real soon.

Check out www.polelateaz.com/atlanta
Sent on the Sprint BlackBerry®

A Threesome? What! Maybe.

I watched this week's episode of BET's The Game starring Tia Mowery and Pooch Hall. It was a very interesting episode and one that I wasn't ready for. She actually let the peer pressure of her friends sway her into attempting to do a threesome with her husband. Some how she felt she may not be freaky enough and she wanted to add some spice. She went to the club and met a young lady and invited her to her home. Of course the girl was willing, Derwin if FIONE! But when the moment of truth came, she couldn't do it. She even said, she thought she was progressive and new age but apparently not ready to go that far. Derwin (Pooch's character) didn't even know another woman was in the room, because he was blindfolded and the other woman was kicked out before he even got a chance to see her. What was so funny to me was how Melanie let the other woman kiss on Derwin and he really liked it. He even said when Melanie started kissing on him, "Do it like you did a few minutes ago! I like that better! You've been practicing!" He didn't know another woman was doing that.

I could not take my eyes off the show. They actually did something I wasn't expecting and that was let the girl leave before Derwin even knew. I wonder what he would have said. Have you ever had a threesome with your husband? To each their own but I believe that opens up a whole new can of worms that sometimes you can't take back. Take the show for instance, what if you let another woman in your bed and she makes your man feel better than you do with all your might! Then comes insecurity and maybe even jealousy. Or maybe not.

It's just interesting out of all the things she could have tried first to get more kinky, she goes straight to adding another woman in the mix. What about toys, role playing, and movies ;)? I am glad she had a change of heart. That girl went in to kiss him and she felt her stomach drop! I did too Melanie! I did too! Derwin is ours! LOL (my celebrity crush!) But all jokes aside, would you do a threesome? Or have you? Was it fun? :)
WIFE
Why Isnt Forever Easy